To be in such trouble for seeing my son tonight.

[EllsandMum]

My son has had quite difficult behavioural issues as a teen, due to a result of this he’s ended up in voluntary care.

I see him once a week of an evening to go for a meal or coffee as my husband won’t let him in the house.

Now every time it’s contact day my husband will pick all day and then just before it’s time to leave blow up an argument saying that I’m selfish asking him to look after the little ones because it’s not fair for him to cook tea for them whilst I’m on a jolly.

I said it’s 5-7 due to by the time he finishes school it’s easier that way and only once a week, I do tea bath etc every other night of the week.

My husband is saying that I’m abandoning our little ones for my son and it’s just breaking my heart as he’s saying it’s not doable and isn’t happening anymore.

I offered to do a different day but he said no because any day doesn’t work for him.

Now he’s asking me to move out.
I feel so alone and low.

Can you get advice from the police also
Coercive control is a crime now

My heart simply breaks for you reading this

If he’s ending your relationship over you being a parent and him having to take care of his children for a couple of hours he’s really not a nice person infact I’d use the word narcissist

You don’t deserve to be treated like this x

God this is awful for you OP. I really hope you can get out & find somewhere safe to go. I can't imagine living like this and you shouldn't have to either! No advise but I really hope someone can help

He's an absolute cunt you are better off without him. I have a funny feeling your son in care is not his, you might not feel it but you and your children are better off without him, he's a manipulative nasty cunt who is trying to keep you away from your child absolute bastard, get away while you can he will just start to control you more and more. X

This is abuse pain and simple, you need to leave for yours and all of your children’s sakes, this twat has serious control issues and you are allowing this by staying with him, ring women’s aid and go,

You need to leave ASAP with your younger children, contact your local social services and they can support you with this. He is abusive and I bet you any money that your older son has gone down the path he has because of this man and the way he has treated him. If you don't leave then the chances are your relationship with your eldest will never recover.

Your son must have a social worker you need to contact her and be honest and open about everything that’s happening and everything that’s going on I’m surprised they haven’t picked up on his behaviour to be totally honest, That putting a child into care is extremely expensive so I’m sure they will be delighted to have got to the bottom of the problem and be able to come up with a new plan that involves you all being together somewhere away from this monster

I've just the bit about you would not be allowed over to your mums for Christmas you are not a child tell him to fuck right off. Whose house is it. ?

Please ring Women's Aid and make plans to get out, for all your children's sales, and yours.

This is one of the saddest posts I’ve seen on here. My heart breaks for your poor son, what a life he must have had. Please find the strength to follow all the good advice on here, contact Womens Aid, your council and the police today. I know how hard it is when you’re at rock bottom but reach out to your friend, I’m sure she’s worked out what he’s like and will be glad to help. You are too young to put up with this abuse any longer, but your children desperately need you to act now.

If your son is in care he must have s social worker. Speak to them as they should be very understanding about the situation and may be able to put some pressure on housing to keep you locally due to needing contact with your son, albeit in temporary accommodation or private rented.

I would ask for this to be moved to relationships, where you are more likely to get the proper advice and people who are going through the same experience OP.

Of course there is no way, shape or form in which you are being U.

You are in a very abusive and potentially dangerous relationship

Ring citizens advice and ask for help, even go to your local police station and ask if there's any place they know you can go, you must not stay there do anything you can, what about your mums. ?

It's probably his fault your son was behaving like that. X

@EllsandMum

My heart was racing to go home this evening. Whilst I was with my son it was constant messages saying ‘thanks for nothing’ ‘selfish to leave your little ones’ ‘nice that you get to go out on a jolly’

Seeing your own child is not off not a blooming jolly.It's not selfish to see your own child.He's 13 not 23.

Who does he live with?;I'm guessing foster care?;i'm also guessing your DH was the driving force to have him put into care/live with someone else?

Hope you get sorted today. Which area are you in?

@ghostyslovesheets

He’s a cunt - stand up for your kids - he needs to leave

Yep. Agree here

@EllsandMum

My mum is going to have a think about whether I can go there but she hasn’t got much room… I am going to try housing again in the morning.

I’ve been peddling through life since I had my eldest at 16, I’m 29 now and I’m exhausted. Just so so tired of the fight.

I so understand. If you talk to one of the abuse support charities specifically then they will be best to advise on immediate housing options.

Keep peddling. You've met us know so it should soon turn and start to be freewheeling downhill to a better life ❤️

You've met us now

This man is a narcissist and sorry but your mum is a fucking idiot too not to help straight away, I'm a catholic but there's no way I'd leave my child in that situation. X

This shouldn’t even be a question. Grow a backbone and stand up for your other son. I would 100% leave my partner if this happened everytime I went to see my other child.

Ah. I have just read your update. My apologies for the harsh response. I hope you find the strength to leave this narcissist and start a better life for you and your children.

Every angle of my life is so abnormal with everyone ignoring my cries for help.

I know how this feels. And nobody understands how everything you say and do needs to be, as you say, sticking to the plan, staying within the white lines. A as bd yes it is exhausting. And yes you are now putting your hand up and saying I can't do this, we can't - and you're getting vague replies and sent here snd there with housing and nothing concrete and of actual help.

Try the abuse charities. I hope they do help properly. Keep us posted X

Jaguar77, its entirely possible for one child in a family to be in foster care or a secure unit, and for younger siblings to remain at home. What IS unusual is social services not being involved with this family, given the removal of such a young child, especially with even younger children in the household.

OP , speak to the social workers at your sons placement. If he's in a secure unit, ask to speak to his offender manager, or safer custody. Someone will help you.

If he can't look after his kids for 2 hours once a week then he's a worthless father.

@Jaguar77 f you don’t believe the op report it troll hunting is not allowed.