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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I’m so upset about an old snowsuit, tell me to get a grip.

261 replies

GarethKeenanInvestigates · 05/01/2022 17:41

My snowsuit from when I was a baby 42 years ago has been worn by my 3 children too, from my 19 year old down to my 17 month old who was still wearing it. I caught a seam on something last week and it ripped.

My mother in law is great at sewing and fixing things, dh asked if she could fix the seam.

He went there at lunch to pick something up and she handed him a new snowsuit she had bought for dd as she had chucked mine in the bin as it was old and she thought she would replace it Sad

I’m not angry at her at all. It was a 42 year old mothercare snowsuit that’s been through 4 children (it was still in good condition though and quite retro and cool). She doesn’t know it was
sentimental to me, We should have said not to throw it if she couldn’t fix it.

To anyone else it was a bit of old shit but it’s was one of the only things I had left. My mum died when I was little, my dad is now 85 and in a care home with dementia, we’ve totally lost him
now, who he was has gone. At the start of his dementia, he started chucking away so much stuff and I didn’t know. So many family photos, videos all gone.

He’d always kept that snowsuit though as my mum bought it the day she found out she was pregnant with me, and he remembered laughing at her because she had bought it in 1 year old size rather than newborn because she was in such an excited flap on the way home from the dr. He loved seeing my older two in it. My littlest dd, he was too far gone to even register.

Plus, I had it in my head that if I was ever l lucky enough to have a grandchild one day, I’d be that annoying gran who passed it down.

I need to get a bloody grip, don’t I. It’s a fucking snowsuit, not a royal christening gown.

OP posts:
ComDummings · 05/01/2022 17:42

She shouldn’t have thrown it away, that was very thoughtless of her; she should have given it back to you.

ToykotoLosAngeles · 05/01/2022 17:44

I'd be the same Flowers

It was a kind thing to do to replace it, but I would 100% have checked with you before throwing anything.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 05/01/2022 17:44

That's really sad and yes MIL was out of order for binning it. She had no right even if it wasn't sentimental.

georgarina · 05/01/2022 17:45

Absolutely NBU, how upsetting!

MIL should have checked before throwing it away.

Tal45 · 05/01/2022 17:45

Oh no that's an unfortunate story. She obviously thought she was doing you a favour by replacing it with a new one but it's understandable you'd be upset when the old one had such history.

furbabymama87 · 05/01/2022 17:45

Aww I'm sorry. Yanbu at all, I've got items from the past that mean a lot to me and that I would be sad to lose. They're more than just objects, they have memories attached to them of people and times gone by. It's weird the way we get attached to objects, but we do and they mean a lot to us and you're not silly at all.

CMhater · 05/01/2022 17:46

I'd be really upset too.
Have you got pictures of your dc wearing it?
I know it's not the same but it's something!

Your mil should not have thrown it out. Not hers to dispose of. I'd be very annoyed and let her know it was sentimental.

SirVixofVixHall · 05/01/2022 17:46

Could it still be in the bin OP ? Might not have been collected yet ?

AliveAndSleeping · 05/01/2022 17:47

It's got a lovely story and many memories attached to it. I can understand why you were so attached to it and I'm Sorry you lost it. It's one of those things that aren't really anyone's fault. I'm sure mil wanted to do something nice for you by getting a new one.

You've got every right to grieve for it though. Be kind to yourself.

GarethKeenanInvestigates · 05/01/2022 17:47

I don’t blame her, it was totally my fault for for not telling her it meant a lot to me.

OP posts:
GarethKeenanInvestigates · 05/01/2022 17:48

@SirVixofVixHall

Could it still be in the bin OP ? Might not have been collected yet ?
Dh said his stomach fell out of his arse when she told him and that was the first thing he asked her. It went with the bins on Monday morning.
OP posts:
PaulRuddsWife · 05/01/2022 17:48

Oh, OP. I was ready to come and hand you a grip but that's so sad and I think it was out of order of your MIL to just chuck it away without asking you. You're being very magnanimous towards her, much more so than I think I would have been.

It doesn't make it better, but is there any chance your MIL damaged it even more while trying to mend it and was embarrassed about it?

Shiningpath · 05/01/2022 17:49

Unless it’s bin day she can probably get it back, can’t she?

Floralnomad · 05/01/2022 17:49

Have her bins been emptied yet , if not send your husband back to go through the bags and retrieve it .

GarethKeenanInvestigates · 05/01/2022 17:50

@CMhater

I'd be really upset too. Have you got pictures of your dc wearing it? I know it's not the same but it's something!

Your mil should not have thrown it out. Not hers to dispose of. I'd be very annoyed and let her know it was sentimental.

LOTS of photos of them in all in it. I’m a sentimental twat.

And one really really nice one of me with my mum and dad wearing it when I was tiny Smile

OP posts:
Yummayumma · 05/01/2022 17:51

It’s easy to get upset about stuff like that even when you know you’re being a bit silly. She’d probably be mortified if she knew how much it meant to you.

HandWash · 05/01/2022 17:51

It’s a fucking snowsuit, not a royal christening gown.

But it was to you and I completely understand how you feel. I'm sure MIL would feel awful if she knew what it meant to you.

Thank you for sharing, I Ioved hearing your snowsuit story and I'm sure your children will too!
Have you got pictures of you or even just your children in the suit? I would get them developed and frame them, right next to a picture of your parents.

Theunamedcat · 05/01/2022 17:53

Look on ebay? I had one for my daughter from a charity shop that was genuinely years old and still in fantastic condition

SirVixofVixHall · 05/01/2022 17:54

In that case I am so sorry OP.
I don’t have my parents any more and I have kept little things my Mum knitted for me, that my dc also wore. I understand how upsetting this must be.
Thank goodness you have photos of you in it and your dc also. That must be some comfort.
I can’t believe your MIL threw it out !! That was quite thoughtless, to not ask you first.

SirVixofVixHall · 05/01/2022 17:55

Even if she didn’t know the history it is often handy to keep old snowsuits etc as spares for very snowy weather, or when they get really wet or muddy.

SilverPeacock · 05/01/2022 17:57

Aw completely understandable Flowers

RandomMess · 05/01/2022 17:59

I'd be heartbroken.

💕

Froppysue · 05/01/2022 18:01

This made me so sad to read, I’m so sorry OP Flowers

Dh accidentally threw out my dd1s baby shawl a few years ago, it was the last thing a family friend had knitted before she passed, dd was 16 and still slept with it on her bed every night, we were very upset and I’m still not over it!
Similarly my mil decided to help clear out the toy room when I was in hospital… and disposed of all my old polly pocket collection id had since a child and all 3 dds had played with.

PotteringAlong · 05/01/2022 18:02

Why don’t you get that lovely photo made into a cushion? Or a collection of that photo and photos of all your children wearing it? Flowers

ItsAllAboutTheLighting · 05/01/2022 18:02

Sorry but that would annoy me.

It isn't hers to throw away.

Replace, and give that. But to actually Chuck?! Not ok