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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I’m so upset about an old snowsuit, tell me to get a grip.

261 replies

GarethKeenanInvestigates · 05/01/2022 17:41

My snowsuit from when I was a baby 42 years ago has been worn by my 3 children too, from my 19 year old down to my 17 month old who was still wearing it. I caught a seam on something last week and it ripped.

My mother in law is great at sewing and fixing things, dh asked if she could fix the seam.

He went there at lunch to pick something up and she handed him a new snowsuit she had bought for dd as she had chucked mine in the bin as it was old and she thought she would replace it Sad

I’m not angry at her at all. It was a 42 year old mothercare snowsuit that’s been through 4 children (it was still in good condition though and quite retro and cool). She doesn’t know it was
sentimental to me, We should have said not to throw it if she couldn’t fix it.

To anyone else it was a bit of old shit but it’s was one of the only things I had left. My mum died when I was little, my dad is now 85 and in a care home with dementia, we’ve totally lost him
now, who he was has gone. At the start of his dementia, he started chucking away so much stuff and I didn’t know. So many family photos, videos all gone.

He’d always kept that snowsuit though as my mum bought it the day she found out she was pregnant with me, and he remembered laughing at her because she had bought it in 1 year old size rather than newborn because she was in such an excited flap on the way home from the dr. He loved seeing my older two in it. My littlest dd, he was too far gone to even register.

Plus, I had it in my head that if I was ever l lucky enough to have a grandchild one day, I’d be that annoying gran who passed it down.

I need to get a bloody grip, don’t I. It’s a fucking snowsuit, not a royal christening gown.

OP posts:
user1471439310 · 06/01/2022 20:08

I don't think you would have made a MIL thread. You seem like a great person.

UndertheCedartree · 06/01/2022 20:11

I think you should get a lovely picture frame to put the picture of you with your mum and dad and pictures of all your DC wearing it Flowers

UndertheCedartree · 06/01/2022 20:12

Oh, you got it back! How lovely! Your story really moved me.

Ijsbear · 06/01/2022 20:15

so pleased you got it back, that's so lovely. I'd be utterly devastated if I lost the few things I have from the mum who brought me up but died young.

RobinsReliant · 06/01/2022 20:15

💐❤️ That’s gutting. I’d be very upset at this. YANBU.

RobinsReliant · 06/01/2022 20:16

Oh wow! Just read the update. So pleased for you! Now tell everyone that under no circumstances do they ever throw it out!!!

PicaK · 06/01/2022 20:37

I am ridiculously pleased about this. Hurrah!!

TurquoiseDress · 06/01/2022 20:50

YANBU

That would've upset me tooDaffodil

SleepingStandingUp · 06/01/2022 21:07

I'm glad it's back with you op. And I'm glad that despite the posters encouraging you to be angry with your MIL, you've maintained your equanimity

UniformSchmooniform · 06/01/2022 21:10

I'd be absolutely fuming OP x I'm so sorry XXX we have to love people and use things and not the converse but even still... What a thoughtless thing to do.

UniformSchmooniform · 06/01/2022 21:10

Ohhh update! Ignore me x

EarringsandLipstick · 06/01/2022 21:29

I've been kind of enjoying the posts from those late to the thread who are only seeing the OP & are expressing condolences, and then the follow up a few minutes later when they see the update! 😀

keffie12 · 06/01/2022 22:22

It sounds like you may need bereavement counselling. You lost your mom young and your Dad is on his way to the otherside.

Cruse were wmwzing to me. There I'd no time limit with future. It doesn't matter what bought you to your tock bottom.

It's free with donations gratefully received as they are non profit making. Link to is below

www.cruse.org.uk/

keffie12 · 06/01/2022 22:24

I'm so pleased you have it back. Just read it. However I stiill think Cruse will help

www.cruse.org.uk/

TallulahTumeric · 06/01/2022 22:31

I've read through this thread with tears in my eyes. My dad is in a care home with dementia and I could just feel how much the snowsuit meant to you. I cried happy tears reading that it had been found!

Grieving someone that is still alive is the hardest thing. Just know you're not alone. Sending you lots of love and strength. X

1moretry · 06/01/2022 22:41

That's really sad, I'd be upset 😢

Cavementality · 06/01/2022 22:45

That's so sad and I too would feel the same. Allow the new snow suit to carry on your story and one day your grandchildren might wear it and you could tell them about the old one! X

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 07/01/2022 00:58

What wonderful, wonderful news, OP - I'm so very happy for you.

I agree with PPs - you sound like such a lovely, kind, gracious, caring person - so very pleased that you ended up with a happy result.

Even though I know you won't let it out of your sight again(!), just a random idea for you to take or leave: could you make/get some special name tags to sew/attach inside with the names of all the children who wore it and their birthdays/years (with plenty of room for future wearers' names!)?

Your MIL and her blunder aside, that would then serve as a permanent reminder to future generations about what it has meant to your family over the generations. Of course, many years down the line, it may end up in the ownership of somebody who doesn't do sentimentality and decides to just throw it away anyway - but at least they will then make that decision consciously and with full knowledge of its history.

Mamanyt · 07/01/2022 00:59

I so understand how you feel, having lost every single memento I had of my childhood and my parents to a housefire, with no replacing possible. It is a bit of a kick to the gut, isn't it? You know she meant well, as you have said.

And that said, had anyone given me something that old to repair, I would have replace the item, but also returned it to the owner. Something that old is almost always a family item.

Seemslikeagoodidea · 07/01/2022 01:09

YANBU, it's totally understandable for you to be so upset. Your MIL was thoughtless but I'm sure she never meant to upset you. Your feelings have been heightened due to losing your mother and experiencing the slow bereavement that comes as your father's personality is stolen, bit by bit, by dementia. It's hard, I've been there.

Luckily you have the photos to console you.

Seemslikeagoodidea · 07/01/2022 01:20

Oh, just read your update - what great news!

Just one other thought in your MIL's defence - repairs can be very fiddly and sometimes not very enjoyable, especially if there is only one sewer in the family and everyone else in the family dumps their repairs onto them. Maybe she just didn't fancy the job, after years of doing such repairs for others.

sunshinesky · 07/01/2022 07:35

I’m so pleased for you that you got it back!
You sound like a lovely person, I’m sorry you’ve had an awful year Flowers

talkalarm · 07/01/2022 07:45

Yay!!! Reading your update made me so happy. That's amazing news

ItsFuckingJuneDadQuickHide · 07/01/2022 08:10

Yay, that's wonderful!

friskybivalves · 07/01/2022 08:10

What you absolutely have to do now is work out how to post a picture of it for us all to see !!!!