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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this restaurant Bill split should have been done differently?

339 replies

2020too · 04/01/2022 19:01

My Mom treated me to a restaurant voucher for Christmas as we tend to buy experiences rather than items.

She deliberately picked this restaurant as is a lovely place and I also get 33% off because of where I work - she saw this as stretching the money further.

We have an annually occuring meet up in the lull between Christmas and NYE with 2 couples from our hobby group non-specified as it might be outing

We meet up with them every few months for a meal and drinks at various places as well as seeing them frequently for hobbying. We rally enjoy their company.

It was one of other couple's pick of venue last week. They suggested this restaurant in the group chat, and I said great because my discount would apply and so we booked in mid December for last week.

As we sat down for the meal, I told my DH to remind me to use the voucher when the bill cane as I'm likely to forget - my menopause isn't serving my brain well . The others commented on what a nice present and then conversation turned to their Christmas presents etc.

Now for the sums

The bill for 3 couples was £450.

My discount brought it diwn to £300.

£345 with the tip.

£115 per couple.

One of the others reminded me about my voucher .

So to me that meant we had £65 to pay.

Someone spoke up and said, okay so that's 345 less the voucher = 295 to pay, let's call it £100 per couple, yeah.

So that's what we did

I bloody know I need to work in my assertiveness kills and I absolutely won't be addressing the issue, as I'm not a boat rocker. I also am aware that I didn't explicitly say that this was just for me and DH, because in no way would I have thought anyone would have thought elsewise.

YANBU: most people wouldn't have included the voucher as a joint contribution?

YABU they were totally reasonable to deduct the voucher off the total bill before dividing into thirds.

Never had any Bill splitting problems before with these, and £35 inequality wouldn't stop me socialising with them again. I'm just a very bit Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
2020too · 04/01/2022 19:02

Think I made up a word there, sorry.

Elsewise = otherwise

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 04/01/2022 19:04

Shitty friends. The voucher was your money. You should have spoken up at the time.

TheFlis12345 · 04/01/2022 19:04

Did you explain that it was a voucher you had been given as a gift by your mum? Otherwise they may have thought it was something impersonal related to your discount?

Chimley · 04/01/2022 19:04

I wouldn't expect my friend to spend her birthday voucher on food I ate. Especially when she'd already provided a 33% discount. YANBU.

WouldIBeATwat · 04/01/2022 19:04

It should have come off your share. Not the total bill.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 04/01/2022 19:05

Oh dear. You should have said “here’s my voucher and I’ll put £65 on my card” made it clear from the off that the voucher was only covering your part.

Personally I wouldn’t have used a voucher during a group meal

Original poster
2020too · 04/01/2022 19:05

And the voucher was in front of me under my phone (planning on apple paying) if the location of the voucher showed any slight indication of ownership!

I hadn't flourished into the bill presenter in a Bountiful fashion. Grin

OP posts:
AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 04/01/2022 19:06

You'll never get a consensus on bill splitting and I haven't kept up with your calculations but in principle I would say that if ou can get a discount on the whole meal that should be shared but if you are using a voucher given to you personally as a present then that should come off your shar of the bill alone

You should have spoken up when it was suggested that your present be shared if that's what happened

I don't know if there's anythin you can do about it now

Starcaller · 04/01/2022 19:06

Did they know it was a Christmas gift? Just wondering in case they thought it was a generic voucher (like the kind you get at Pizza Express) that you'd brought along for the table.

Svara · 04/01/2022 19:06

The other couples already benefited from the discount, the voucher was your present and should have been paid towards your share only, YANBU!

WhatsitWiggle · 04/01/2022 19:07

That's bloody cheeky. They've already benefitted from your discount, your voucher was a gift for YOU to enjoy. I know you say you need to work on your assertiveness but so does your husband, he could have spoken up as well!

Hollyhocksarenotmessy · 04/01/2022 19:07

Piss takers, but you should have spoken up.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 04/01/2022 19:07

That's terrible. Did any of them pay with cash they'd been given for Christmas? If they did, did they expect to share it?!

UnsuitableHat · 04/01/2022 19:07

Sounds a bit rude of them to make that assumption about the voucher - could they have thought you’d said you’d put it towards the whole bill?
I suppose if a similar situation arises again maybe just keep the voucher for yourself and DH to use on another night.

SpringSparrow · 04/01/2022 19:07

How cheeky of them, especially since you’d already saved them £100 with your discount! You should have split the bill and then paid your part with your voucher!

Cakecakecheese · 04/01/2022 19:07

Yeah that's not fair, your voucher was equivalent to your money not an extra discount.

Lovemylittlebear · 04/01/2022 19:08

Wow how rude of them that’s horrendous- I would never treat a friend like that! Bizarre behaviour x

Original poster
2020too · 04/01/2022 19:08

@WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe

Oh dear. You should have said “here’s my voucher and I’ll put £65 on my card” made it clear from the off that the voucher was only covering your part.

Personally I wouldn’t have used a voucher during a group meal

Yes it probably would have been way simpler to use it in a less complex situation. But it probably would have sat in my purse till it expired (done that before Hmm) so I just want to do it whole I remembered.

I'll try not to do it like that again.

OP posts:
Doyoumind · 04/01/2022 19:08

Your friends are shits. Next time, you say "33% off the whole bill covers my costs - the discount is down to me after all - so the rest is for you lot to split between yourselves."

HunterHearstHelmsley · 04/01/2022 19:08

You definitely should have spoken up, if you didn't want to 'rock the boat' too much, it would have been done in a "haha very funny!" way.

BurbageBrook · 04/01/2022 19:09

YANBU, but you should have spoken up.

waterrat · 04/01/2022 19:09

I think it would have been nicer to use thr discount another time. It seems a bit wierd getting a personal large discount while others pay normally. However. You are right it was your discount. But I think being in a group may have led to confusion.

Original poster
2020too · 04/01/2022 19:09

@Starcaller

Did they know it was a Christmas gift? Just wondering in case they thought it was a generic voucher (like the kind you get at Pizza Express) that you'd brought along for the table.
Yes yes, I'd mentioned in the OP that it started a conversation about gifts, so they did know. ☺️
OP posts:
Sundancerintherain · 04/01/2022 19:10

Well, they are cheeky fuckers, especially as you have already furnished them with 1/3 off.

mediumbrownmug · 04/01/2022 19:10

Wow, I’m not sure what to say OP. If I were ever in a group that tried that I would speak up and said it wasn’t fair, and I really think most people would do the same. It’s like they’re helping themselves to the cash in your wallet, as they’re spending your birthday money.

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