To not understand why some people think that they have to same surname as their child?

[SalonSharon]

I don’t have the same surname as my children and I’ve never had a problems with this.

Why is it so important to some Mumsnetters?

Burbage for lots of people surname is symbolic of family unit

Can't it make things a bit awkward if you're going abroad with the child without the parent who has their surname?

Me neither, our kids are 20 and 17 and I've never had a problem having a different surname.

When I was a child I was upset my mums name wasn't the same as mine and my siblings. As a child I thought it made us less 'family' as she was the only person with a different name

@Cakecakecheese

Can't it make things a bit awkward if you're going abroad with the child without the parent who has their surname?

Never had any issues with that. There are many cultures where family members have different surnames

I suppose some people might worry people won't know they are their child's mother without having the same name? I guess if you've never had different names then you wouldn't know that in reality it doesn't make any difference.

Loads of cultures parents have surnames that differ from their children's & get on fine. I recon within a few generations it won't be as common to change your name on marriage.

I know more men that feel strongly about children having their surname than Mumsnetters.

I'm divorced but have the same surname as DS. When we go abroad I'm never questioned about his father, friends with different surnames to their DC find it difficult to go abroad and need written letters of permission from the other parent.

@SalonSharon

I don’t have the same surname as my children and I’ve never had a problems with this.

Why is it so important to some Mumsnetters?

Because a family unit is special and unique

Makes travel easier. Tendency for school etc to refer to you by child’s surname. Family feel of belonging - the X family. I personally can’t understand why you’d choose for your child to have a different surname to you.

I like having the same surname so it's obvious from their name that they're my child. It's fine if it's not important to you though. It's also important to me to marry someone before having a child with them but a lot of people don't feel the same.

I like the sense of unified family identity. Growing up I liked being “The Tolkiens” and I’d like the same for my own family.

Because I wouldn’t want my dc to be different to me, I wouldn’t dream of not giving them my last name.

Names our part of our identity. For some people that is individual. Others is family identity.

(When my DN was young, she liked to use her fathers name when she was with his family, although officially her name is shared with her mother.)

I have a different surname to my child and it’s never caused a problem and I don’t think I would feel any more like his mother if we shared a surname. That said, I can understand why other women feel differently and like the ‘team’ feel of the whole family sharing a surname. FWIW my son has commented on him having a different surname, particularly if we’re with my family (with whom I share a surname) and he is the odd one out

I have been questioned at the airport about my relationship to DD. I don't know whether that's because we have different surnames or because her place of birth in her passport isn't in the UK and her Dad wasn't with us at the time.

I always travel with a copy of her birth certificate now.

It's just something I like. I know it doesn't have to be that way, it's a personal preference for me.

When I didn't have the same surname as ds I was sometimes asked at the signing in area who I was / how I was related to ds. I noticed the people with same surname as children were never asked this. I know that to some people this may not have been a big deal but I absolutely hated it.

I also got a horrible comment from a dentist receptionist who said it was like I'm not his proper family.

I am married now and absolutely LOVE that we all have the same name. Zero room for confusion now.

My DS1 has his dads surname (my ex). When we went to Disneyland Paris one Xmas a few years ago we were asked At passport control for me to provide proof that I was his mum (his dad wasn’t with us obviously) I had to show his birth certificate to be cross checked. Was all fine but it’s a faff. Since that I’ve remarried so now I’ll have to take his birth certificate, my marriage certificate and my passport to go abroad just in case.

I don't have the same surname as DC and its never been an issue. Although I've never taken them abroad. School (3 different ones between them) have managed to learn my surname and my Mum's, which is different to mine and DCs

In fact the only person I know who's ever had a problem taking their DC abroad was my step dad when his DC were small and they had the same surname. They were all questioned as the airport staff thought he might be taking them abroad without their Mum's permission!

Never had an issue with travel or school calling me anything other than my own name.
I have never felt I don't belong in my family.
They are my children regardless of surname.

The most thorough discussion I had at Passport Control was after I changed my passport name to match the family name.

I always knew dd1 would have my surname as dad was not involved from very beginning,when I had dd2 I was determined she would have the same surname as myself and sibling as not to make her feel different,considering what a loser her dad turned out to be it was the right decision.

I didn't want DH and the DC to all have the same surname and my surname to be the odd one out. Especially as I did most of the work growing, birthing and raising the DCs! I like that having the same surname makes us a family unit.

Having the same surname can give a sense of a family identity.