To not understand why some people think that they have to same surname as their child?

[SalonSharon]

I don’t have the same surname as my children and I’ve never had a problems with this.

Why is it so important to some Mumsnetters?

@Notanothertakeaway - no problem and of course it could be that the person you know is different to me. It could also be that she wants to fend off people asking about when she's getting married I suppose. I'm very much live and let live so don't really judge in that respect. I've got close friends and family who have had the whole big white wedding and I've been genuinely delighted for them. I also realize that I don't actually know the marital status of many of my DC's friends' parents so it's not something that I class as important even though clearly others do.

Only had the same surname as one parent growing up and no issues travelling or anything else. Now my child is the same and no issues.

Although to be fair there was one issue in my second country where they tried to insist I couldn’t be my father’s daughter for some legal purposes and not have his name regardless of a birth certificate, but to be fair they are always a total nightmare with any kind of paperwork which is why many people there have to operate outside the law and not inside it. There were also issues around religion there when I was a child (possibly since theoretically fixed by EU law but I’m unsure in practice) and you name it so you can find yourself on the outside of the system for myriad reasons. Therefore I don’t feel this counts and I also refuse to bow to their administrative ignorance.

Stigma / class issues.

It makes the suggestion of being separated from the children's father or not married.

@Needdoughnuts

But if it was that bad why wait for marriage? Just change it! You don't need a man to enable you to change your name

Because back in the day it wouldn't have occurred to me.

And I think my father would have been very hurt

@colourfulpuddles

If you are not married to your child’s father and/or you don’t share the same name, you are not a family unit. You are two people who happen to share a child.

I wouldn’t stand for that and I don’t know why anyone does.

What an fucking odd assertion.

My aunt and uncle, together 40 years through 3 children, a business, dogs, horses, 2 bouts of cancer... they're just 'two people who happen to share a child', and not a family because they didn't get married, are they?

What about my cousin, who is married with 2 children, but kept her own name on marriage while DC have her partner's name - are they not a family, either? Just two randos living in the same house and sharing a gas bill?

This site gets weirder every day.