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Original poster

What is the problem with the phrase 'Be Kind?'

242 replies

Fatandfifty49 · 31/12/2021 23:21

To me, it means think of others, consider their feelings. Don't be an arsehole under the guise of 'saying it how it is', 'telling the truth', 'not mincing your words.'

Largely, I think it is something very positive that has come out of the COVID pandemic and was often used in the context of how essential workers should be treated. It is absolutely a change for the better that I have personally witnessed.

It is a phrase that is used to say 'it is not OK to abuse me because you are having a bad day' and empowering for those who want to take ownership of their own wellbeing as well as that of others.

What do you all think?

OP posts:
Metabigot · 31/12/2021 23:24

I'll be kind.

But not at my own expense.

It usually means ' shut up don't make a fuss'

endofthelinefinally · 31/12/2021 23:25

I think your interpretation of the phrase is fine if that is all it means. Unfortunately it is used to mean a lot more than that in certain contexts. It is used by some to abuse and bully women, which is not alright.

mynameiscalypso · 31/12/2021 23:25

But it didn't come out of Covid at all did it? It came out of the death of Caroline Flack and pre-dates Covid.

DrWankincense · 31/12/2021 23:26

The problem is that most of the folk that spout it are far from it, except as a hash tag online.
It's a trite, patronising phrase - something you say to children when they misbehave.
There's something far wrong when you need to tell adults who should know better to be kind. It's not generally difficult to be a decent person, but becoming rarer in reality.

WorraLiberty · 31/12/2021 23:26

Generally it means stop telling the truth because I don't want to hear it.

Much the same as, "My Mum/Granny/Auntie taught me if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything".

Bollocks to that.

Mull · 31/12/2021 23:27

I agree that ‘Be Kind’ is a good thing, as long as it applies to everyone, in all circumstances. Unfortunately it seems to end up with women having to ‘be kind’ at their own expense.

Whitefire · 31/12/2021 23:27

It is a phrase that is used to say 'it is not OK for me to abuse me you because you are having a bad day said something I didn't like

It is trite and used to shut down conversations.

katienana · 31/12/2021 23:27

I think its generally a good idea to be kind when making a point but I don't like be kind being used as a way to say don't you dare criticise me. Criticism or disagreeing isn't bullying trolling or being mean.

Bouncebacker · 31/12/2021 23:27

Be Kind is often on girls t-shirts - and not often on boys - girls must be kind and meek to support to the patriarchy. Kindness v important but you can’t tell people to do it

AlDanvers · 31/12/2021 23:27

'Be kind' was about before covid.

My issues are

That it's primarily aimed at women. Usually to shut women up from expressing themselves.

Its primarily used by people who are just vulture signalling and often need to really look at their own behaviour towards others.

Its actually meaningless. What is 'be kind' because when aimed at women it usually means 'accept shit that's been thrown at you and be quiet'.

You see it in MN alot. A poster saying 'be kind' after being called out for being an arse, because they simply can't formulate a response.

I also have issues around the fact that Caroline Flack, whose post it was, was awaiting trial for DV. I can't imagine people co -opting a male celebrities last post as inspiration if they were awaiting trial for DV charges. Though I do also accept the problem of online trolls needs actual action.

userxx · 31/12/2021 23:27

@mynameiscalypso

But it didn't come out of Covid at all did it? It came out of the death of Caroline Flack and pre-dates Covid.

Correct.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 31/12/2021 23:28

It predated Flack and is usually used to mean 'shut up, put your own needs aside". Yes, we should all 'be kind' (of course) but not in the way that this phrase is currently used in social media.

ponypinkie · 31/12/2021 23:28

I think it's a helpful phrase for men.

But I don't want women to be under any more pressure than we already are to subjugate our needs and silence ourselves so men can feel validated.

lottiegarbanzo · 31/12/2021 23:28

It is commonly used to mean STFU, woman. So no, fuck off with that sentiment.

By all means waste your time going about asking men to be kind. Go on, you know you want to!

Thedogscollar · 31/12/2021 23:28

The slogan as such is not offensive as long as it is not used by bullies and arseholes to project tthemselves in a good light when they are obviously anything but kind.

Moonface123 · 31/12/2021 23:28

l think its abit over used to be honest.

Redshoeblueshoe · 31/12/2021 23:29

At this moment in time it means STFU

ISpyCobraKai · 31/12/2021 23:29

It usually means accept anything and shut up.
It's mainly said to women.
I can decide for myself how to treat people, it's not for anyone else to tell me.

Nidan2Sandan · 31/12/2021 23:30

If there is one thing I have learned during the pandemic, it's that most people are incapable of being kind.

The vitarol people who dont wear masks, or are vaccine hesitant is as far from Be Kind as you can possibly get. But they wrap it up in faux attitudes of caring more about others than the person they are verbally attacking does..

TooWicked · 31/12/2021 23:30

I thought the whole “be kind” thing came from Instagram “influencers” who didn’t like being called out on their misleading or non-disclosure of adverts, their terrible and sometimes dangerous “advice”, lack of safeguarding and privacy of their children, and their generally appalling behaviour that they post about all over their public social media.

dustandfluf · 31/12/2021 23:31

@JorisBohnson2

I'll be kind.

But not at my own expense.

It usually means ' shut up don't make a fuss'

This in buckets. I'll be kind when I want/need to. I won't be kind to arseholes.
TheEncouragingStranger · 31/12/2021 23:31

I think it is kinda becoming more of a "be a doormat" type thing... don't say anything at all that might upset someone else, even if that thing is "please could you stop your child from pulling the fence panels off my front fence". Because nobody ever knows "what's going on in someone else's life", so don't challenge anything or make requests for yourself because you should be kind to everyone else, at your own expense.

I think that to be kind you often do have to put others before yourself, but it seems that nowadays the people who mostly use the phrase "be kind" are the ones who would never put anyone else before themselves. It's more a "shut up and let me get away with this" thing.

I think, anyway!

MaryAndHerNet · 31/12/2021 23:31

The only people i've seen saying "Be Kind" are anything but.
It's often said by bullies to silence people.

Justkeeppedaling · 31/12/2021 23:31

@DrWankincense

The problem is that most of the folk that spout it are far from it, except as a hash tag online. It's a trite, patronising phrase - something you say to children when they misbehave. There's something far wrong when you need to tell adults who should know better to be kind. It's not generally difficult to be a decent person, but becoming rarer in reality.

Exactly this ^

Lacedwithgrace · 31/12/2021 23:31

Toxic positivity, you don't always have to be kind.