What is the problem with the phrase 'Be Kind?'

[Fatandfifty49]

To me, it means think of others, consider their feelings. Don't be an arsehole under the guise of 'saying it how it is', 'telling the truth', 'not mincing your words.'

Largely, I think it is something very positive that has come out of the COVID pandemic and was often used in the context of how essential workers should be treated. It is absolutely a change for the better that I have personally witnessed.

It is a phrase that is used to say 'it is not OK to abuse me because you are having a bad day' and empowering for those who want to take ownership of their own wellbeing as well as that of others.

What do you all think?

Actually being kind (without letting others take advantage of you or silence you) is good. The phrase "be kind", on the other hand, raises my hackles. Some people do use it to shut down other people's valid concerns and opinions, and my automatic emotional response to the phrase is contempt and annoyance.

(I don't associate it with Covid or "key workers" at all, fwiw.)

When I see it on men's and boys clothes in Tesco/supermarkets, as it is on women's and girls, I'll have less of a problem with it. If any sex needed to consider being kind, it isn't the female one. Lets not pretend that this wasn't, as said, another way to shut down women's opinions. It's replaced telling us to be ladylike.

Be kind is usually a rebuttal for sticking to your boundaries.

Fuck be kind.

Be fair.

Be kind AKA don’t say something I may take offence with because I take offence with many things 👌

@ponypinkie

I think it's a helpful phrase for men.

But I don't want women to be under any more pressure than we already are to subjugate our needs and silence ourselves so men can feel validated.

This!

@Couchbettato

Be kind is usually a rebuttal for sticking to your boundaries.

Fuck be kind.

Be fair.

Couldn't 'be fair' be misused in the same way?

Be self-aware would if it could be followed result in less bad behaviour.

The two family members who have shocked me with their bad manipulative triangulation and stonewalling,but they feel like the victims of me.

Be fair isn't misused in the same way though, is it.

Fairness is associated with rationality.

Kindness with femininity.

Crap huh?

I don’t think girls need any more instructions to be kind (ie: be quiet, be passive, don’t fight back) - they need to be encouraged to be strong, be independent and stand up for themselves instead.

My SIL is all over be kind but unsurprisingly doesn't practice what she preaches

The people ( who I know) who spout #bekind are normally really saying ' look at me...I'm so wonderful'

But you know, good luck in your crusade to persuade men to be kind, always. Best of luck with that OP

[quote AlDanvers]@sweetbellyhigh not all of us live in NZ

It may have been in NZ. Not in the UK. Its linked to the death of CF.
Which happened before covid. So we had 'be kind', then people a using shop workers be arsed they couldn't buy 10,000 toilet rolls or 200 boxes of beer. 'Be kind' didn't stop that.

Again, you use another phrase designed to stop people having an opinion 'you seem to have a problem with my posts'.

Why would you assume its personal, rather than an opinion on what you posted? Not personal at all. But if you can attach some other motive, other than a discussion on a discussion site, it stops people responding.[/quote]
Not all of us live in the UK either

Be the best you can be

its patronising bollocks

@AnneLovesGilbert

The Be Kind phrasing was key in pandemic management here in NZ

Great. This site and the majority of posters are in the U.K. where it wasn’t at all related to Covid. Why not ask what it means here instead of assuming everyone would know your experience in another country?

The Be Kind message is global. It is very English centric to assume it to be UK only. And I say English centric because I don't see the same arrogant posts from Scots or Welsh or NIrs.

And I think you'll find that a great deal of posters live outside of England.
Never assume...

I can’t stand the use of this phrase as a slogan. It’s twee and meaningless to me. It’s also spouted without any kind action taking place. Often by self- absorbed people.

What's really interesting in here is not only do those who disagree with the Be Kind message demonstrate intent to discredit Be Kind supporters but are also being extremely rude.

From this I think we can see that the most unpleasant people tend to dominate social media.

@spotcheck

The people ( who I know) who spout #bekind are normally really saying ' look at me...I'm so wonderful'

Yes. This as well.

@sweetbellyhigh

What's really interesting in here is not only do those who disagree with the Be Kind message demonstrate intent to discredit Be Kind supporters but are also being extremely rude.

From this I think we can see that the most unpleasant people tend to dominate social media.

Indeed. Pipe down bolshy women.

@Fatandfifty49

You ask -

Couldn't 'be fair' be misused in the same way?

No it bloody couldn't and NEVER has been as well you know otherwise you would have started a thread asking "What is the problem with the phrase 'Be Fair?'"

In fact why not put it to the test and start that thread? Bet you won't...

It’s usually parroted by people who are anything but kind or by people who want to characterise any legitimate criticism or negativity as someone being “unkind”. It’s purile social media bollocks.

My observation is the people I know in RL who use it are the exact opposite of "Be Kind". They use it either in a FB meme shared about how no one understands except them, or if someone calls them out on their unkindness.

It's empty words to me.

If someone is going to be kind, they're kind. How many people who deliberately were going to be unkind will hear it and think "oh I mustn't say that because I must be kind"? Answer is almost none. Those who do think twice probably just make sure their unkindness is only witnessed by the recipient rather than more people.

Ugh I’ve genuinely only ever seen the most unkind people use it as a slogan on their wild social media posts.

It makes me really cringe.

Oh, was I #extremelyrude ?

To think, I didn't even notice!