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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is the problem with the phrase 'Be Kind?'

242 replies

Fatandfifty49 · 31/12/2021 23:21

To me, it means think of others, consider their feelings. Don't be an arsehole under the guise of 'saying it how it is', 'telling the truth', 'not mincing your words.'

Largely, I think it is something very positive that has come out of the COVID pandemic and was often used in the context of how essential workers should be treated. It is absolutely a change for the better that I have personally witnessed.

It is a phrase that is used to say 'it is not OK to abuse me because you are having a bad day' and empowering for those who want to take ownership of their own wellbeing as well as that of others.

What do you all think?

OP posts:
SmellyOldPartridgeinaPearTree · 02/01/2022 00:13

Because it's always aimed at women. Men and boys are never expected to #bekind. It just means 'hey women and girls with opinions, shut up' well no. Can't we make #fuckoff trend for 2022?

SmellyOldPartridgeinaPearTree · 02/01/2022 00:14

@CharlotteGoldenblattYork

Alec Baldwin's wife talks a lot on Instagram about 'being kind' and has actually put up quite a long spiel tonight about 'making 2022 the year of kindness'

Was it in Spanish or...?

CharlotteGoldenblattYork · 02/01/2022 00:21

No but the youngest baby apparently now says 'hola' on the phone according to her latest story....

SquirrelG · 02/01/2022 01:10

Be Kind is not something that belongs specifically to the UK! I don't see it as being targeted especially at women, although if the cap fits etc.

I have no problem with it - I see many, many instances of people (mainly women I imagine) on MN who wouldn't know kindness if it leapt up and bit them. How is that something to aspire to?

Personally I don't want to live in a world where "be kind" is seen as a negative thing, and I agree with OP's first statement:
To me, it means think of others, consider their feelings. Don't be an arsehole under the guise of 'saying it how it is', 'telling the truth', 'not mincing your words.'

Ionlydomassiveones · 02/01/2022 01:33

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

mustbetheseasonofthebitch · 02/01/2022 01:35

Ellen Degeneris.

Butchyrestingface · 02/01/2022 01:36

@mustbetheseasonofthebitch

Ellen Degeneris.
She got taken out by Dakota Johnson in the ultimate #bekind way though. Grin
lottiegarbanzo · 02/01/2022 07:43

You're talking about people being kind or otherwise SquirrelG which is entirely different from the injunction to others to #bekind, which is the subject of this thread.

themuttsnutts · 02/01/2022 08:11

Objectively, there is nothing wrong with being kind, though. The phrase has just been hijacked by the wrong people on social media and has become a meaningless slogan. In the right context, the phrase is sound and needs to be reclaimed

lottiegarbanzo · 02/01/2022 08:21

The phrase is classic 'do as I say, not as I do'. It's sanctimonious and too often, hypocritical.

Like most people, I notice and am impressed by actions, more than words.

Turangawaewae · 02/01/2022 08:22

Another kiwi here. Here 'be kind' was part of the core messaging behind our pandemic response and I've not seen it applied to women only.

You can see Jacinda's original message - the last 30 second is where she says 'Be strong, be kind and unite against covid-19.'

At the time for me, it was about looking after each other, having patience when things didn't work as normal, and appreciating that many people were taking personal risks during the pandemic.

For me, 'be kind' has also come at a time when I have a greater understanding of my own privilege and very real impacts of colonialism. This insight has changed the way I behave.

crazyjinglist · 02/01/2022 08:58

Literally nobody is saying it's not good to be a kind person. People are objecting to 'be kind' as a slogan, and to the way it us used on social media. People saying 'But of course it's good to be kind' are totally and utterly missing the point.

This sort of behaviour-nudging movement feels like propaganda to me. Who needs a repressive government to issue diktats about how to modify your behaviour to become a good citizen when you have legions of keyboard warriors itching to do it for free?

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 02/01/2022 09:06

@Turangawaewae

Another kiwi here. Here 'be kind' was part of the core messaging behind our pandemic response and I've not seen it applied to women only.

You can see Jacinda's original message - the last 30 second is where she says 'Be strong, be kind and unite against covid-19.'

At the time for me, it was about looking after each other, having patience when things didn't work as normal, and appreciating that many people were taking personal risks during the pandemic.

For me, 'be kind' has also come at a time when I have a greater understanding of my own privilege and very real impacts of colonialism. This insight has changed the way I behave.

That's all well and wonderful but it's not the "be kind" that is discussed here. Your PM might have borrowed it, but that's different.
ChateauxNeufDePoop · 02/01/2022 09:23

@InPatagonia

- It’s the meaningless bleat of the terminally stupid. -It’s usually used by the nastiest people. -It’s a way of shutting people up by taking a perceived high ground. -It’s extremely annoying.
Pretty much this. AKA "I've been a bit of a twat but don't you dare call me out on it"
AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 02/01/2022 12:20

@SquirrelG

Be Kind is not something that belongs specifically to the UK! I don't see it as being targeted especially at women, although if the cap fits etc.

I have no problem with it - I see many, many instances of people (mainly women I imagine) on MN who wouldn't know kindness if it leapt up and bit them. How is that something to aspire to?

Personally I don't want to live in a world where "be kind" is seen as a negative thing, and I agree with OP's first statement:
To me, it means think of others, consider their feelings. Don't be an arsehole under the guise of 'saying it how it is', 'telling the truth', 'not mincing your words.'

So if I were to tell you to "be musical" or "be hyper-intelligent", or be any other desirable characteristic, you would be able simply to do it? Or would obediently do it because you were told to by a total stranger being unkind and rude enough to imply that you were being unkind?

What a meaningless diktat "be kind" is.

NotBadConsidering · 02/01/2022 12:22

Jacinda Ardern decided to #bekind to males recently, and sold women’s rights away in the process with legislation passed not too long ago, so I don’t think she’s a shining example of its true meaning.

RedToothBrush · 03/01/2022 01:18

@NotBadConsidering

Jacinda Ardern decided to #bekind to males recently, and sold women’s rights away in the process with legislation passed not too long ago, so I don’t think she’s a shining example of its true meaning.
I can't take anyone praising Ardern for being kind seriously.

I just think brains have fallen out and critical thinking has been switched off.

At least we know Johnson doesn't give a shit about women and doesn't much pretend to.

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