What is the problem with the phrase 'Be Kind?'

[Fatandfifty49]

To me, it means think of others, consider their feelings. Don't be an arsehole under the guise of 'saying it how it is', 'telling the truth', 'not mincing your words.'

Largely, I think it is something very positive that has come out of the COVID pandemic and was often used in the context of how essential workers should be treated. It is absolutely a change for the better that I have personally witnessed.

It is a phrase that is used to say 'it is not OK to abuse me because you are having a bad day' and empowering for those who want to take ownership of their own wellbeing as well as that of others.

What do you all think?

Men aren't told to be kind. Only women

There isn't a problem with the words 'Be Kind'. The problem comes with those who preach it.

Very often 'woke' or pretend woke celebs jumping on some band wagon or other.

Technically I should like it. As I think people
Should be kind to each other. But when I've only ever seen the slogan 'be kind' on one TShirt in the boys' section and about 100 T-shirts/tops in the girls' section, then it pisses me off!

@risefromyourgrave

A better slogan would be ‘Don’t be a dick’, kindness isn’t always the best policy.

100% this.

It applies to men too.

Be kind is 'women know your place and don't be difficult'

It never encourages mutual respect. It instead instructs behaviour to follow orders.

I will stick to mutual respect, and if that doesn't happen, then i reserve the right to kick back if needed for my own protection and for my own interests.

Be kind = Be someone else's doormat.

No. Just no.

Because usually the person asking you to be kind to them is being very unkind to you, but wants you to shut up & let them have their way.

It oppresses women and usually is used to negate their boundaries by CFs who are anything but ‘kind’. Ugh. I hate it.

Do you think it is effective to say to a child Be Kind?

No, you say what behaviour is a problem and why. Adults are really not that different, forget the meaningless and lazy slogans, get your point across by articulating what you actually mean.

‘Be kind ‘ ?

Euphemism for “Be quiet “

It is not unkind to fail to facilitate others at my own expense.

It is not unkind to expect vulnerable women and girls to be protected , and not to lose access to hard worn opportunities in the name of ‘being kind’

Fuck being kind . Be respectful ? Sure . Be tolerant ? Absolutely . But kind ? That just means roll over and accept what’s coming to you without a fight or even a protest . Well no .

@JustKeepSwimmingJust

Because it became popular as the final words of a person who was unhappy with being criticised for hitting their partner over the head with a bedside lamp.

What a callous post.

I agree with the poster above - it is something that is often said to women but is rarely said to men. In general, I think we should all be kind to each other, but when it is only said to women it reinforces gender stereo types and suggests the female sex should become door mats.

It's usually criticised by bigots who don't like having their bigotry and doom-mongering pointed out to them.

Social change had not happened because of people being kind. Social change is needed as those with the power are not kind. It's often used as a tool of oppression now having been adopted widely by activists who want to dismantle women's rights. It's used as a bullying term so although the be kind to each to each sentiment is good this is not what this phrase now achieves.

@Wreath21

It's usually criticised by bigots who don't like having their bigotry and doom-mongering pointed out to them.

Keep telling yourself that.

Last Christmas when we were in Tier 4 throughout the UK, a number of instagrammers and Z List celebrities broke rules and went off to Dubai on holiday.

They were, quite rightly, pulled up on the blatant lawbreaking by many followers on Instagram.

They all kept banging on and on about how people should 'Be Kind'

As others have said on here, the type of person who says 'be kind' is usually a bully or gobshite themselves and thinks they can dictate that others 'be kind' to them whilst still saying/doing as they please.

And yes, it's always women that are expected to be kind, and lovely, and not make a fuss about anything.

@Wreath21

It's usually criticised by bigots who don't like having their bigotry and doom-mongering pointed out to them.

I was told to ‘be kind’ when discussing very female issues like miscarriage. Because it would be painful for those who can’t have kids. At least I ‘had kids’.

I will not be kind when someone tells me I cannot talk about my pain or grief or fears lest someone become offended.

Fuck be kind.

There's a world of difference between letting someone know that their behaviour towards you is unacceptable and telling them to be anything.

Boundaries. Using be kind at women is massively crossing one.

@DrWankincense / totally agree

Agree! I know many very kind and compassionate people who've never used this phrase in their SM. The ones who do use it might have many positive qualities but kindness most definitely isn't one of them.

I put 'be kind' in the same category as 'smile'
or cheer up.'
It's usually said by people who think they have a right to tell others how to behave. And they would never say it to a man.

I don't think being kind is a very sustainable state. It's a giving emotion where you go the extra mile. It's very welcome and laudable and I think it's an important approach to consider when people test you or you see suffering.
I don't like that it's become 'kindness' to not be rude or abusive. Your NHS worker for example, it's not kindness to be appropriate to them, it's common decency. I think it's more important to be respectful to others. It's a fair and decent way of operating that doesn't coerce you to give more if yourself/prevent disagreement/lack boundaries. It's a sustainable baseline attitude to others that should really be a bare minimum.
If not trolling/abusing/bullying is "kindness' then it feels like something over and above bestowed on others as an almost gift. I don't want to live in that world.
I think being brave is often more important than being kind and we never tell girls that.

I also have issues around the fact that Caroline Flack, whose post it was, was awaiting trial for DV. I can't imagine people co -opting a male celebrities last post as inspiration if they were awaiting trial for DV charges. Though I do also accept the problem of online trolls needs actual action.

I've always said that I have an issue about the fact it derived from a woman accused of committing DV.

Often the response I've had from people in RL is to just "be kind" as we don't know what she was going through that night.

Very few will even discuss if that was a male no one would be taking the same stance.

I'm very pro woman's rights. But I'm also very realistic we can't bring men down to raise up woman. We have to raise woman up to where men are in society and that means equal rights means equal expectations.

So I absolutely agree in principle with the statement "just be kind".

But I really don't like the way it's used by a large part of society to silence others opinions.

I only know one person who uses this phrase. She says it to shut down criticism and try and silence perspectives that she doesn’t want to hear. It rarely seems to mean ‘be kind’, more just ‘be quiet’.

I fund it childish. It’s the motto of nurseries and primary schools, such as the one Prince George and Princess Charlotte attend.

I hate the phrase TAKE CARE.

The only people I see using "be kind" are the ones who are anything but kind.
Genuinely kind people don't advertise it, they just are. Those who use this phrase, as far as I've seen are, rude, self riotous (sp?), racist, angry, Sebastian and so far up their own backside they can see daylight.
Unsurprisingly many of these people I know are God fearing Christians. The irony