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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not letting my 17yo go out for NYE?

205 replies

Icelandiaa · 31/12/2021 17:47

He wants to go to his mates. But we don't drive so can't pick him up.

He said he will be home about 1am. But I don't want him out at 1am.

I doubt there will be taxis available and he's definitely not walking home.

He's 17 though (just turned days ago)

AIBU to not let him?

OP posts:
Offmyfence · 31/12/2021 18:39

Poor lad! Yabvu

Cici22 · 31/12/2021 18:41

I think you are being over protective. He has to learn these things someday. Just let him go, and he'll have to deal with this own actions and figure out how to get home xx

SazCat · 31/12/2021 18:41

On the NYE I was 17, I was out with mates at a local club (granted it was easier to get in without ID in the 90s) and would get a taxi back at 2am ish.

My parents did drive, but wouldn't be able to come out early hours anyway as they would have both had a drink at home! Not sure what the difference is there to OP not being able to drive/having a car in this situation??

Atla · 31/12/2021 18:42

YABU

Janeandjohnny · 31/12/2021 18:46

If the OP cant drive (and they have given their reason for that above which I appreciate and apologise for any upset) then I think they should facilitate their kid to socialise. So apologies if I appeared goady, not my intention. But the lad should be able to socialise with a bit of planning- staying over/ pre- booking taxi etc. I think the thread is less about the control of the boy and more about the lack of availability of transport. I would not be keen on him walking home tho so hopefully he can find a way.

Rosebel · 31/12/2021 18:46

I'm glad you let him go and he's staying over. I wouldn't be happy with my teenagers walking that far when it's dark, they've been drinking and several other drunken people will be about.
I had to laugh at the idea of him getting a taxi. On New Years Eve there will be no chance unless he booked it 4 months ago.

WonderfulYou · 31/12/2021 18:47

Has he got money on him?

There will probably be taxis but they’ll take a lot longer and be a lot more money if ge decides not to stay at his mates.

Knackeredmommy · 31/12/2021 18:47

I'm glad he's staying over, I was thinking if he was home at 1, he'd be leaving pretty much straight after midnight!

Janeandjohnny · 31/12/2021 18:48

@WorraLiberty calm down now!!! -no need for all the tangents in one post Smile
I acknowledged my mistake.

DisforDarkChocolate · 31/12/2021 18:50

He's 17, I'm baffled that you think you can stop him. Or that you should.

elelel · 31/12/2021 18:51

@ToykotoLosAngeles

He could be at uni in 18 months and then you'll no idea what he's up to!

I usually understand the 'he will be at uni' logic but 18 months is a world away for a 17 year old. They have a lot of maturing and developing going on in 18 months!

ufucoffee · 31/12/2021 18:52

At 17 I was working full time and going drinking and clubbing. He's not a baby. Let him go for goodness sake.

ufucoffee · 31/12/2021 18:53

Sorry, I posted before reading your responses OP

qualitygirl · 31/12/2021 18:54

What can't he walk home @Icelandiaa ?

liveforsummer · 31/12/2021 18:54

In Scotland it's very normal for 17 year olds to be at uni. Some even go at 16

isitfree · 31/12/2021 18:55

Of course you are worried, its New Years Eve when many people will get drunk and do stupid things. I too would be worried about him walking home. Too many young lads have been hurt by others in the past few years. The problem is if you do not allow him to go he will resent it. Some people on mumsnet are so judgemental. If it was a girl they all would shout NO WAY but he is still only a young lad.

loveinthe90s · 31/12/2021 18:55

I know you said he's staying at his mates, but why could he not get an Uber home? We order them for my 15 year old if she's out and we're unable to collect her.

Am assuming you're somewhere with Uber as you said public transport where you live is good.

All teens have Uber now don't they? Certainly in London they do.

onedayiwillflyaway1 · 31/12/2021 18:58

You are being unreasonable stopping him. But not unreasonable worrying. Im on my last teenager out of four they are hardtimes.

Silverswirl · 31/12/2021 19:02

I wouldn’t want him walking home at 1am for 4 miles drunk. I wouldn’t be keen on my DH doing that either really. Too many weirdos and blokes out for a drunken fight.
I think it would have to be a taxi pre booked or lift with someone else.

WorraLiberty · 31/12/2021 19:03

[quote Janeandjohnny]@WorraLiberty calm down now!!! -no need for all the tangents in one post Smile
I acknowledged my mistake.[/quote]
Ok Michael Winner Wink

Ylvamoon · 31/12/2021 19:07

Let him go! My 17yo is a 45 minute train ride away (& staying over with friends)... no chance of picking up either!
It's a learning curve for both of us!

CheesecakeAddict · 31/12/2021 19:09

It's going to be rife with doormen checking IDs. I would be more afraid that the ones who have reached 18 will abandon him if he does get denied entry.

RickJames · 31/12/2021 19:10

Good choice, letting him out. I had to move 2000km to get my bossy parents out of my hair, im sure you don't want to be THAT parent Grin

BobbieT1999 · 31/12/2021 19:12

Honestly OP I'd do everything I could to accommodate his request, it's NYE, he's 17, and he's being so reasonable to say he'll be home by 1am.

Some of the best parties I went to were at this age!

WorraLiberty · 31/12/2021 19:12

@CheesecakeAddict

It's going to be rife with doormen checking IDs. I would be more afraid that the ones who have reached 18 will abandon him if he does get denied entry.
Blimey, that's a very well organised mate's house you're describing there Xmas Grin