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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not letting my 17yo go out for NYE?

205 replies

Icelandiaa · 31/12/2021 17:47

He wants to go to his mates. But we don't drive so can't pick him up.

He said he will be home about 1am. But I don't want him out at 1am.

I doubt there will be taxis available and he's definitely not walking home.

He's 17 though (just turned days ago)

AIBU to not let him?

OP posts:
Original poster
Icelandiaa · 31/12/2021 18:14

@Janeandjohnny

He is paying the price for neither of you being able to drive. Thats just nuts. What if there was an emergency or you needed to collect him early if he waa drunk etc? Get some driving lessons and facilitate him becoming an adult. Maddest thread today this.
Seriously? You think it's mad that people don't drive?

We both have medical conditions that make it illegal for us to drive. You should think before you post.

Even if we didn't. And it was a choice, it's hardly 'mad' not to drive when there is so much public transport around 99% of the year!

OP posts:
Midlifemusings · 31/12/2021 18:14

I would be more worried about them walking back in a group if drunk in the wee hours of the morning. That is an accident waiting to happen.

I would have no issue with him going but they either stay over or taxi home or get a drive from another parent.

backoncemore83 · 31/12/2021 18:15

@19lottie82

YABU he’s old enough to father a child and / or join the army.

Unless there’s a massive backstory you’re not telling us, let the lad go to the party!

Yes, I agree with this...let the poor lad go to
The party

Newbeginnings2022 · 31/12/2021 18:16

Get Uber app on his phone

Mummytotwonow · 31/12/2021 18:16

Pls let him go he’s an adult. Teens have had it rough too and god everyone needs a bit of fun after these last two years!

Mummytotwonow · 31/12/2021 18:17

Sorry if I’ve missed it - I haven’t read full thread. Can’t he crash over or at a mates?

halcyondays · 31/12/2021 18:17

Prebook a taxi? What’s wrong with a 17 year old being out until 1?

Original poster
Icelandiaa · 31/12/2021 18:19

@Mummytotwonow

Sorry if I’ve missed it - I haven’t read full thread. Can’t he crash over or at a mates?
Yes. He's talked to his mate and is staying over now.
OP posts:
AuntieStella · 31/12/2021 18:19

@Icelandiaa

OK. Fair enough.

He's gone. He's staying over.

Good outcome

Two of mine are staying out, and it is safer than weaving back drink in the wee small hours

Dodgyveneers · 31/12/2021 18:20

@halcyondays

Prebook a taxi? What’s wrong with a 17 year old being out until 1?
Crazy I know- but on NYE it’s quite hard to get one unless pre booked. Hmm
1forAll74 · 31/12/2021 18:21

Let him be allowed to go out, and come home late. If you deem him to be a somewhat sensible 17 year old. I am sure he will have fun with his friends, dont spoil it.

WorraLiberty · 31/12/2021 18:21

@Janeandjohnny

He is paying the price for neither of you being able to drive. Thats just nuts. What if there was an emergency or you needed to collect him early if he waa drunk etc? Get some driving lessons and facilitate him becoming an adult. Maddest thread today this.
Actually I think this is the maddest comment today and believe me, there's been some hot contenders.

So every adult who has a child needs to own a bloody car 'just in case'? Regardless of whether they're able to actually develop the necessary skills to keep themselves and others alive on the roads, and regardless of their income? What are some people supposed to do? Visit foodbanks to feed their families every day of the week, as long they can keep a car on the drive 'just incase'?

No wonder the environment is fucked and there's so many shit drivers on the roads.

LostForIdeas · 31/12/2021 18:22

Same age for my dcs here.

They are going out.
One is sleeping at friends. All on the floor as usual.
The other will walk back home.

I wouldn’t have an issue, esp if they are walking back together tbh.

RedCandyApple · 31/12/2021 18:23

@Janeandjohnny

He is paying the price for neither of you being able to drive. Thats just nuts. What if there was an emergency or you needed to collect him early if he waa drunk etc? Get some driving lessons and facilitate him becoming an adult. Maddest thread today this.
Shock
HadEnoughOfBears · 31/12/2021 18:24

@GnomeyGnome

You are not unreasonable to worry, you are unreasonable to stop him. He'll be an adult next year, time to let him start making decisions.
Absolutely this.

My eldest DD will still be 17 when she leaves home & goes to uni in September.

ruthydoodles24f · 31/12/2021 18:25

@Janeandjohnny

He is paying the price for neither of you being able to drive. Thats just nuts. What if there was an emergency or you needed to collect him early if he waa drunk etc? Get some driving lessons and facilitate him becoming an adult. Maddest thread today this.
Not everyone wants to drive 🙄 a little judgy there
ForTheLoveOfSleep · 31/12/2021 18:27

@Janeandjohnny

He is paying the price for neither of you being able to drive. Thats just nuts. What if there was an emergency or you needed to collect him early if he waa drunk etc? Get some driving lessons and facilitate him becoming an adult. Maddest thread today this.
And what of those who can drive but can't afford a car? Most ignorant thread today this.
Lolamento · 31/12/2021 18:29

Let him go but make sure you arrange a way back or a safe place to stay until tomorrow. I know it is not you controlling but worrying.

Rno3gfr · 31/12/2021 18:34

I don’t really understand the problem. I would have ignored you and gone anyway if I was 17

Pr1mr0se · 31/12/2021 18:34

Why not ensure he has taxi numbers on his phone before he leaves the house.

OwlSoup · 31/12/2021 18:35

Providing he can get a taxi back, Id be ok with 1am. Can you sort the taxi with him now so you know it's booked?

Oh and to the posters calling you 'controlling.' It's called parenting and it doesn't stop aged 17.

CatCup · 31/12/2021 18:35

YANBU. He either needs to arrange to stay over, or arrange a lift home.

Rno3gfr · 31/12/2021 18:36

@Janeandjohnny it’s unreasonable to judge the parents for not driving. I have a 3 year old and I can’t drive because I can’t afford the lessons. Are you going to help pay for mine with your judgement? No.

thefirstmrsrochester · 31/12/2021 18:36

Aw that’s good it’s been sorted. Can’t say that I’d have been entirely happy about a group of lads walking home in the dead of night after a party, I’d be frightened of drunken arsing around leading to trouble. Hope he has a good time at the party and a happy NY to you as well OP.

romany4 · 31/12/2021 18:38

YABVU. He's 17!!

If I'd told my sons at 17 that they couldn't go out, they'd have laughed in my face. And then gone out