Not letting my 17yo go out for NYE?

[Icelandiaa]

He wants to go to his mates. But we don't drive so can't pick him up.

He said he will be home about 1am. But I don't want him out at 1am.

I doubt there will be taxis available and he's definitely not walking home.

He's 17 though (just turned days ago)

AIBU to not let him?

Yabu, let him enjoy nye with his mates , they’ll work something out regarding getting home and please don’t tell him not to drink either.

Yabu. Its not unreasonable to voice your concerns to him, but you are if you try to stop him because of them.

What in particular are you worried about?
If not at 17 years old, when will he be old enough to have a social life that isn't curtailed by you?

My parents were hugely strict like this when I was that age. I went massively off the rails when I went to university (sleeping in car parks, lots of casual sex, spending all my money on alcohol). Give him some freedom!

Why can't he walk back with his mates? As someone else said, can he bring a mate back to stay if no one lives near you?

I'd pay for a taxi IF you can book one. Taxis around here probably wouldn't pick them up though.

I'd be a bit wary IF it's country roads as they're likely not to be being sensible & lots of people still drink/drive.

Reality check needed though, if they're walking, there's no way they'll be back at 1am If they see the New Year in at his mates house.

I think the mates parents should have made arrangements for them all to stay.

YABVvvvU

MN at its finest! On one hand they are not developed until they are 40 25 and should be treated as such but fine to get rat arsed at 17 on NYE.
For what it's worth I agree he should go but book a taxi or arrange a lift with a mate..I remember picking up DD on NYE... just loving the MN replies

My 17 year old is off to a friend's, with a bottle. She's told me it will probably be about 3ish when she's home. I've asked her to arrange a text check in for getting home with her friends.

YABVU he's old enough now, this time next year he will be out on the razz, unless there's something that makes him especially vulnerable, he can walk home or stay at a friends.

I dread to think what I was up to on NYE when I was 17, it probably involved a bonfire and booze

How would he normally get back from places if neither of you drive??

At 17 I really don't think you have much say. By that age I had my own car and was taking myself wherever I pleased (but would be in this situation on nye as I'd have a drink) I'd stay at fiends or they'd stay at mine. Maybe walk, maybe get a lift or wait hours in the cold for a taxi as never the sense to pre book. Not sure where the issue is

He is 17 Let him have his fun. Pre book a taxi. He will remember that you were willing to trust him and will be more inclined to be honest with you. Do you want him to go behind your back or lie to you next time there is a party.

I understand your anxiety but in my experience imposing curfews etc with young adults just drives a wedge between you both as they get older. Friends are EVERYTHING at that age so give him money for a taxi if you can and tell him you so much want him to enjoy himself so will TRUST him to be as sensible as possible ie not getting dangerously plastered and staggering around on a road. Tell him how much you respect his need to join in with friends and say 1am is acceptable as long as he keeps to it which you know he will. If you don't support him in young adulthood he is unlikely to be able to handle the increasing demands and pressures.

Yabu. At his age I was a year away from living independently. I find the conceit of not 'letting' a 17 year old do something weird. 17!!!

He could be at uni in 18 months and then you'll no idea what he's up to!

'Concept' that should've said.

13 and I'd understand but not 17.

My 17 year old is going out but staying at a friends
I wouldn't stop them tbh but obviously give the obligatory warning of don't drink too much if you are walking that 4 miles home 🙄

@TheCanyon

There was at least 3 miles each between the 5 villages me and my friends lived in during our teens, we spent a lot of time walking home/each others during the night. I don't think any of our parents knew where we were staying or coming home either tbh

Let him go to his mates.

Similar here. We'd regularly disappear from home on a Friday and rock back up on a Sunday depending where we were going and who's house staying at. Controlling a 17 year old is baffling to me

I've walked 6.5miles back from the pub. In winter. With mates. Yes it was cold and long, but was worth it!!

He is paying the price for neither of you being able to drive. Thats just nuts. What if there was an emergency or you needed to collect him early if he waa drunk etc? Get some driving lessons and facilitate him becoming an adult. Maddest thread today this.

OK. Fair enough.

He's gone. He's staying over.

I have DS same age, I'd reluctantly allow it but I'd be booking a taxi. My DS also on ADHD and ASD spectrum so I'd be worried sick but I believe it's important to allow them to grow and flourish. Controlled children will only do as they wish in the end but without honest with the parents

I used to walk loads further than that sometimes later than 1am at that age. Yes I lived in a very safe area but I think YABVU.

Best new year I had was when I was 15 and my 17 year old brother let me go with his friends and him to a party, my dad gave me a bottle of baby Cham and told me not to drink it all 😂 we wandered home at 8am, had a great night, no carry on, just good fun. He’s only young once, don’t be a misery arse