To dread the return of my 3 year old Dd…

[Breastfeedingworries]

She’s due back in just over 5 minutes. I can barely stand, I’m so dizzy with flu, my throats on fire, I ache all over and I’m cripplingly tired.

Her dad was poorly and passed it on to her Xmas Eve unknown to me (obviously isn’t his fault and isn’t Covid) but I’ve now caught it from her so at least she’s immune. However! Last night I nearly hit her with a hair brush! I feel so unstable and poorly and I have no help. I obviously love my dd and do not want to hurt her but I feel that poorly I have zero tolerance.

Que her making messes, throwing food refusing to go to bed until after 9 last night.

No idea what to do, not sure how long I will be this poorly for and I have no help. Friends wouldn’t step in as no one would want to catch it.

Is there anything out there for support? A number I can call. I obviously would never hurt her but the level of sickness I feel bed bound poorly. Any advice appreciated it.

Op been there with vomiting bug. Kids ate sandwiches, cereal and crisps for a week as couldn't cope with any cooking smells or stand for more than 5 mins

@Breastfeedingworries

I’m trying to drink but it hurts so much to swallow, haven’t managed to eat anything b it few spoonfuls of soup. I just hope I get sleep soon. Dd is being good, house is trashed tho, gifts everywhere and total chaos but I can fix all that when better. I’m dizzy when walking so mainly trying to lay down.

Soup is good. And water and squash are important or you'll end up dehydrated and that really doesn't help.

Nothing much matters right now except you getting sleep and getting better. Everything else is a distraction, really.

I am well-wishing you from afar -- wishing well in both senses!

I'm so glad the majority of the responses are full of support and positivity. Helps and gives confidence to any mum struggling to reach out for help.
Op being ill with children is the absolute worst especially if it's something vile like flu. Easy quick food lots of tv to keep dd occupied and try to rest where you can. Hope you will feel better soon 💐

OP,
Please ring your Health Visitor and ask her to call - she can give you useful advice/suggestions/support.

Thoughts are not actions. Nothing OP has said is of any concern to me professionally (ex CP SW) it’s very very normal to have these types of thoughts especially when under great amounts of stress/upset, in this case being very ill with a 3 year old. Let’s be real we all know how 3 year olds are 99% of the time, I wanted to chuck mine out of the window most days at that stage!

OP you had a fleeting thought managed to pull back and remove yourself to have a breather, well done that’s not easy it’s really not. You did absolutely the right thing, it’s so very hard to be so desperately poorly with such a small child you’re doing so well. Remember to do whatever makes your life easier right now, no need for set mealtimes or healthy foods etc. Order some takeaways, leave the TV on all the time and just rest as much as possible. Keep hydrated and order some painkillers for just in case. This will pass don’t worry.

OP, maybe call your sister and give her a bit of advance warning? At least then you know you've got back up you can call if you really need it.

Thank you to @Breastfeedingworries and the many posters backing her up. You've helped me realise that my fleeting intrusive thoughts are common and normal. This has made such a difference to me. Thank you.

Hope you feel better soon

How are you @Breastfeedingworries?

I hope you are feeling a bit better.

Don't worry about the house.

Keep both of you safe, that's all.

When you are so unwell, it is about survival.

An update, turns out I may have strep throat not flu, all the symptoms like I haven’t got cough etc. my throat is so painful no pain killers are touching it and it hasn’t let up. I haven’t eaten, can barely drink. Everywhere aches.

Luckily! A friend come to the recuse, firstly offering for few hours then said over night! I’m so pleased about that.

I’m not being able to sleep because of the pain but I am able to lay down at least.

Phone appointment with doctor, they can call anytime tho so have to keep my phone close. Fingers crossed I can get some medicine, let untreated isn’t good.

Hope you’re all well! I’m so gutted about new year but ah well life happens.

@Torturedsoul

Thank you to *@Breastfeedingworries* and the many posters backing her up. You've helped me realise that my fleeting intrusive thoughts are common and normal. This has made such a difference to me. Thank you.

Hope you feel better soon

I honestly felt so guilty about mine, just couldn’t manage to care for her. Comfort yourself that these are rare moments and we haven’t acted on them. My dd emptied all of her draws book shelf’s, so mess everywhere, broke things off my dercorations, caused chaos.

It’s just been a nightmare, I’m glad I ended up having support. I was in a heap crying when my friend found me with cheesecake smeared in my hair all over the walls.

But you didn't hit her because you're the adult and despite a shit situation you behaved like an adult. Do anything that makes life easier for you as an interim measure.Feed her wotsits in front of cbeebies, be kind to yourself as every hour is an hour closer to recovery. Maybe sign up for homestart in case you need support in the future.

You have super friends OP!

And intrusive thoughts are a real thing that effect many people. It's just scarier when you are a parent as you have the added feeling of being appalled that you could even think such things about children you love.