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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To dread the return of my 3 year old Dd…

213 replies

Breastfeedingworries · 29/12/2021 15:31

She’s due back in just over 5 minutes. I can barely stand, I’m so dizzy with flu, my throats on fire, I ache all over and I’m cripplingly tired.

Her dad was poorly and passed it on to her Xmas Eve unknown to me (obviously isn’t his fault and isn’t Covid) but I’ve now caught it from her so at least she’s immune. However! Last night I nearly hit her with a hair brush! I feel so unstable and poorly and I have no help. I obviously love my dd and do not want to hurt her but I feel that poorly I have zero tolerance.

Que her making messes, throwing food refusing to go to bed until after 9 last night.

No idea what to do, not sure how long I will be this poorly for and I have no help. Friends wouldn’t step in as no one would want to catch it.

Is there anything out there for support? A number I can call. I obviously would never hurt her but the level of sickness I feel bed bound poorly. Any advice appreciated it.

OP posts:
SlashBeef · 29/12/2021 15:51

And ignore the posters that will hang on to your hairbrush comment and try to portray you as a psychopath.
Anyone that says they've never had intrusive thoughts when utterly stressed out is a big fat liar.

Honeygoldcaramel · 29/12/2021 15:51

I have kicked my DS away from me, screamed SHUT UP, slapped him and shoved him.

In my head. All fleeting thoughts that come and go.

YANBU, op.

refraction · 29/12/2021 15:51

[quote Pumperthepumper]@thedarkling yet.[/quote]
Oh come on.Hmm

stalkersaga · 29/12/2021 15:51

It's really not at all surprising that somebody whose body is screaming at them to be selfish and rest and conserve energies might think about lashing out when having to care for a 3yo who is playing up. It doesn't demonstrate anything about OP except that a) she's really unwell physically and b) she still had the love and self control to make sure she didn't lash out.

Hang in there OP. Dose yourself up with paracetamol/OTC meds, relax all screen time and food restrictions until you're better.

Chakraleaf · 29/12/2021 15:52

Do what everyone else to do. Survive till it is better.

refraction · 29/12/2021 15:52

@SlashBeef

And ignore the posters that will hang on to your hairbrush comment and try to portray you as a psychopath. Anyone that says they've never had intrusive thoughts when utterly stressed out is a big fat liar.
I get them when not stressed too.Blush
thedarkling · 29/12/2021 15:53

[quote Pumperthepumper]@thedarkling yet.[/quote]
But the same could be said of all of us, surely.

Original poster
Breastfeedingworries · 29/12/2021 15:53

Thanks all, I just so wish her dad was having her but nothing I can do about that. Thanks suggestion for bath, she’s eating some crisps with film (luckily she sits and loves watching whole Disney films) then think I’ll do easy tea like cheese toastie and fruit.

Just hope she goes to bed early.

OP posts:
SlashBeef · 29/12/2021 15:53

@Honeygoldcaramel

I have kicked my DS away from me, screamed SHUT UP, slapped him and shoved him.

In my head. All fleeting thoughts that come and go.

YANBU, op.

Yup. I've left my kids in the house alone and driven away forever.
thedarkling · 29/12/2021 15:54

@Breastfeedingworries

Thanks all, I just so wish her dad was having her but nothing I can do about that. Thanks suggestion for bath, she’s eating some crisps with film (luckily she sits and loves watching whole Disney films) then think I’ll do easy tea like cheese toastie and fruit.

Just hope she goes to bed early.

Good luck and get well soon
Pumperthepumper · 29/12/2021 15:54

@Breastfeedingworries

Thanks all, I just so wish her dad was having her but nothing I can do about that. Thanks suggestion for bath, she’s eating some crisps with film (luckily she sits and loves watching whole Disney films) then think I’ll do easy tea like cheese toastie and fruit.

Just hope she goes to bed early.

I think if you were honest with her dad and said you’d considered hitting her with a hairbrush, he’d magic up some time.
stalkersaga · 29/12/2021 15:55

I get them when not stressed too.

But you don't act on them. All of us get occasional fleeting thoughts of doing terrible things. They don't mean anything. If you could be tried for your thoughts, every human being on earth would be in jail for life.

Honeygoldcaramel · 29/12/2021 15:55

Oh, me too @SlashBeef.

sadpapercourtesan · 29/12/2021 15:56

She didn't "consider" hitting her with a hairbrush ffs. She was brushing the child's hair, the child was behaving like a deranged honey badger (which they all are, it's Christmas) and she had a momentary, fleeting flash of rage. It's normal. If she'd hit her, I'd be appalled. But she didn't.

Honeygoldcaramel · 29/12/2021 15:56

Oh behave @Pumperthepumper, she didn’t ‘consider’ it at all. She felt like it, fleetingly.

Pumperthepumper · 29/12/2021 15:57

No, she said she ‘nearly’ hit her.

stalkersaga · 29/12/2021 15:57

Oh for Christ's sake lay off, @pumperthepumper. Go and report your best friend with kids to SS instead, because I guarantee she's had thoughts of hitting or walking out on her kids at some point.

BishopBrennansArse · 29/12/2021 15:58

I nearly became a serial killer, pumper.

Get a grip.

rrhuth · 29/12/2021 15:59

[quote Pumperthepumper]@thedarkling yet.[/quote]
Just stop it @Pumperthepumper

Troublesometooth · 29/12/2021 15:59

I’ve been really poorly with a similar virus and have several times had visions of smacking my children in the face just to get them to go away.

I absolutely wouldn’t act on it, but I’m so poorly I just can’t tolerate them whinging, screaming in my face and climbing on me.

Just try and rest as much as possible, let her watch lots of TV and try to take yourself away if you feel yourself getting short with her.

PinkWaferBiscuit · 29/12/2021 15:59

@Pumperthepumper

No, she said she ‘nearly’ hit her.
Look you must know that you're adding absolutely nothing of value in the way of support to this thread so why continue to post, knowing all you're doing is making an already stressed out sick mum feel even worse?

OP we've all been there and as others have said if you say otherwise you're absolutely lying. If she's content with crisps and a film then use that time to rest and mainline coffee to get you to bedtime. Fingers crossed she goes to sleep quickly and easily. Smile

Pumperthepumper · 29/12/2021 16:00

@stalkersaga

Oh for Christ's sake lay off, *@pumperthepumper*. Go and report your best friend with kids to SS instead, because I guarantee she's had thoughts of hitting or walking out on her kids at some point.
With a hairbrush? I absolutely would if my friend said they were struggling so much they’d nearly hit their child with a hairbrush. That’s a person who needs help, not normalised.
sadpapercourtesan · 29/12/2021 16:02

I guarantee you SS would not respond favourably to your reporting someone for thought crime. Get a grip, fgs.

SafeMove · 29/12/2021 16:02

@Pumperthepumper is this making you feel better about yourself? Being nasty and incessantly questioning someones intentions when they are having a rough spell doesn't portray you and your personality in a great light tbh.

rrhuth · 29/12/2021 16:02

For @Pumperthepumper - educate yourself:

www.derbyshirehealthcareft.nhs.uk/perinatal/patients/worrying-intrusive-thoughts

Research has shown that the majority of people experience intrusive thoughts, usually about things which are important to them.

Remember having thoughts is not the same as doing something,try not to confuse thoughts with actions

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