Not sure anting Dh to go to New Years party

[winkyl]

We hosted Xmas for PIL and SIL families. SIL left already bit PIL are leaving tomorrow. This morning Dh told me that he has been invited to a house party on New Year's Eve. I was thinking we would have relaxed home party as a family after hosting Xmas. AIBU want to him stay with us?

The staying out all night is really out of order. Why would you do that if you’d just gone to the cinema? What cinemas are open much later than about 11 anyway?

It sounds like he is behaving like a single man. I'm afraid I don't buy his excuses at all. He is insulting you by expecting you to believe his excuses. It sounds like there is something esle going on.

@BluebellsGreenbells

OR maybe he also had a rough time with his parents - I mean who wants them there all week, OP choose to relax, DO chooses to blow off the cobwebs with a boozy night out.

I know which I’d choose.

OP hasn't been given a choice.

@winkyl

Omg the situation developed. Last night he went to late night show in the movies with his other colleague. I woke up at four and no sign of him. I tried to call him but his phone wasn't connecting. Texts seemed to get through but no answer. I went to bed and got up at seven after bad sleep. I was wondering what an earth to do because this was so out of character for him. I was wondering should I call the police because I was afraid he had been mugged. Anyway decided to have coffee first and then text came through that he had some drinks afterwards and missed the last bus. He slept on college's sofa. He came home soon after.

He'd have come home to a double-locked door if he was my husband!

@winkyl

He is planning to go to the party tonight. Well next year after Xmas I will go to my home country and have a party with my friends there. He can stay here and cater his family. I was thinking flying home after Xmas when it came apparent that PIL will stay longer. Only the covid testing mess stopped me.

So how will the next year be before you get to next Christmas?

Oh dear. It’s all pointing to an affair. I’m so sorry OP.

He's clearly up to no good.

@pictish

I’ll be accused of being a ‘cool wife’ but if he wants to go, then he should. He’s an adult. You’re not joined at the hip. He wants to catch up with people he hasn’t seen for ages. You didn’t get an invite because it’s old work friends and you don’t factor in that. None of my colleagues invite dh along to stuff they invite me to. You can still have your relaxing evening, nice food, good viewing. No point making him stay under duress, you won’t enjoy his company and he’ll resent having to be there. Wave him off and take the time back for yourself on another occasion.

That’s how I’d go about. I appreciate its not going to be a popular opinion but there you have it.

I totally agree with this

I think you should read the OP's updates @Crazycrazylady. He is sounding dodgier with every post.

I don't really know what to think. These two days has been so out of character. He was telling me we can do what ever i want tomorrow and that we go to my home country in Easter. Maybe he just really wanted to go to that party. Or maybe there is an ow. I will keep eye on and if movie nights are getting too frequent or he is glued to his iPhone there could be something else.

OP I would just ask him outright if there's someone else tbh

Take your kids to your home country in February and on 23 Dec next year, let DH host his own bloody parents.

No more hosting.
No more cooking
No more cleaning

Tell him if he goes to that party to not come back. And mean it. Grow a backbone. You deserve better than this shite.

He is behaving appallingly.

I would be very suspicious of his behaviour.

Have you copies of all financials?

If not, get a copy and keep them somewhere safe.

He is behaving very suspiciously.

Step back from doing anything that makes his life easier.

I hope you work OP.

@KiloWhat

OP I would just ask him outright if there's someone else tbh

How many cheating men would tell you if there was?

This

Any update this morning OP?