Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not sure anting Dh to go to New Years party

217 replies

winkyl · 28/12/2021 10:43

We hosted Xmas for PIL and SIL families. SIL left already bit PIL are leaving tomorrow. This morning Dh told me that he has been invited to a house party on New Year's Eve. I was thinking we would have relaxed home party as a family after hosting Xmas. AIBU want to him stay with us?

OP posts:
toomuchlaundry · 28/12/2021 11:01

Do you have children?

Is he good friend’s with the party host?

Orchidflower1 · 28/12/2021 11:01

I wouldn’t want him to go to something that excludes the rest of the family. It’s selfish for him to go.

mygenericusername · 28/12/2021 11:02

Are you sure you aren’t invited?

Original poster
winkyl · 28/12/2021 11:02

We have two dc, 9&11.

OP posts:
BarefootHippieChick · 28/12/2021 11:03

Is he good friend’s with the party host?

Old colleagues apparently. Seems odd to me.

SpinsForGin · 28/12/2021 11:04

It's odd and rude that you haven't also been invited. I have no issue with NYE parties but I wouldn't be impressed at being left at home. We both both go or neither of us goes.

CheddarGorgeous · 28/12/2021 11:05

Rude and odd that you are not invited to the party but being at home just the 4 of you for NYE is a little dull. Can you compromise?

Don't host his family again if you don't like them.

Notonthestairs · 28/12/2021 11:07

I'd be reviewing my relationship if DH wanted to leave me on my own for NYE.

Beachgirl33 · 28/12/2021 11:08

So you host Christmas for his family. Not just a meal but they stay for a few days and your husband now thinks it’s reasonable to tell you he is off out on a jolly to see the new year in with an old colleague?

Couple of things. He told you this rather than discussed it as an option? Do you have children? If you do does this mean he has assumed you will be home looking after them with no discussion/negotiation? How many people/households are going to this party? All going to be physically distanced? V unlikely.

My husband and I regularly socialise separately however, not for special occasions. It’s very inconsiderate of him at best x

Orchidflower1 · 28/12/2021 11:11

Is it ACTUALLY a colleague?!

emsmar · 28/12/2021 11:14

I'm usually very relaxed and have the opinion of "let him go to the party" but that's a bit cruel. I'd be quite hurt by that.

Original poster
winkyl · 28/12/2021 11:15

PIL stay for a week and SIL+family three days.

I am not sure if dc will be impressed either Dh going to a party.

OP posts:
WhatIsThisPlease · 28/12/2021 11:15

My ExH left me to go to a family party alone one NYE while he went out with his friends.

Turns out he was having an affair. He left in February.

NeedAHoliday2021 · 28/12/2021 11:15

My dh and I would never be apart on nye without good reason. I find it bizarre to put a colleague’s party above being with your wife.

Original poster
winkyl · 28/12/2021 11:19

Oh yeah, I told him my plans for the night and he said we can do them day after...

OP posts:
autumnboys · 28/12/2021 11:21

I wonder if you are invited but he knows you are unlikely to be able to get a baby sitter?

That is a ridiculously long time for your PIL to stay, by the way.

Somethingsnappy · 28/12/2021 11:21

As a PP said, did he just present it to you as already decided? Thus presuming you would be at home looking after the kids?

I agree with others, rude that you weren't invited and, in my opinion, disloyal of your DH not to see it that way too, bad that he wants to go without you and even worse if he's just made up his mind with no discussion.

LindaEllen · 28/12/2021 11:21

@thirstyformore

I regularly do things separately from my dh and neither of us would bat an eyelid if one went to a party, old colleagues wedding reception, afternoon drinking session etc by ourselves. But no way in hell would either of us go to a NYE party without the other!
This.
Itloggedmeoutagain · 28/12/2021 11:24

Inviting him and not you is just rude. In his shoes I would have declined for that reason alone.
Did he ask if you were invited and was told no?

JudyGemstone · 28/12/2021 11:28

I’m leaving my partner home alone on NYE, he’s working early the next day so will be in bed by 10 and I’d rather be out with friends than sat downstairs on my own - I didn’t realise this was considered inappropriate.

dworky · 28/12/2021 11:33

It's unacceptable isn't it? He's not a single man.

Itloggedmeoutagain · 28/12/2021 11:36

@JudyGemstone

I’m leaving my partner home alone on NYE, he’s working early the next day so will be in bed by 10 and I’d rather be out with friends than sat downstairs on my own - I didn’t realise this was considered inappropriate.
That's not quite the same issue though is it?
christmaskittenincoming · 28/12/2021 11:36

How is your relationship out with this?

Notonthestairs · 28/12/2021 11:36

@JudyGemstone your circumstances are clearly different - your partner has work and an early night.
The Op wants to spend NYE with her husband.

gamerchick · 28/12/2021 11:38

Tell him you're going, take the kids with you. They're old enough.

I've been invited to a NY party, husband is welcome but he always goes to bed early. So I'm going. I'm not having an affair either.

Swipe left for the next trending thread