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Mil hit the dog
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LilyTheMink · 26/12/2021 20:58

We have a 1 year old medium sized dog. He isn't badly behaved and doesn't normally jump up. When MIL arrived for Xmas, he was a little excited - but honestly nothing hyperactive at all.
He jumped around when MIL was hugging my daughter and I told him to get down. I turned my back and he must have done it again as suddenly he was sneezing and shaking his head. This is what he does when he's knocked his nose on something eg. the coffee table.
The kids told me that MIL had hit him.
I wasn't sure what to do and spend the rest of the time keeping him out of her way - although to be honest he did that himself anyway.
She's been horrible to our pets before - once flicking our 3 month off kitten off the table like he was a breadcrumb.
DH has just grown a spine and spoken to her about another ussue - she told our 10 yo DD she was "selfish and didn't think about other people" because she didn't want to wear the Xmas jumper DH had bought her. (This was said in private, but DD luckily told me as she was upset by it).
Wibu to tell her she's not welcome to ever come back if she shows aggression to our pets again, or speaks badly to our kids?

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ProudThrilledHappy · 26/12/2021 21:00

Hitting my pet and insulting my children would be a sure fire way to get shown the exit

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ScruffGin · 26/12/2021 21:01

I think either would be enough to not invite her back!

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LilyTheMink · 26/12/2021 21:01

@ProudThrilledHappy

Hitting my pet and insulting my children would be a sure fire way to get shown the exit

I mean she drove 5 hours to get to us so I couldn't throw her out. But I have to make sure it doesn't happen again really
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KittensWearingWoollyMittens · 26/12/2021 21:02

Yeah, I'm with Proud on this. Cruelty to children and animals is the lowest of the low, I would not want her in my house again. You are not overreacting

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fourandnomore · 26/12/2021 21:02

Yanbu

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Pinkchocolate · 26/12/2021 21:04

No you wouldn’t be unreasonable at all! I’d be fuming at both her comment to your DD as well as hitting your dog. You (or your DH ideally) need to tell her it’s unacceptable and she’s not welcome if that’s what she’ll behave like.

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NeverDropYourMooncup · 26/12/2021 21:14

I mean she drove 5 hours to get to us so I couldn't throw her out.

Why not?

She'd be counting herself lucky if I got around to opening the door first.

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MyCatEatsPrawnCrackers · 26/12/2021 21:14

I wouldn't have had her back in my house after she was cruel to the kitten, to be honest.

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WorriedGiraffe · 26/12/2021 21:16

What did she say when you confronted her about the dog and talking to your daughter that way?

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hartof · 26/12/2021 21:17

She would be out of the door with no dinner if that was me. But I am very over protective of my pet.

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SoniaFouler · 26/12/2021 21:18

Why were you letting your dog jump up on people? I find that so rude and she could have found it frightening. Not to say she should hit him but surely a dog would help or cry out if had been hit? I think she probably just pushed him away, which I would have done if a dog jumped on me.

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KeyLimePies · 26/12/2021 21:18

I mean she drove 5 hours to get to us so I couldn't throw her out.

You absolutely can ask her to leave. She’s been abusive and nasty to the most defenceless members of your family (I count pets as part of the family). Your poor DD and DDog must be on eggshells with her around.

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GCAcademic · 26/12/2021 21:20

She wouldn’t have set foot in my house again after the kitten incident.

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user1471442488 · 26/12/2021 21:22

@SoniaFouler

Why were you letting your dog jump up on people? I find that so rude and she could have found it frightening. Not to say she should hit him but surely a dog would help or cry out if had been hit? I think she probably just pushed him away, which I would have done if a dog jumped on me.

The kids told her that she had hit the dog. So unless you’re calling the children liars, then she hit the dog…
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Smokeahontas · 26/12/2021 21:23

I’d have shown her the door, in no uncertain terms.

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LilyTheMink · 26/12/2021 21:23

I thought it was our of order and tried to get DH to acknowledge it. To his credit he did, there is a history of him telling me I'm imaging problems when it comes to my relations with his mother.

DH confronted her about the selfish comment. Her reply was that DD was being selfish, but DH stood his ground and reminded her to help boost DD up and not knock her down.

I tried to pointedly say "Let's all be kind to the dog shall we", but idk if she heard or cared.

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SpellBounds · 26/12/2021 21:23

@SoniaFouler

Why were you letting your dog jump up on people? I find that so rude and she could have found it frightening. Not to say she should hit him but surely a dog would help or cry out if had been hit? I think she probably just pushed him away, which I would have done if a dog jumped on me.

Yep
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Buddrinker84 · 26/12/2021 21:23

I had the same situation last week when staying at the in laws. Our dog is a year old and is similar, my fil smacked him and I spoke up immediately. I kept a close eye. I loudly brought it up with my hubby the next morning, saying I would be leaving of anything of the sort happens again and wouldn't be responsible for my actions. I think he heard me because he didn't touch him again all weekend. I know it's slightly different because it's not our house, but I made sure to tell my hubby violence is not acceptable. I'm looking at not going with them any more, so the dog is safe. In my house, I have warned hubby of his df touches him he will be told to leave.

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Kshhuxnxk · 26/12/2021 21:24

She wouldn't have been back after the kitten incident - can't understand why you would have someone like this in your home.

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SoniaFouler · 26/12/2021 21:24

No I’m saying they may have said she hit the dog when in reality she tapped him or pushed him away. Why didn’t the dog make a noise if he had been hit? Why didn’t the children say “oh my god/don’t do that” or similar if the dog had just been hit?

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SoniaFouler · 26/12/2021 21:25

I would clarify with the children “how did she hit him?” before doing anything rash

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userxx · 26/12/2021 21:26

@Smokeahontas

I’d have shown her the door, in no uncertain terms.


Me too, once I'd given her a hard tap on her nose.
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ilovesooty · 26/12/2021 21:26

@MyCatEatsPrawnCrackers

I wouldn't have had her back in my house after she was cruel to the kitten, to be honest.

Neither would I.
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Topseyt · 26/12/2021 21:26

Of course you can ask her to leave. She can either find a hotel for the night or she can just drive five hours back.

I'd have been booting her out of the door. She sounds cruel and nasty. I wouldn't be having her back either.

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Mamamia7962 · 26/12/2021 21:26

If she had hurt the dog he would have yelped. Not sure how you can flick a kitten off a table, do you mean pushed?

The way she spoke to your daughter was out of order.

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