Mil hit the dog

[LilyTheMink]

We have a 1 year old medium sized dog. He isn't badly behaved and doesn't normally jump up. When MIL arrived for Xmas, he was a little excited - but honestly nothing hyperactive at all.
He jumped around when MIL was hugging my daughter and I told him to get down. I turned my back and he must have done it again as suddenly he was sneezing and shaking his head. This is what he does when he's knocked his nose on something eg. the coffee table.
The kids told me that MIL had hit him.
I wasn't sure what to do and spend the rest of the time keeping him out of her way - although to be honest he did that himself anyway.
She's been horrible to our pets before - once flicking our 3 month off kitten off the table like he was a breadcrumb.
DH has just grown a spine and spoken to her about another ussue - she told our 10 yo DD she was "selfish and didn't think about other people" because she didn't want to wear the Xmas jumper DH had bought her. (This was said in private, but DD luckily told me as she was upset by it).
Wibu to tell her she's not welcome to ever come back if she shows aggression to our pets again, or speaks badly to our kids?

[RabbitsOnPyjamas]

Anyone who hits or is in any way physically violent to dogs is the lowest of the low.

What's that saying? When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

This woman would never step in my house again. It's the dog's home, not hers.

[Keepingthingsinteresting]

@SoniaFouler

But you don’t KNOW she hit the dog. Why didn’t the dog yelp or bark or make any noise if it had just been hit? My guess is she pushed him down/away and the children took that as “she just hit him” when she didn’t

My dog never cries out, even when hurt. The dog reacted as OP says it does when it bumps it’s nose & the kids say MIL hit it- why are you so invested in making out she didn’t?

Cruel to kids and animals, I would be telling her if she ever wants to she her grandkids again she had better modify her training. She is not a one year old puppy in training and should know better

[tillyandmilly]

I hate animal cruelty - just today I have seen some lowlife woman shouting at her young Alsatian in the face and pulling at it with a very short lead and hit it on its face - the poor dog had its tail between its legs terrified - it has really upset me ! Why are there such vile people - are they born abusers of defenceless creatures? I wish I could of got her number plate when she got in her car - there is no excuse for showing violence to a defenceless creature !

[DownWhichOfLate]

Does your husband get a say in this at all? Seems very dramatic.

[LilyTheMink]

I lightly push him down if he is jumping up. Usually on his chest or base of his legs. Gently. He doesn't walk around sneezing and shaking his head hard for 3 or 4 minutes after I have done this.

[Wolfiefan]

I can’t picture how you flick a kitten off a surface like a breadcrumb
She shouldn’t have “hit” the dog. But you should manage introductions better so she’s not being jumped up at.
Don’t invite her again if you don’t want to.

[Unicornocopia]

@LilyTheMink

I lightly push him down if he is jumping up. Usually on his chest or base of his legs. Gently. He doesn't walk around sneezing and shaking his head hard for 3 or 4 minutes after I have done this.

I have a really roughedy toughedy gundog who will chase through hedgerows and all kinds of difficult terrain underterred and come out with all kinds of undergrowth stuck to ears.

The sneezing and shaking head is classic actually smacked into something and got hurt behaviour, dogs are extremely communicative by body language and owners can read it!

So sorry, OP, your MIL sounds like a piece of work.

[LookItsMeAgain]

Have you tackled the subject of her clearly not liking pets? She is a repeat offender when it comes to dealing with them.

I'd have to send her on her way to be honest. I wouldn't care if she was 5 minutes or 5 hours away, she doesn't get to treat a pet in my family in this way.

[PinkTonic]

@KeyLimePies

I find the number of people minimising aggression towards pets really depressing.

I think it’s depressing how many would expect to end all contact with their husband’s mother due to wild exaggeration of what probably amounted to pushing away a badly behaved dog and removing a cat from a table (🤢)

[silverbubbles]

Really you should have trained your dog better.

If your dog is ill mannered and jumps up at people it is likely to get smacked. I agree that you shouldn't smack pets but it is also not acceptable to have a dog that jumps up.

[LilyTheMink]

@Wolfiefan

I can’t picture how you flick a kitten off a surface like a breadcrumb
She shouldn’t have “hit” the dog. But you should manage introductions better so she’s not being jumped up at.
Don’t invite her again if you don’t want to.

'Swept' was probably a better word. She rapidly shoved it off with the back of her hand like it was nothing and it sort of went in an arc to the floor - obv landed on its feet still.
Sorry this requires so much explanation.

[Prescottdanni123]

@silverbubbles

At 1 year old, the dog is still a puppy and still in the process of being trained. He got excited and jumped up, when these things happen with young dogs, you have patience with them. You don't smack the dog or berate the owner for their pet being badly trained.

[AliceMcK]

My mother use to call me selfish all the time as a child, always out of everyone else’s earshot. Do not let her do this to your child, please. People like this do not change, if your going to keep her in your life then you need to make sure you pull her up on every little thing she dose, do not leave it to your DH, she might be his mother but these are your children your standing up for.

[Unicornocopia]

@silverbubbles

Really you should have trained your dog better.

If your dog is ill mannered and jumps up at people it is likely to get smacked. I agree that you shouldn't smack pets but it is also not acceptable to have a dog that jumps up.

Really the MIL should have trained herself better. It's not acceptable to turn up at somebody else's home and be violent, she's likely to get told off if she does that.

[Allsorts1]

@SoniaFouler a dog wouldn’t necessarily cry out if it was hit on purpose and scared, so that’s not really proof of anything.

[LilyTheMink]

🤣

[LilyTheMink]

@LilyTheMink

🤣

That was to Unicornucopia

[KurtWildesChristmasNamechange]

@HangingOutWithTheSandman

Everyone who says kick MIL out, this is the grandmother of their children and mother of the DH. Surely you don't end a relationship like that without trying to repair it first?

She’s hurt two animals and made a nasty comment to the child. I don’t have people like that around my kids so yes, relationship would be finished. I’m not a blood is thicker than water diet of person. If you act like a cunt, you’re not in my life, no matter who you are.

Well said @HangingOutWithTheSandman

[Dancingonmoonlight]

This happened to us during the summer. The dog was out in the garden and our dog was playing and running around. I saw BIL smack him. I was disgusted. There had been a couple of infrequent occasions where BIL had overstepped the mark and given out to one of our DC but I had never witnessed it myself. Hitting our dog told me an awful lot about BIL and the type of person he is. Sister has offered to look after dog when we go on hols but I would never trust her DH with our dog again. We keep a very close eye on dog and ensure dog is never alone with BIL when they visit.

[GrumpyTerrier]

It's your job to protect those little souls under your care, kids and animals. They can't protect themselves. Don't let being 'polite' stop you doing that. Difficult when you didnt see it yourself though. I would be tempted to ask her outright if it is true, and whether she denies or confesses, make it clear she won't be welcome in your house if she ever touches your pets again like that.

[TooManyAnimals94]

Dogs shouldn't jump up. I wouldn't smack one on the nose but he would get a knee to the chest from me.

[WhenISnappedAndFarted]

The dog is a puppy which is still being trained, no puppies are ever perfect at that age, it's the MIL that needs training like a PP said.

I have had plenty of rescue dogs who have come from abused homes who don't make a noise when scared, just because the dog didn't make a noise doesn't mean it wasn't hit.

I'm sorry for your dog and child OP, I'd be having a word with her along with your DH and saying that after the kitten incident and the rest then she wouldn't be coming back again if anything else like that happens.

[PrincessConsuelaCrapBag]

@SnowdropSally

She’d have been asked to leave immediately, I don’t give a flying fuck if she had a long drive or not - my house, my rules. Personally, I wouldn’t break breath to her again if she’d hit my dog. I have zero tolerance for abuse of animals. Smack her nose and see how she likes it! My mother came one Christmas and was helping me feed the horses, she smacked one of my horses over the face with rubber gloves as she wouldn't move back from the stable door so she could put the feed in, that horse was head shy for a good few weeks after that. I picked the gloves up and asked her if she’d like me to smack her in the face with them. When I got back to the house I asked her to leave, she spent that Christmas and many more alone, I will not have anyone who hits animals in my home.

👏
I wouldn't have this. All these people who say they don't like dogs jumping up....why not mention it before hand so the dog can be removed from the room or something. Presumably anyone with a reasonable dislike or phobia would know you have a dog and would be able to mention this before arrival. It's not like the avon lady from down the street popped in unexpectedly for a cuppa. No one would come in to my house and hit/shove/flick/push my dog. Family friend or otherwise. Ever. It's quite simply not up to that person to inflict cruelty however 'mild' onto a member of my family. And yes my dogs are also part of my family too