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AIBU?

Mil hit the dog

568 replies

LilyTheMink · 26/12/2021 20:58

We have a 1 year old medium sized dog. He isn't badly behaved and doesn't normally jump up. When MIL arrived for Xmas, he was a little excited - but honestly nothing hyperactive at all.
He jumped around when MIL was hugging my daughter and I told him to get down. I turned my back and he must have done it again as suddenly he was sneezing and shaking his head. This is what he does when he's knocked his nose on something eg. the coffee table.
The kids told me that MIL had hit him.
I wasn't sure what to do and spend the rest of the time keeping him out of her way - although to be honest he did that himself anyway.
She's been horrible to our pets before - once flicking our 3 month off kitten off the table like he was a breadcrumb.
DH has just grown a spine and spoken to her about another ussue - she told our 10 yo DD she was "selfish and didn't think about other people" because she didn't want to wear the Xmas jumper DH had bought her. (This was said in private, but DD luckily told me as she was upset by it).
Wibu to tell her she's not welcome to ever come back if she shows aggression to our pets again, or speaks badly to our kids?

OP posts:

Report

Wolfiefan · 26/12/2021 22:40

She doesn’t like kittens on tables or dogs jumping up.
She wouldn’t like my house much!
But I wouldn’t assume malice. Just a reaction to animals invading her space.
You need to manage her, the animals or not let her in! (I know which I would do!!)

dustandfluf · 26/12/2021 22:40

So many cunty people on this thread trying to excuse casual abuse of animals! The dog is a puppy and it was excited. It didn't know it wasn't supposed to be excited. No excuse for hitting the poor chap.

ArrrMeHearties · 26/12/2021 22:40

If anyone hit my dog I'd be absolutely livid. No chance would I ever see someone who did that ever again.

KurtWildesChristmasNamechange · 26/12/2021 22:41

@TooManyAnimals94

Dogs shouldn't jump up. I wouldn't smack one on the nose but he would get a knee to the chest from me.

If someone kneed my dog in the chest they'd be told to leave and never invited back.

AnotherEmma · 26/12/2021 22:41

@LilyTheMink

We have a 1 year old medium sized dog. He isn't badly behaved and doesn't normally jump up. When MIL arrived for Xmas, he was a little excited - but honestly nothing hyperactive at all.
He jumped around when MIL was hugging my daughter and I told him to get down. I turned my back and he must have done it again as suddenly he was sneezing and shaking his head. This is what he does when he's knocked his nose on something eg. the coffee table.
The kids told me that MIL had hit him.
I wasn't sure what to do and spend the rest of the time keeping him out of her way - although to be honest he did that himself anyway.
She's been horrible to our pets before - once flicking our 3 month off kitten off the table like he was a breadcrumb.
DH has just grown a spine and spoken to her about another ussue - she told our 10 yo DD she was "selfish and didn't think about other people" because she didn't want to wear the Xmas jumper DH had bought her. (This was said in private, but DD luckily told me as she was upset by it).
Wibu to tell her she's not welcome to ever come back if she shows aggression to our pets again, or speaks badly to our kids?

You would be unreasonable to invite her ever again.
Given her past behaviour, she shouldn't get another chance.
It's utterly shocking. She is a nasty, cruel woman.
DH can see her elsewhere (without the kids) if he wants.

RoyalFamilyFan · 26/12/2021 22:44

So people are supposed to just put up with dogs jumping all over them?

echt · 26/12/2021 22:45

@TooManyAnimals94

Dogs shouldn't jump up. I wouldn't smack one on the nose but he would get a knee to the chest from me.

That is the same as smacking it. Get someone to knee you in the chest and see how you like it.

Bringing your leg up and across makes a barrier to stop the dog biffing you in the belly or chest.

AnotherEmma · 26/12/2021 22:45

I'm not even a dog person, by the way. I dislike dogs!! But obviously I know that hurting animals is completely unacceptable. And I would not want her around my children, based on what she said to DD. I'm sure there are many, many more examples of her unacceptable, toxic behaviour.

echt · 26/12/2021 22:45

@RoyalFamilyFan

So people are supposed to just put up with dogs jumping all over them?

No. Just not hitting them.

dustandfluf · 26/12/2021 22:45

@TooManyAnimals94

Dogs shouldn't jump up. I wouldn't smack one on the nose but he would get a knee to the chest from me.

If someone kneed my dog in the chest I'd do it back to them.

SoniaFouler · 26/12/2021 22:47

I still don’t think the MIL hit the dog personally

LilyTheMink · 26/12/2021 22:47

I am now remembering the tale she told me of when DH bit her when he was a baby about 10 months old. She triumphantly says she bit him back and he never did it again.
I am not going to cut contact but have decided to closely supervise her interactions with DCs and pets, to prevent any further incidents.
Obv if it happens again I will reassess.

OP posts:

dustandfluf · 26/12/2021 22:47

@RoyalFamilyFan

So people are supposed to just put up with dogs jumping all over them?

No just not physically abuse them. Not a hard concept to grasp surely.

HamCob · 26/12/2021 22:47

@EbonanzaScrooge

I don’t believe in hitting animals but you shouldn’t be letting your dog jump up on people let alone twice. If your dog gets excited by guests (like mine) it should be kept away until it’s calm.

MIL was completely out of order so please don’t take this any other way but your dog need to be better trained.

Yes!!
It seems to be some weird blind spot with some dog owners. Not everyone wants your dog jumping all over them. If they are jumpy then keep them out of the way for heavens sake.
SIL has a spaniel that knocked my 2 yr old flying then jumped up at my 5 year old dragging its claws down his chest and leaving red welts while SIL giggled and said 'don't worry she'll calm down in a minute'. To be honest I felt like smacking it on the nose 😡

FuckeryIsAfoot · 26/12/2021 22:48

@TooManyAnimals94

Dogs shouldn't jump up. I wouldn't smack one on the nose but he would get a knee to the chest from me.

How would you feel if someone kneed you in the chest for behaving in a way they didn't find acceptable?

echt · 26/12/2021 22:48

@SoniaFouler

I still don’t think the MIL hit the dog personally

Read the OP's OP.

Yes she did.

RoyalFamilyFan · 26/12/2021 22:49

@LilyTheMink although I would never have done that, it used to be standard advice to do exactly that. HVs would advise it.

SoniaFouler · 26/12/2021 22:49

Read the OP's OP.

The OP didn’t see anything

LilyTheMink · 26/12/2021 22:50

@AliceMcK

My mother use to call me selfish all the time as a child, always out of everyone else’s earshot. Do not let her do this to your child, please. People like this do not change, if your going to keep her in your life then you need to make sure you pull her up on every little thing she dose, do not leave it to your DH, she might be his mother but these are your children your standing up for.

I am sorry to hear about your mother saying that to you. MIL has said it to me, but must be much worse from your own parent.

OP posts:

Prescottdanni123 · 26/12/2021 22:50

@EbonanzaScrooge

You are ignoring the fact that OP's dog is still a puppy. At one year old, dogs are still being trained. It takes time to instil in them what they are allowed to do and what they are not. And when they get over excited they sometimes forget that they are not meant to jump up at people. Having a 1 year old dog that occasionally jumps up is not a sign that you haven't trained your dog properly.

OhWhyNot · 26/12/2021 22:51

Oh lordy MN is going to explode now with that nugget of information now op

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/12/2021 22:51

@RoyalFamilyFan

So people are supposed to just put up with dogs jumping all over them?

You turn so it ends up back on the floor and say, "no" in a shocked, disapproving tone.

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Poppinjay · 26/12/2021 22:52

I still don’t think the MIL hit the dog personally

There's very little point in commenting then, seeing as the OP is looking for perspectives on how to respond to the MIL hitting the dog

Prescottdanni123 · 26/12/2021 22:52

@SoniaFouler

Her kids did. The dog was shaming its head/sneezing for a few minutes and avoided MIL for the rest of the day. That behaviour alone does suggest that it was hit with force. You have ignored her flicking the kitten off a surface, and what she said to OP's DD.

Blossomtoes · 26/12/2021 22:53

@fallfallfall

excuse me but what is the big deal with hitting a dog that is jumping up or being a nuisance? it's even suggested when dogs jump up you knee them in their belly or push them backwards, which to me seems much worse than a smack on the nose?
sounds to me like you're making excuses for a poorly trained dog who rushes to the door. some people don't like that behavior.

Dear God, I didn’t know people like this existed. What’s the big deal about hitting a dog? The same big deal as if someone hit you.

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