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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mil hit the dog

568 replies

LilyTheMink · 26/12/2021 20:58

We have a 1 year old medium sized dog. He isn't badly behaved and doesn't normally jump up. When MIL arrived for Xmas, he was a little excited - but honestly nothing hyperactive at all.
He jumped around when MIL was hugging my daughter and I told him to get down. I turned my back and he must have done it again as suddenly he was sneezing and shaking his head. This is what he does when he's knocked his nose on something eg. the coffee table.
The kids told me that MIL had hit him.
I wasn't sure what to do and spend the rest of the time keeping him out of her way - although to be honest he did that himself anyway.
She's been horrible to our pets before - once flicking our 3 month off kitten off the table like he was a breadcrumb.
DH has just grown a spine and spoken to her about another ussue - she told our 10 yo DD she was "selfish and didn't think about other people" because she didn't want to wear the Xmas jumper DH had bought her. (This was said in private, but DD luckily told me as she was upset by it).
Wibu to tell her she's not welcome to ever come back if she shows aggression to our pets again, or speaks badly to our kids?

OP posts:
Mydogmylife · 28/12/2021 22:59

@Feetupteashot

Just ask her what happened no? If a dog jumped up pawing or nearly snapping at my face when I was hugging a child I would flick them away as a reflex reaction
Who mentioned snapping ?
petitebabe · 28/12/2021 23:34

Dont worry. My sons dog jumped and hurt my cousins arm. She didnt mean to but was protecting me.

SoniaFouler · 28/12/2021 23:59

@petitebabe

Dont worry. My sons dog jumped and hurt my cousins arm. She didnt mean to but was protecting me.
That dog sounds like a danger. Imagine if your cousin was a small toddler and the dog reacted in the same manner. I shudder to think.
petitebabe · 29/12/2021 00:04

OMG she isnt nasty and meets many toddlers, young children. Would never hurt them. My cousin obviously scared her. You are reading this wrong. My daughter has a Staff also and we used to have a Staff bless her so we know how to deal with dogs and situations.

SoniaFouler · 29/12/2021 00:09

@petitebabe

OMG she isnt nasty and meets many toddlers, young children. Would never hurt them. My cousin obviously scared her. You are reading this wrong. My daughter has a Staff also and we used to have a Staff bless her so we know how to deal with dogs and situations.
I didn’t say she was nasty Confused You said “she didn’t mean to but she was protecting me”…if she was protecting you then she did mean to do it, surely. So if she had perceived you needing “protection” from a toddler, it could have been a lot more dangerous.
petitebabe · 29/12/2021 00:20

Ok I get your point. What the hell do I do then with my daughter expecting.....

SoniaFouler · 29/12/2021 00:57

@petitebabe

Ok I get your point. What the hell do I do then with my daughter expecting.....
Well I don’t know you, your dog, your daughter or her dog, that’s all of your situations to figure out. I was just commenting on what you wrote and what I thought upon reading it. What I will say is that IF there is ANY doubt or concern about the dog being around the baby-to-be then the baby comes first and the dog goes. Always.
Furries · 29/12/2021 01:39

@petitebabe

Dont worry. My sons dog jumped and hurt my cousins arm. She didnt mean to but was protecting me.
Bloody hell, you sound clueless about dogs!
DogsandCatsB4u · 29/12/2021 03:11

You’re too soft. She is abusing your animals and upsetting your children. She should not be welcome in your home with children and animals

DogsandCatsB4u · 29/12/2021 03:20

@petitebabe

Hi Guys

Older Mum to 2 great kids. Both own their own homes. One a Police Officer and one a child care provider. My daughter is pregnant and due in March. My Son is a come out gay with an amazing partner. People react to certain situations especially Gay Police Officers. My son since he was tiny said ....... I want to keep the peace...... meaning Police.... bless him. He was working at Aldi while he trained as a Special and worked for many years. Then he decided to become a full time copper. Along process then so proud of him he did it. Again my daughter is the most kindest little madam (always was when she was little) lol. She always says her mind and I love that. My kids are great. Next post my Mum and Dad who are amazing.... Love them.

Nobody asked for your life story wtf lol
user1478172746 · 29/12/2021 03:22

She is mother in law. MOTHER. As said grandmother of your children and mother of your husband. She should be more important than any pets. Confront her about unwanted behaviour, make adjustments, but you can't cut her out or throw her out of the door for pushing a cat off the table (yes, many think cats have no business on the tables where food is served or prepared) and taping a dog on the nose. You, people! 🙄 Hello! And she wanted to teach manners to her granddaughter. Again - speak to her. You can't cut family members out for such minor incidents. Family has a meaning. To put pets above that doesn't mean all the good things you think it means.

Furries · 29/12/2021 03:28

@user1478172746

She is mother in law. MOTHER. As said grandmother of your children and mother of your husband. She should be more important than any pets. Confront her about unwanted behaviour, make adjustments, but you can't cut her out or throw her out of the door for pushing a cat off the table (yes, many think cats have no business on the tables where food is served or prepared) and taping a dog on the nose. You, people! 🙄 Hello! And she wanted to teach manners to her granddaughter. Again - speak to her. You can't cut family members out for such minor incidents. Family has a meaning. To put pets above that doesn't mean all the good things you think it means.
Just because someone is a mother, it doesn’t mean that they’re right.
KurtWildesChristmasNamechange · 29/12/2021 09:09

@user1478172746

She is mother in law. MOTHER. As said grandmother of your children and mother of your husband. She should be more important than any pets. Confront her about unwanted behaviour, make adjustments, but you can't cut her out or throw her out of the door for pushing a cat off the table (yes, many think cats have no business on the tables where food is served or prepared) and taping a dog on the nose. You, people! 🙄 Hello! And she wanted to teach manners to her granddaughter. Again - speak to her. You can't cut family members out for such minor incidents. Family has a meaning. To put pets above that doesn't mean all the good things you think it means.
Wanted to teach manners to her granddaughter?! By stopping her from having her own mind on what she wears on her OWN BODY? Christ on a bike. It's not her place to do ANY of what she did in SOMEONE ELSE'S HOME.
KurtWildesChristmasNamechange · 29/12/2021 09:11

Think this thread has gone completely batshit actually. People making up their own stories, people sharing their life story completely irrelevant to the thread, people asking what to do about their own dogs!

So
Much
Weirdness

ElectraBlue · 29/12/2021 09:15

I would tell her that her behaviour is not acceptable and that she will no longer be welcome in the house if she does this again.

I can't stand people who are unkind towards animal and kids. To me they are simply cowardly bullies.

Lolabray · 29/12/2021 09:15

Next time hit her flick her and tell her to fuck off out of your house the cheeky cow

SoniaFouler · 29/12/2021 09:19

@KurtWildesChristmasNamechange

Think this thread has gone completely batshit actually. People making up their own stories, people sharing their life story completely irrelevant to the thread, people asking what to do about their own dogs!

So
Much
Weirdness

It was a batshit thread from the beginning. Still, it got enough attention to qualify for the DailyMail, so job done.
FateHasRedesignedMost · 29/12/2021 09:22

Why didn’t you keep dog on a harness if he has a tendency to ‘join in’ hugs (put his front paws on people)?

Lots of people don’t want a dog standing up against them when they’re hugging a child. Dogs have sharp scratchy claws (and they lick). I’d be mortified if my dog tried to put his front paws on a visitor! Especially if I’d just told him off for it (yet failed to prevent him doing it again).

Yes dogs need to learn manners like all paws on the floor, one is a tricky age, so you keep them on a harness/lead until they’re calm enough to meet guests. Or in their crate if they really can’t be trusted or you have your hands full.

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