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AIBU?

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Original poster

tat from B&M for christmas

287 replies

tatfrombandm · 21/12/2021 15:18

This didn't happen today but I've been feeling somewhat unreasonably cross at DP for about a week now as I know I'm being ungreatful, some people get nothing. I didn't know the bags in the hall were for christmas so I had a peek to see where things go to put it away, but as they appeared to be gifts I didn't touch them. DP had just come back from B&M and was in bed with netflix. DP later tells me not to look in the bags as they're presents from me. They are cheap, and unthoughtful gifts ie low end chocolates, cheap shower products that will make me itch (he knows I've got sensitive skin) And I'd rather he hadn't got me anything at all as I get chocolate every other week anyway in the main supermarket shop. I'm not sure what the purpose of this thread is other than complaining but I suppose you lot can use this thread for complaining about tat from B&M. And for the record the presents I got for him were well thought out and expensive

OP posts:
Fallagain · 21/12/2021 15:26

Go and talk to him now. Don’t let this fester. Gibe him the opportunity to sort it.

lastqueenofscotland · 21/12/2021 15:27

Yep just say something now.

adoreyou · 21/12/2021 15:28

Send the stuff back you bought him and buy him similar stuff?

Or tell him you saw in the bag and ask had he really just got you stuff from b&m?
Least he still has time to get something else if you point it out now.

Hemingwayscatz · 21/12/2021 15:28

Just say something. Is there a budget constraint or is he just being absolutely careless?

OneRuleForThem · 21/12/2021 15:29

You sound like a bit of a snob tbh

GregTheEgg · 21/12/2021 15:30

That’s a bit shit if that’s all he’s got you. I went B&M tat shopping for my DCs’ stockings, not their main gifts.

I would say to him that you don’t want him to be embarrassed on the day if he’s only got you bits and bobs while you’ve bought him something thoughtful and expensive, so he should be aware that if you’re doing budget Xmas this year he should tell you and you’ll swap his gift for something more fitting.

Akire · 21/12/2021 15:31

They can’t be main present I don’t think sell any toiletries over about £2.99! Maybe extra stocking fillers? You could always return his gifts and get him similar and buy something yourself.

Outnumbered99 · 21/12/2021 15:31

I would feel the same OP

TheHoptimist · 21/12/2021 15:31

@OneRuleForThem

You sound like a bit of a snob tbh
No she doesnt. It isnt being snobby to not want stif you are allergic to or to want a higher quality chocolate (an area where price really does make a difference)
Original poster
tatfrombandm · 21/12/2021 15:32

I forgot to mention he's even got hot chocolate for me that's even cheaper than the stuff we usually get. Knowing him I can't say anything and just need to accept it or he'll call me ungreatful and be in a mood

OP posts:
AuntieMarys · 21/12/2021 15:32

Why do people buy shit gifts for others and not give any thought? What a waste of money. I'd be well fucked off.

GregTheEgg · 21/12/2021 15:34

And it’s not snobby to want more than stocking filler toiletries for Xmas from your partner if that’s not what was agreed. If you only usually buy each other token gifts then fine. Or if he’d maybe bought you a new hairdryer or some pretty household bits you wanted from B&M then fine - I like their home decor stuff. But if I’d gone to the trouble and expense of finding a significant other something really nice and they’d got me a Lynx shower set and tub of celebrations I’d be pissed off.

SpeckledlyHen · 21/12/2021 15:34

@OneRuleForThem

You sound like a bit of a snob tbh
She doesn't at all. She sounds like someone who doesn't want to receive unthoughtful crap from her "D" H. It shows little regard for the OP and personally if that were me to I would insist in future no gifts if the person buying it couldn't be thoughtful. Quite a different thing than accusing her of being a snob..
Whatwouldscullydo · 21/12/2021 15:34

That would piss me off too. The kind of gifts that u get people you don't know or the kids give to their friends on the last day of school.

For a spouse /partner they are just indicative of how little appreciation they have of u. Sometimes eveb to demonstrate how " easy " Xmas is and how unnecessarily hard work you make it out to be when hiy try and give thoughtful or at least gifts that show you listened at one point in their lives.

I garuntee also there will be massive sulk when you aren't so unbelievably enthusiastic and grateful and ot will be an excuse not to bother next time.

woodlandarchitect · 21/12/2021 15:35

I got out of date tonic and last years gin! (Not from DH)

Blush I haven’t said a word though…

SlashBeef · 21/12/2021 15:36

Yanbu
I would genuinely rather have no gift than some crap from B&M. Could you speak to him about it? Maybe he really thinks it's fine.

BrilliantBetty · 21/12/2021 15:37

This is why I tell my DH what I want or something along the lines of...

This year I want something along the lines of some jewellery I saw in the local jewellers and took a photo to show him.

SmolCat · 21/12/2021 15:39

What do you usually do for Christmas presents? Did you talk beforehand so decide on a general budget?

Justmuddlingalong · 21/12/2021 15:40

I feel your pain, OP. I have a bag of shite from a family member here and it's all cheap tat from amazon lightning deals. It's wrapped, so it'll be a surprise when I open it, but not a surprise that there's nothing there that's had a moments thought in choosing it.

Original poster
tatfrombandm · 21/12/2021 15:41

@SlashBeef

Yanbu I would genuinely rather have no gift than some crap from B&M. Could you speak to him about it? Maybe he really thinks it's fine.
yes he really will think it is fine as I just recalled that after last years christmas he said he doesn't want to do it anymore as I'm too old and should know better. Written down this sounds abusive. I think when I'd told him I'd got him gifts he went out in a hurry to get tat.
OP posts:
colourfulpuddles · 21/12/2021 15:41

My husband was like this when we first got together. I explained how it makes me feel when he puts no thought into my gifts.

He now spends the entire year looking for presents, putting ideas on lists and coming up with things he knows I’ll love because he really enjoys seeing the delight on my face when I receive them.

So talk to him!

ChocolateCakeYum · 21/12/2021 15:42

@tatfrombandm

I forgot to mention he's even got hot chocolate for me that's even cheaper than the stuff we usually get. Knowing him I can't say anything and just need to accept it or he'll call me ungreatful and be in a mood
He’s expecting you not to say anything so he can keep not making an effort. Don’t put up with it. If he’s going to sulk then maybe remind him that sulking men are incredibly unattractive.
lastqueenofscotland · 21/12/2021 15:43

Does he sulk until he gets his own way in other areas OP?

SlashBeef · 21/12/2021 15:43
Sad
sarah13xx · 21/12/2021 15:43

‘Tat from b&m’ is the most accurate description of the gift I receive from my in laws every year 😂 I might be ungrateful but I’d never say it out loud, only saying it on here 🙈 I’d rather they didn’t get me anything or literally just get me a plant or something rather than padding a present out with random clutter for the cupboards. This year for my birthday I got the exact same body spray gift set that is still sitting unopened in my cupboard from last year. I can’t bring myself to bin it or give it to charity as that seems harsh but then what else am I supposed to do with it? For my birthday they gave me the usual ‘tat’ as you’ve put it as well as a pain-free hair removal tool for eyebrows etc 🤔 I opened the present when my sister was there (they weren’t btw) and she was like omg they got you a face shaver!! 😂 Like one of those jml type ones from b&m. The worst of it is the fact they really build up the present every year like you’re going to love this then ask about 15 times for weeks after if you liked it 🤔 it’s only this year I’m really starting to grudge it as MIL requests rather large very specific gifts and I now don’t involve myself in buying or wrapping them since she asked to return the lovely bedding I bought her the first year I did her present and it was all wrapped beautifully so clearly from your son’s girlfriend and not your son! She took cash from DH in exchange for giving the present back which I thought was just so cheeky given the utter s*e she gives us every year. This year we have the biggest box you’ve ever seen in the hall and when I asked what it was DH said it’s a chair for his mum’s dressing room that she chose. Meanwhile I’m getting crap like a face shaver in return 🤔😂