Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

tat from B&M for christmas

287 replies

tatfrombandm · 21/12/2021 15:18

This didn't happen today but I've been feeling somewhat unreasonably cross at DP for about a week now as I know I'm being ungreatful, some people get nothing. I didn't know the bags in the hall were for christmas so I had a peek to see where things go to put it away, but as they appeared to be gifts I didn't touch them. DP had just come back from B&M and was in bed with netflix. DP later tells me not to look in the bags as they're presents from me. They are cheap, and unthoughtful gifts ie low end chocolates, cheap shower products that will make me itch (he knows I've got sensitive skin) And I'd rather he hadn't got me anything at all as I get chocolate every other week anyway in the main supermarket shop. I'm not sure what the purpose of this thread is other than complaining but I suppose you lot can use this thread for complaining about tat from B&M. And for the record the presents I got for him were well thought out and expensive

OP posts:
Bellafrenum · 21/12/2021 15:44

I think I would just order myself some lovely things I want. Then put the B&M stuff in the food bank bit in the supermarket.

Original poster
tatfrombandm · 21/12/2021 15:44

The presents I used to get were expensive and well thought out, things he knew i wanted, and then over the years it just got cheaper and cheaper and now its tat from b&m

OP posts:
Bellafrenum · 21/12/2021 15:45

I would also say something and put up with the sulk. Maybe he will learn.

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 21/12/2021 15:45

If not wanting shite from B&M as a Christmas gift from one's partner makes one a snob then call me Hyacinth Bucket! 'Cos I would be unimpressed.

Holothane · 21/12/2021 15:46

I’ve told h I’m having books for kindle and I’ve bits I’ve brought my self, I don’t want stuff from him this year (long story) I’ve been there with the crappy gifts it’s hurts it really does.

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 21/12/2021 15:46

Maybe he's winding you up.

If he's not, then I bet it feels a bit crap.
Go out and buy similar for him. Pretend it's his main present when you give it to him and check his reaction. If all those bits are your main present, return his expensive one after Christmas. If he's gotten you something with a bit more thought, give him his expensive one.
It maybe comes over as a bit shallow but getting utter shite for a present is hurtful when you've gone to the effort of choosing them something they'd like.

My dh asked me what I wanted for Christmas. He asked me to give him a list of things. I did but told him to only choose one thing from the list. They varied from £10-£70. He's already told me he's not getting me any of the things on my list. He doesn't think I need themHmm
I asked him what he wanted. He told me but won't tell me what kind to get. It's for a hobby. He just said to give him a homemade voucher or something and give it to him when he next needs it.
I expect he'll last minute think he needs to get me something and I'll end up with stuff I can't use.....and then I'll feel bad for not getting him anything even though he said not toConfused
I really don't like Christmas.

Tal45 · 21/12/2021 15:47

I would say you're excited about seeing what he's got you for Christmas and then reminisce about some of the good well thought out presents he's bought you. End it with 'I love your idea of putting it in B and M bags to cover up where it's really from.'

clolo · 21/12/2021 15:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 21/12/2021 15:48

My dh asked me what I wanted for Christmas. He asked me to give him a list of things. I did but told him to only choose one thing from the list. They varied from £10-£70. He's already told me he's not getting me any of the things on my list. He doesn't think I need them

I don't even know what to say to that!

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 21/12/2021 15:53

@sarah13xx

‘Tat from b&m’ is the most accurate description of the gift I receive from my in laws every year 😂 I might be ungrateful but I’d never say it out loud, only saying it on here 🙈 I’d rather they didn’t get me anything or literally just get me a plant or something rather than padding a present out with random clutter for the cupboards. This year for my birthday I got the exact same body spray gift set that is still sitting unopened in my cupboard from last year. I can’t bring myself to bin it or give it to charity as that seems harsh but then what else am I supposed to do with it? For my birthday they gave me the usual ‘tat’ as you’ve put it as well as a pain-free hair removal tool for eyebrows etc 🤔 I opened the present when my sister was there (they weren’t btw) and she was like omg they got you a face shaver!! 😂 Like one of those jml type ones from b&m. The worst of it is the fact they really build up the present every year like you’re going to love this then ask about 15 times for weeks after if you liked it 🤔 it’s only this year I’m really starting to grudge it as MIL requests rather large very specific gifts and I now don’t involve myself in buying or wrapping them since she asked to return the lovely bedding I bought her the first year I did her present and it was all wrapped beautifully so clearly from your son’s girlfriend and not your son! She took cash from DH in exchange for giving the present back which I thought was just so cheeky given the utter s*e she gives us every year. This year we have the biggest box you’ve ever seen in the hall and when I asked what it was DH said it’s a chair for his mum’s dressing room that she chose. Meanwhile I’m getting crap like a face shaver in return 🤔😂
I have a box at the ready, so after Christmas we go through our unwanted gifts and it goes to the charity shop. I've never sold them on eBayGrin
JesusSufferingFuck22 · 21/12/2021 15:55

@StrychnineInTheSandwiches

My dh asked me what I wanted for Christmas. He asked me to give him a list of things. I did but told him to only choose one thing from the list. They varied from £10-£70. He's already told me he's not getting me any of the things on my list. He doesn't think I need them

I don't even know what to say to that!

Yeah, neither do I. I'd have been happier if he hadn't asked and just gotten me tat!
Original poster
tatfrombandm · 21/12/2021 15:56

For those suggesting to return his presents, I don't have the heart to, and they are under the tree wrapped, he has seen them

OP posts:
AMerryNickelChristmas · 21/12/2021 15:56

I agree.

Tell him you don't mind b&m shopping, but it has to be the same brand or better than as the one you normally get.

Thoughtless, thrown together last-minute gifts that are something you'll use are at least useful .

ShepherdMoons · 21/12/2021 15:58

Maybe try "Oh dear, I saw the bags of tat from B&M out there. Who are we giving that to? I hope it's not someone we know very well. I would hate something like that." Give him chance to go out and buy something you really want!

PumpkinEye · 21/12/2021 15:58

You are too old and should know better?…

He’s the one that should know better. 🙄

PumpkinEye · 21/12/2021 16:01

’I’m really looking forward to open my presents. And I can’t wait for you to open yours, I know you’ll love it!’

CharityDingle · 21/12/2021 16:01

@tatfrombandm

I forgot to mention he's even got hot chocolate for me that's even cheaper than the stuff we usually get. Knowing him I can't say anything and just need to accept it or he'll call me ungreatful and be in a mood
Return the stuff you bought for him, and buy stuff on a par with what he has for you. Spend the money you saved on nice stuff for yourself.
Fundays12 · 21/12/2021 16:02

I get this. I asked DH to not do his normal and run to Tesco to get me gifts when there is nothing left except horrible toiletry sets that set of my eczema and a cup which he has got me loads of. He went to boots last week. I didn't mean to sound ungrateful but would genuinely have rather got a bottle of wine from him than thoughtless, last minute tat I don't like

ShinyHappyPoster · 21/12/2021 16:02

Your thread title actually made me smile because I buy tat from B&M every year for the stockings Xmas Smile
But, as for your lazy, inconsiderate DH, I'd be tempted to say, 'oh I wasn't looking in any present bag - it was just household stuff from B&M'. Xmas Wink

Nickwinkle · 21/12/2021 16:03

Could it be that they're not your main present and they're just 'stocking fillers'? Or maybe he's getting a good selection of stuff together to make a hamper. Just little things that you'd use everyday but sometime's that's better than some flashy, expensive thing you're never gonna use.

For friend's birthdays I usually go to B&M (I wouldn't say their branded stuff is any less than what you buy in a supermarket, FYI) and get loads of little bits to put together in a hamper; facemasks, smellies, lotions, hot chocolate, slippers, hot water bottles... Are you saying that your response is how they think and I'm actually an awful cheap-skate friend despite those things racking up about £40-£50 in total? Jeez. Thanks.

You sound extremely ungrateful and if it really bothers you that much then say something to him but I wouldn't expect a great reaction.

Not all presents have to be expensive to be good. Sometimes small, cheap and sentimental is better.

AMerryNickelChristmas · 21/12/2021 16:03
Hmm there was supposed to be a quot there. Nevermind
Whatwouldscullydo · 21/12/2021 16:04

Tat from b&m’ is the most accurate description of the gift I receive from my in laws every yearI might be ungrateful but I’d never say it out loud, only saying it on hereI’d rather they didn’t get me anything or literally just get me a plant or something rather than padding a present out with random clutter for the cupboards. This year for my birthday I got the exact same body spray gift set that is still sitting unopened in my cupboard from last year. I can’t bring myself to bin it or give it to charity as that seems harsh but then what else am I supposed to do with it? For my birthday they gave me the usual ‘tat’ as you’ve put it as well as a pain-free hair removal tool for eyebrows etc 🤔 I opened the present when my sister was there (they weren’t btw) and she was like omg they got you a face shaver!!Like one of those jml type ones from b&m. The worst of it is the fact they really build up the present every year like you’re going to love this then ask about 15 times for weeks after if you liked it 🤔 it’s only this year I’m really starting to grudge it as MIL requests rather large very specific gifts and I now don’t involve myself in buying or wrapping them since she asked to return the lovely bedding I bought her the first year I did her present and it was all wrapped beautifully so clearly from your son’s girlfriend and not your son! She took cash from DH in exchange for giving the present back which I thought was just so cheeky given the utter s*e she gives us every year. This year we have the biggest box you’ve ever seen in the hall and when I asked what it was DH said it’s a chair for his mum’s dressing room that she chose. Meanwhile I’m getting crap like a face shaver in return

Ha ha inlaws are the worst for this stuff.

Especially when you specifically say honestly there's no need to get the kids anything ir us anything because we know you don't get much of a chance to go out as you have lots of responsibilities witg family ( not us) and we know u struggle with money. Honestly just give the kids a call they will be happy to speak to u.

Then they insist they are getting the one thing you said you were getting fir them. So then you have to try and think of what else to get for the kids. Only to discover that what they said they would get and what the kids thought they were getting and what you gave them the option of not getting or bunging a couple of quid towards it if they wanted to, has been replaced with Facebook Xmas tat selling page style stuff.

Like y.

AMerryNickelChristmas · 21/12/2021 16:06

@Nickwinkle

Could it be that they're not your main present and they're just 'stocking fillers'? Or maybe he's getting a good selection of stuff together to make a hamper. Just little things that you'd use everyday but sometime's that's better than some flashy, expensive thing you're never gonna use.

For friend's birthdays I usually go to B&M (I wouldn't say their branded stuff is any less than what you buy in a supermarket, FYI) and get loads of little bits to put together in a hamper; facemasks, smellies, lotions, hot chocolate, slippers, hot water bottles... Are you saying that your response is how they think and I'm actually an awful cheap-skate friend despite those things racking up about £40-£50 in total? Jeez. Thanks.

You sound extremely ungrateful and if it really bothers you that much then say something to him but I wouldn't expect a great reaction.

Not all presents have to be expensive to be good. Sometimes small, cheap and sentimental is better.

Which would be fine if that's what he'd Done. But he's bought crapper stuff and cheaper that she can't use
Mybalconyiscracking · 21/12/2021 16:06

I would say “You haven’t really just bought my presents from B&M have you?”
Then give him eye contact for a few seconds and leave it..
This would have my DH scurrying into John Lewis as fast as his legs wouldn’t carry him.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 21/12/2021 16:08

Well, does he have budget constraints and does he normally buy you rubbish presents?

Sometimes, we all get a duff present. He might have thought it was well thought out.

'l've bought him expensive things and l've got b and m in return ' does sound a bit snobby though. If he has a well paid job and plenty of time to give thought to these things, fair enough. Some people just aren't good at present selection!