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Original poster

tat from B&M for christmas

287 replies

tatfrombandm · 21/12/2021 15:18

This didn't happen today but I've been feeling somewhat unreasonably cross at DP for about a week now as I know I'm being ungreatful, some people get nothing. I didn't know the bags in the hall were for christmas so I had a peek to see where things go to put it away, but as they appeared to be gifts I didn't touch them. DP had just come back from B&M and was in bed with netflix. DP later tells me not to look in the bags as they're presents from me. They are cheap, and unthoughtful gifts ie low end chocolates, cheap shower products that will make me itch (he knows I've got sensitive skin) And I'd rather he hadn't got me anything at all as I get chocolate every other week anyway in the main supermarket shop. I'm not sure what the purpose of this thread is other than complaining but I suppose you lot can use this thread for complaining about tat from B&M. And for the record the presents I got for him were well thought out and expensive

OP posts:
SunshineCake1 · 21/12/2021 16:30

@tatfrombandm

For those suggesting to return his presents, I don't have the heart to, and they are under the tree wrapped, he has seen them
Come on. Tough that he's seen them. He's treating you like you're not important and you are letting him!!
phishy · 21/12/2021 16:32

@Chickychickydodah

Some of us “poorer” people like stuff from B& M 🤷‍♀️😡
I love a bit of B&M when chosen by me, but can you really not see why OP would be disappointed with cheaper than usual hot chocolate and chocolate and toiletries?
AMerryNickelChristmas · 21/12/2021 16:32

@Chickychickydodah

Some of us “poorer” people like stuff from B& M 🤷‍♀️😡
It's not stuff from b&m , it's crap ffrom b&m tthat she can't use and is cheaper than the brand they get in ttheir normal shop
LowlandLucky · 21/12/2021 16:32

I know my present this year will be a box of Lindt, it is what he always buys me. His Present fromm me cost just over £1k, it won't bother me because i know he never chooses decent gifts but i buy whatever i want and take the money from his wallet. In this case OP you either have to tell him that you don't want tat because he will keep buying it, or do what i do

SnarkyBag · 21/12/2021 16:33

@Chickychickydodah

Some of us “poorer” people like stuff from B& M 🤷‍♀️😡
It’s not really about you though 🤷‍♀️ Not even really about it being cheap tat. My friend gets a hideously expensive perfume she doesn’t like every Xmas bought last minute on Christmas Eve because her DH is too lazy to put thought into it so just throws money at it and expects a fan fare at the luxury gift he’s bought.
Squeezita · 21/12/2021 16:34

@LowlandLucky and what did you get for yourself with his wallet?

SunshineCake1 · 21/12/2021 16:35

@Chickychickydodah

Some of us “poorer” people like stuff from B& M 🤷‍♀️😡
That isn't the point of the thread and is an unnecessary comment.
knittingaddict · 21/12/2021 16:36

@OneRuleForThem

You sound like a bit of a snob tbh
No she doesn't.
keysonthetable · 21/12/2021 16:36

Seriously - return at least one of the presents you've bought for him or if you can't return it, remove it from under the tree and hide it away for his birthday or next Christmas.

If he asks, say "You told me you'd bought my present(s) from B&M Home Bargains (be sure to include the full shop name as it beautifully reinforces the point he truly needs to grasp) and I realise by comparison my gifts to you would be embarrassingly generous/thoughtful so I returned one to save you from feeling like a rubbish husband when we open our presents on the 25th"

CrimbleCrumble1 · 21/12/2021 16:37

It wouldn’t bother me.
I keep reading threads about people moaning about what they’ve got for Christmas and it’s not even Christmas yet.

TheCatWearsPrada · 21/12/2021 16:37

He told you last year that he wanted to stop but you went out and got him something anyway then told him. He probably thinks you've got him a token gift so got you a few bits he thought would be useful.

smashingbaubles · 21/12/2021 16:37

@LowlandLucky

I know my present this year will be a box of Lindt, it is what he always buys me. His Present fromm me cost just over £1k, it won't bother me because i know he never chooses decent gifts but i buy whatever i want and take the money from his wallet. In this case OP you either have to tell him that you don't want tat because he will keep buying it, or do what i do
This is quite bleak… why do you excuse him by saying “he never chooses decent gifts?” That’s not an excuse. If you take the money out of his wallet why can’t you give him a list and ask him to wrap things?
SilkLabrador · 21/12/2021 16:38

I don't think my husband has ever been to B&M

thebakeoffwasntasgoodthisyear · 21/12/2021 16:38

B&M is great for chocolate - their Belgian sea shells are gorgeous

My DH is worse. He’ll buy me more expensive “useful” items and then finds it hilarious eg steam mop, air fryer, basically stuff I don’t want.

REP22 · 21/12/2021 16:39

I had never heard of B&M before, so looked it up online.

Yes; I feel your pain @tatfrombandm... Maybe you should give him a list of three or four definites you'd like and ask him to pick one of them...

Make yourself your usual hot chocolate and a lovely steaming mug of the gifted chocotat for him Wink

Hope you have a happy Christmas in any case.

Bookworm20 · 21/12/2021 16:39

I think you need to mention to your DH that you
'Just got off the phone to susan and her DH has bought her cheap chocolates and bubble bath. Can you imagine DH! What a cheap skate. I'd be horrified if you put such little effort into a gift for me. Poor susan, shes really upset. She thinks he really must not love her any more and shes considering divorce. I mean, what a shit gift to give your WIFE!'

PopcornPeacock · 21/12/2021 16:40

I'm really sorry to read of his attitude op, but you know what, I'd take it at face value.

So he doesn't want to do Christmas gift swaps anymore? Fine. Don't buy him anything ever again. Instead, use that money to treat yourself to the gifts YOU would like instead.

Oh, and I'd seriously be considering ditching him. Anyone who tells me I'm too old for anything, let alone Christmas gifts, isn't worth the joy of being in my life.

NameChangeCity123 · 21/12/2021 16:42

I would be annoyed too in all honesty, not because it's from b and m but because it sounds like rubbish quality, generic gifts. He's put no thought into it at all. I would rather he had used the money to buy one better quality present rather than buying lots of wee random bits and pieces to try and bulk out a present

I'm quality over quantity and I don't think it's being snobby as you're not asking him to spend any more money than he would be already

EyesAsGreenAsAFreshPickledToad · 21/12/2021 16:43

@Nickwinkle

Could it be that they're not your main present and they're just 'stocking fillers'? Or maybe he's getting a good selection of stuff together to make a hamper. Just little things that you'd use everyday but sometime's that's better than some flashy, expensive thing you're never gonna use.

For friend's birthdays I usually go to B&M (I wouldn't say their branded stuff is any less than what you buy in a supermarket, FYI) and get loads of little bits to put together in a hamper; facemasks, smellies, lotions, hot chocolate, slippers, hot water bottles... Are you saying that your response is how they think and I'm actually an awful cheap-skate friend despite those things racking up about £40-£50 in total? Jeez. Thanks.

You sound extremely ungrateful and if it really bothers you that much then say something to him but I wouldn't expect a great reaction.

Not all presents have to be expensive to be good. Sometimes small, cheap and sentimental is better.

Good for you and your friend if that’s what she likes.

Not all presents have to be expensive to be good
Why are you spending £50 then? That’s quite a lot of money.

Sometimes small, cheap and sentimental is better
Never heard of anyone getting sentimental over a hot water bottle or slippers.

Suprima · 21/12/2021 16:44

@Nickwinkle

Could it be that they're not your main present and they're just 'stocking fillers'? Or maybe he's getting a good selection of stuff together to make a hamper. Just little things that you'd use everyday but sometime's that's better than some flashy, expensive thing you're never gonna use.

For friend's birthdays I usually go to B&M (I wouldn't say their branded stuff is any less than what you buy in a supermarket, FYI) and get loads of little bits to put together in a hamper; facemasks, smellies, lotions, hot chocolate, slippers, hot water bottles... Are you saying that your response is how they think and I'm actually an awful cheap-skate friend despite those things racking up about £40-£50 in total? Jeez. Thanks.

You sound extremely ungrateful and if it really bothers you that much then say something to him but I wouldn't expect a great reaction.

Not all presents have to be expensive to be good. Sometimes small, cheap and sentimental is better.

There is nothing sentimental about B&M tat.

These presents are not small and sentimental- they are shit.

CSJobseeker · 21/12/2021 16:45

@Fallagain

Go and talk to him now. Don’t let this fester. Gibe him the opportunity to sort it.
100% this. Getting B&M crap for Xmas is rubbish
NameChangeCity123 · 21/12/2021 16:47

@sarah13xx

‘Tat from b&m’ is the most accurate description of the gift I receive from my in laws every year 😂 I might be ungrateful but I’d never say it out loud, only saying it on here 🙈 I’d rather they didn’t get me anything or literally just get me a plant or something rather than padding a present out with random clutter for the cupboards. This year for my birthday I got the exact same body spray gift set that is still sitting unopened in my cupboard from last year. I can’t bring myself to bin it or give it to charity as that seems harsh but then what else am I supposed to do with it? For my birthday they gave me the usual ‘tat’ as you’ve put it as well as a pain-free hair removal tool for eyebrows etc 🤔 I opened the present when my sister was there (they weren’t btw) and she was like omg they got you a face shaver!! 😂 Like one of those jml type ones from b&m. The worst of it is the fact they really build up the present every year like you’re going to love this then ask about 15 times for weeks after if you liked it 🤔 it’s only this year I’m really starting to grudge it as MIL requests rather large very specific gifts and I now don’t involve myself in buying or wrapping them since she asked to return the lovely bedding I bought her the first year I did her present and it was all wrapped beautifully so clearly from your son’s girlfriend and not your son! She took cash from DH in exchange for giving the present back which I thought was just so cheeky given the utter s*e she gives us every year. This year we have the biggest box you’ve ever seen in the hall and when I asked what it was DH said it’s a chair for his mum’s dressing room that she chose. Meanwhile I’m getting crap like a face shaver in return 🤔😂
Good god. I think everyone has at least one person that does this 🙈 don't feel bad, I go through all my stuff as I'm putting it away and either make a pile for regifting later on if it's nIce but not 'me' and a pile for Charity as we just don't have the space to be keeping tat we don't need or want. I'd honestly rather people just gave us a bottle of wine or something if they insist on buying stuff like that and at least that way we would Get use out of it and they would probably save money too.
CSJobseeker · 21/12/2021 16:49

@Nickwinkle

Could it be that they're not your main present and they're just 'stocking fillers'? Or maybe he's getting a good selection of stuff together to make a hamper. Just little things that you'd use everyday but sometime's that's better than some flashy, expensive thing you're never gonna use.

For friend's birthdays I usually go to B&M (I wouldn't say their branded stuff is any less than what you buy in a supermarket, FYI) and get loads of little bits to put together in a hamper; facemasks, smellies, lotions, hot chocolate, slippers, hot water bottles... Are you saying that your response is how they think and I'm actually an awful cheap-skate friend despite those things racking up about £40-£50 in total? Jeez. Thanks.

You sound extremely ungrateful and if it really bothers you that much then say something to him but I wouldn't expect a great reaction.

Not all presents have to be expensive to be good. Sometimes small, cheap and sentimental is better.

It's got absolutely nothing to do with cost.

You choose to spend £50 on 10 cheap items that cannot possibly be personal or sentimental (because they don't sell that kind of stuff at B&M). It's not cheap, but it is pretty thoughtless. It's the kind of stuff you'd give in a secret santa.

I would rather have 1 thing that cost £10, but that showed a bit of thought about what I would enjoy. A mug with one of my favourite views printed on it. A framed photograph or print of a great trip. A nice woolly hat that matches my favourite handbag. A pair of gloves to go running in.

B&M do not sell nice personal gifts. They just don't.

tatfrombandm · 21/12/2021 16:50

This reply has been deleted

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diddl · 21/12/2021 16:50

When he said that he didn't want to do presents this year Op, what did you say?

If you agreed not to then I think it's a shame that he's rushed out to buy stuff that you don't want just because you changed your mind.