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Original poster

I've been invited for Xmas but I've just realised I'm being expected to bring Christmas

278 replies

Longcovid21 · 20/12/2021 13:38

A family member who I have a history with has invited me and the kids for Christmas. I get here after a 90 mile drive and the place is a shithole. The kitchen table is covered in crap and clutter. I've just had to throw out some rotting food in a pan. I've brought the kids presents with me and will have to organise all the Xmas day food too. No decorations are up. I'll have to do that too. The kids are oblivious to all the stress I'm under trying to facilitate that and my parents have booked an air b n b nearby for the day after boxing day so I can't just up and leave. I feel full of rage right now.

OP posts:
HoardingSamphireSaurus · 20/12/2021 13:39

Go home. Invite your parents to yours, if you want. But tell them what you found and just go home!

MiniatureHotdog · 20/12/2021 13:39

Book yourself an air bnb too??

HoardingSamphireSaurus · 20/12/2021 13:40

And still have to clean someone else's house and buy Christmas dinner etc?

PussyCatEatingPigsInBlankets · 20/12/2021 13:40

@HoardingSamphireSaurus

Go home. Invite your parents to yours, if you want. But tell them what you found and just go home!
^This. Just go home.
PuppyMonkey · 20/12/2021 13:40
  1. Retrieve children.
  2. Get back in car.
  3. Drive home.
icedcoffees · 20/12/2021 13:41

Just go back home. Why on earth would you stay and put yourself and your kids through that?

0palescent · 20/12/2021 13:41

I'd go home. I would have expected to contribute to Christmas Dinner. But the cleaning, decorating, and lack of organisation for dinner would be too much.

SocialConnection · 20/12/2021 13:41

Leave. Join the parents in the b&b or head for home. This is not on.

FatOaf · 20/12/2021 13:41

What's the history, why did you go, and - more significantly - why did you go 5 days early?

Icecreamsprinkles · 20/12/2021 13:43

Agree go home . If you are feeling generous take the family member with you .

tiredanddangerous · 20/12/2021 13:43

Are you being held against your will? Put the kids back in the car and go home.

Chickychoccyegg · 20/12/2021 13:43

Absolutely don't do it op, go home, phone your parents and explain, but do not clean, decorate, supply, and cook all the Christmas dinner, that sounds so rubbish.

CactusFlowers · 20/12/2021 13:43

Fuck that. Go home.

RampantIvy · 20/12/2021 13:43

Just go home.

Original poster
Longcovid21 · 20/12/2021 13:44

Go home. Invite your parents to yours, if you want. But tell them what you found and just go home!

Thing is the kids love it here. They don't see the mess and hassle, just big open spaces and a PlayStation. They also love the relative who is larger than life and full of fun but otherwise domestically hopeless. The kids would be devastated if we leave. I am also part owner of this house (long story) so to see the state of it and how uncared for the relative has left it makes me so sad and makes me want to spend my whole Xmas cleaning, like fucking cindarella

OP posts:
StCharlotte · 20/12/2021 13:44

Can you direct your family member in sorting out their own shit?

What on earth made you accept?

NoNameHere12 · 20/12/2021 13:44

Don’t be silly, go home.

NoSquirrels · 20/12/2021 13:44

You absolutely CAN go home again. Your parents and their Air BnB are not compelling reasons to stay.

If you cannot face a showdown, then I am sure you’ve started to feel peaky, a LFT has showed a possible faint line and you’d better isolate at home…

IhateBoswell · 20/12/2021 13:45

Ugh how shit for you 😞

ABCeasyasdohrayme · 20/12/2021 13:45

That sounds horrendous.

I would make my excuses and leave. Your kids deserve a lovely Christmas, and it doesn't sound like anyone will get one there.

You can tell your parents your reasons and they can decide what to do for themselves.

We have so few christmasses as children, I wouldn't be sacrificing one of them just to appease someone who obviously doesn't give a shit about any of you.

LagunaBubbles · 20/12/2021 13:45

You don't have to do anything. Just go home, why on earth would you put up with this!

EscapeTheCastle · 20/12/2021 13:45

It's very clear what you need to do. You can go now or maybe tomorrow morning.
If its as bad as you describe I'm guessing sleeping arrangements must be disorganised as well.

NoSquirrels · 20/12/2021 13:46

OK, cross post.

Strong words with relative.
Send them shopping.
Tomorrow and next day they clean alongside you.

Drink much alcohol and leave the kids to Uncle/Auntie X to sort out.

MatildaTheCat · 20/12/2021 13:48

By staying and doing all the work you are demonstrating to your relative (sibling?) that this is ok. The proper reaction is to either leave (kids won’t be that devastated if you can still rustle up Christmas at home) or you lose your shit with the relative and insist they shape up.

Do NOT just suck it up and do all the work. Your setting a precedent that all of this is ok.

NativityDreaming · 20/12/2021 13:49

Don’t accept this behaviour, leave and make a wonderful Christmas in your own place. Stay long enough to let the children play but don’t clean, don’t cook.