There are no such things as Empaths

[Seafog]

Ffs.
Empathy ....some of us have more empathy than others, but it doesn't make you a fucking empath!
If you have sympathy for people, would you go around saying you are a sympath?

Just say , "I have so much empathy" or "I am really sensitive to people's emotional state."

Making up a word to try and make yourself sound more special makes me think you're attention seeking twat.

AIBU?

@WorraLiberty

Those quizzes do make me laugh

'Are you and introvert or an extrovert? Take our handy quiz and find out'.

Errr there's a stark bloody difference between the two - no-one should need a quiz to find the answer! 🤦‍♀️

In fairness a lot of people don’t understand these terms properly. They confuse being introverted with being quiet or shy. I’ve lost count the number of people I’ve explained the real difference to that had no idea

I would never have called myself an empath, but wonder if hypervigilant/hypersensitive to (mostly negative) emotional cues or something is true. I don’t really know how unusual my responses are as I’ve never talked to people about them, but in my 40s now I’m beginning to suspect it’s not normal to get off buses because you can’t bear when conversations between other passengers feel as if they’re going slightly wrong, or to feel emotionally drained by the interactions of people you’ve never met on a daily basis. Mothers struggling with their children, a politician losing a vote in the press, an elderly person trying to make conversation in a shop and seeming a bit lonely… all can feel so painful I need to get away. I think I probably seem quite together, even cold, in actually emotional situations, as I’m trying so hard to react properly and do the right thing for the people around me, so not sure people would realise how thin skinned I actually am to all emotion!

IME self proclaimed ‘empaths’ are the most self centered people going.

@Circe32

There is a lot of BS around this. I am clairsentient, which can also be confused with empathy. All it means that I am particularly sensitive to other people's moods and situations. For example, I once worked with one person who was negative ALL THE TIME, an energy vampire, if you will. I found myself feeling completely drained working with her, no matter how positively I tried to interact with her. From the lack of 'good morning' to her team, through the bitching about senior management and to the constant sniping about the workplace and her team and other colleagues, it was a completely depressing and demoralising experience. I attempted to mitigate some of it by deliberately being over-cheerful, but it didn't always help. I have never self-proclaimed super-sensitivity or empathy, but this post has moved me to respond. As a postscript, I have long suffered depression and have been on medication for that for some time. I am generally a positive person, unless I come into prolonged contact with someone who is extremely negative. I hope that not everyone who is reading this post is judgemental. On the plus side, being in the company of someone who is genuinely happy can be an absolute joy!

What you're describing is totally normal - most people react in the same way to being around someone who is depressed/negative. It's not a unique thing, humans are social pack animals, sensitivity to other people's feelings and emotions is a really important survival trait.

I think there are some really unkind posts here although I do appreciate that the loud and proud Facebook empath is well worth an eyeroll 😁 That said, to me it's just hypervigilance which is usually linked to a survival need in childhood i.e. reading moods and atmospheres because your safety relies on it.

@Wordsmithery

Many posters here are missing the point. Being an empath (and yes I am one) means having an abnormal response to other's feelings. I can walk into a room and feel an atmosphere instantly. I sense latent anger in people and unresolved issues within a group of people. It's not making things about me, me, me (if anything, it's the opposite) and it's exhausting and it's horrible. Even a stranger crying provokes a visceral reaction in me. Mumsnetters, be kind. Just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean it's not a real thing.

And how do you know you can sense ‘latent’ anger? The very meaning of latent is hidden, concealed.

Or do you just decide someone’s angry and repeatedly ask ‘what’s wrong? What’s wrong? Are you angry? Are you in a bad mood?’

Because if they are already showing signs of the anger it isn’t latent. If they aren’t until you badger them you’re not sensing it but creating it.

As for a stranger crying exhausting you, maybe think of how it’s feeling for them. I imagine much worse if they’re crying to a stranger.

The 'empaths' who say they can walk into a room full of people and sense something has happened.

Yes of course you can, that's completely normal.

Have you ever heard the phrase "You could cut the atmosphere with a knife"?

@CatJumperTwat

Just like the last thread of this nature, the self-declared "empaths" show themselves to be the most self-involved, tone deaf people in society. So funny.

Yep. Crazy how none of them seem to be soaking up my extreme irritation at their insistence that their are special and can sense someone else’s emotions. It’s just so arrogant to insist you know exactly how someone else is feeling when they themselves haven’t revealed how they’re feeling. Or to imply you’re the only person who can sense or is affected by a bad atmosphere. Everyone’s affected by it, they just don’t somehow make it all about them.

@WorraLiberty

The 'empaths' who say they can walk into a room full of people and sense something has happened.

Yes of course you can, that's completely normal.

Have you ever heard the phrase "You could cut the atmosphere with a knife"?

When I was about 8, I was convinced I was psychic because I always got this sense the doorbell was about to ring just before it did.

Then I grew up a little and realised I heard the footsteps on the driveway.

Can I ask the empath sceptics to consider reading some of the replies with a slightly more open mind? There is post after post calling empaths self-centred and making it 'all about them' yet several replies have explained how this is the exact opposite of what a genuine empath does! There are also several posts saying that empaths think they are special, yet replies have also explained why this is actually an untruth (we are all equally 'special' and 'unspecial', just different). It's really unkind to call others self absorbed or other similar phrases, yet not be open minded enough to actually read and consider the replies! Thank you to those who have been willing to accept that there are things in others that we personally cannot ralte to or understand. It might also be useful for some folk to read up on the terms empath, clairsentient, introvert, extrovert, and ambivert. Take care all.

Being alert to danger doesn't mean you make other people's unhappiness all about you which is what empaths do.

@MindyStClaire my mum thought our dog was psychic as right before we came home from school, he'd start pacing and going to the front door.

It transpired he'd linked the theme tune to Countdown with the time we came home 🤣🤣

I'm not going to be kind to people who are so self absorbed they use made up terms to describe themselves.

The internet is both a blessing and a curse

@Elodeastar

Can I ask the empath sceptics to consider reading some of the replies with a slightly more open mind? There is post after post calling empaths self-centred and making it 'all about them' yet several replies have explained how this is the exact opposite of what a genuine empath does! There are also several posts saying that empaths think they are special, yet replies have also explained why this is actually an untruth (we are all equally 'special' and 'unspecial', just different). It's really unkind to call others self absorbed or other similar phrases, yet not be open minded enough to actually read and consider the replies! Thank you to those who have been willing to accept that there are things in others that we personally cannot ralte to or understand. It might also be useful for some folk to read up on the terms empath, clairsentient, introvert, extrovert, and ambivert. Take care all.

So anyone who believes 'empaths' aren't real are simply closed minded?

Does that go for everything?

Santa Claus? The tooth fairy? The Easter bunny?

@Clymene

Being alert to danger doesn't mean you make other people's unhappiness all about you which is what empaths do.

Are you saying empaths make things 'all about them'? If so then no, they don't, they do sometimes have to withdraw a bit or be more guarded, but that's it. Ultimately don't we all have to make our own emotional well being a bit 'about ourselves' anyway, we can only help others if we are in a position to do so (not drained).

@Elodeastar

Can I ask the empath sceptics to consider reading some of the replies with a slightly more open mind? There is post after post calling empaths self-centred and making it 'all about them' yet several replies have explained how this is the exact opposite of what a genuine empath does! There are also several posts saying that empaths think they are special, yet replies have also explained why this is actually an untruth (we are all equally 'special' and 'unspecial', just different). It's really unkind to call others self absorbed or other similar phrases, yet not be open minded enough to actually read and consider the replies! Thank you to those who have been willing to accept that there are things in others that we personally cannot ralte to or understand. It might also be useful for some folk to read up on the terms empath, clairsentient, introvert, extrovert, and ambivert. Take care all.

Clairsentience literally means recognising feelings. There is a person upthread who says she is one because she feels miserable when with unhappy people and happy with cheerful people.

This is the definition of thinking you’re special, because you’re implying that a basic human feeling is special to yourself only, so special that it needs to be identified with a term like ‘clairsentience.’ Everyone feels happier with happy people than unhappy people. Most of us don’t feel the need to broadcast it.

"So anyone who believes 'empaths' aren't real are simply closed minded?

Does that go for everything?

Santa Claus? The tooth fairy? The Easter bunny?"

Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are fictional.
Being an empath is a character/personality trait.

Also, suggesting that folk be more open minded isn't concluding they are closed minded, just that they are a bit more open.

Although I do think people that feel the need to label themselves/spend hours deciding if their introverted or extroverted/talk about how empathetic they are are generally very self obsessed people. It’s just called having a personality. We’ve all got one and most people just get on with life.

*they’re

Can we all just stop and remember that it was not an empath who started this post? It was not an empath who started shouting about being an empath. It was someone, joined by others, who started criticising empaths, and a few empaths spoke up to try and address some of the false claims. I have still to receive any sort of answer why it bothers so many people so much that empaths are just quietly going about their business. Few actual empaths shout about it, in all honesty! Those people who (annoyingly) claim to be something, and then go on to prove the opposite is true, come in many shapes and forms - this is not something unique to those claiming to be empaths!

There's being open minded and then there's being so open minded your brains have fallen out.

Other people's moods and feelings affect everyone.

It's called being human.

@Kanaloa

Although I do think people that feel the need to label themselves/spend hours deciding if their introverted or extroverted/talk about how empathetic they are are generally very self obsessed people. It’s just called having a personality. We’ve all got one and most people just get on with life.

We all assign labels to ourselves, intentionally or not. I agree that we shouldn't become overly obsessed with it, but it is also helpful to know what makes us tick.

@WorraLiberty

There's being open minded and then there's being so open minded your brains have fallen out.

Other people's moods and feelings affect everyone.

It's called being human.

Can I ask why you feel the need for the constant insults though? Why does it bother you so much that you feel the need to be rude about it?

Having read this thread I'm sure n stitches, every empath, on here and I have had the most unfortunate position of ever meeting talk utter word salad and rubbish

You are not special no matter how much you proclaim it. I can promise you virtually every other person has visual,verbal and feeling when they walk in a room/situation. It does not make you special, we just don't make the situation about us. We can all sense when some one is down, upset , angry ect we have had our entire lives to learn the unconscious clues we pickup on. It does not make you special because you proclaim it and turn it around to affect yourself more.

For those claiming your hypersensitive to these clues, what is your benchmark how are you defining this. How do you know your are picking up better than anyone else apart from being the only one to proclaim it to others constantly.

It's a shane you never pick up the clues from others that your pissing them off and they wish you would shut the fuck up and it's not all about you.

@Dottybackorcid

Having read this thread I'm sure n stitches, every empath, on here and I have had the most unfortunate position of ever meeting talk utter word salad and rubbish

You are not special no matter how much you proclaim it. I can promise you virtually every other person has visual,verbal and feeling when they walk in a room/situation. It does not make you special, we just don't make the situation about us. We can all sense when some one is down, upset , angry ect we have had our entire lives to learn the unconscious clues we pickup on. It does not make you special because you proclaim it and turn it around to affect yourself more.

For those claiming your hypersensitive to these clues, what is your benchmark how are you defining this. How do you know your are picking up better than anyone else apart from being the only one to proclaim it to others constantly.

It's a shane you never pick up the clues from others that your pissing them off and they wish you would shut the fuck up and it's not all about you.

How many times do we have to state that no empaths actually think they ARE special - there is just a part of their personality that they are more aware of! Please actually read the replies.