There are no such things as Empaths

[Seafog]

Ffs.
Empathy ....some of us have more empathy than others, but it doesn't make you a fucking empath!
If you have sympathy for people, would you go around saying you are a sympath?

Just say , "I have so much empathy" or "I am really sensitive to people's emotional state."

Making up a word to try and make yourself sound more special makes me think you're attention seeking twat.

AIBU?

O wad some power...

You've misunderstood what an empath is OP.

I've told no one and make no drama about it, but it explains why I'm so exhausted and can't detach from other people's upsets and traumas. I have to distance myself quite frequently because it's a hateful experience

Sorry to pick on this post before I've read the whole thread, but do you not think that this means you could benefit from some counselling? Or some sort of mental health support? That reads to me like someone needs support to not be so reliant on external expressions of emotion.

Also - no, I'm not an empath, but I am empathetic. IMO it's another one of those words dreamt up to allow people to identify as something and be put into a particular box.

Of course people feel more than others. It’s not that shocking

Is there any need for said people to label themselves as Empaths? They could just as easily say I'm an empathetic person?

The arrogance of it either way, to think you feel, suffer along with or even more than another human being!

They are the one who piously intones "I know how you feel" and adroitly steers the conversation back to herself and her own experiences.

They are the ghoul who pores over every salacious detail of disturbing news stories and then boasts abour how deeply upset you are.

They are the keening women whom Jesus drove away from the deathbed in disgust.

Give a solid, helpful, practical friend, or a detached professional with a cold fishy eye, 100 times over, rather than a bloody attention-seeking fuelled-by-drama "empath." Vampires!

@DroopyClematis

Sorry, but isn't an empath a character ( Deana Troy) from Star Trek? Ie someone who reads minds?

I don’t read minds exactly. I sense people’s emotional state!

How lovely.

@PermanentTemporary

I'd be very embarrassed if I met someone who said they were an empath, because I'd assume they could tell I had a huge surge of cynicism happening.

Ah, a cynipath! I'm one too, I'm afraid. People who claim they're an empath make me cringe and I've told a few there's no such thing.

In the first Star Trek series, one episode featured an empath, who could absorb other peoples injuries by taking them on herself before they are healed. Why can't the so-called 'empaths' here do that? At least it would be more helpful then just 'feeling others pain'.

Do you eat animals? If yes, you are not an empath.

'You can guarantee that if anyone describes themselves as being something they are usually the exact opposite.
I know someone who tells me they always think of others and help others. They are the most self absorbed person I know.'

Yep. I knew someone who claimed to be a 'workaholic' and a 'perfectionist'. She was neither. She was, in fact, a lazy sow who wasn't very good at her job.

I believe that most people have capacity for / are given to empathy to a greater or lesser extent, and may or may not respond to or act upon their empathic 'feels' depending on inclination, or how busy they are or the effort involved etc.
I've two self-asserted empaths in close contact, and I've noticed three things they have in common: they share a tendency to project, 'bypass' any notion of a decision-making process by insisting they make all decisions based on intuition or gut feeling and also frequently offer unsolicited advice.

@AngelinaFibres

Supposedly empathetic and flaming virtue signalling people who always appear with petrol station flowers/ teddy bears to place outside the burned out house of someone they didn't even know existed yesterday. Hopefully if they look suitably sad they will get themselves on the tv news or the front of a tabloid Look at me I really CARE. Can you see me caring , can you ,can you .

I know someone like this,her Facebook page is filled with this shit and she's a nasty piece of work.

@Builtthiscityonsausagerolls

I'm exceptionally empathetic in that I pick up on moods and atmospheres more than 'normal' people. It's nothing special of woo though, it comes from an abusive childhood where I had to read what mood my father was in

I get that. You had to train yourself to read peoples faces, their posture, the way they speak in order to know if you are safe or not.

We have all done that to different degrees and quite a few of us are able to read a room the moment we enter it. It doesn't make us 'empaths' though as there's no such thing.

It’s not a made up thing though, psychiatrists talk about it and we empaths (yes me lol) largely attract narcissist’s, which is just something I’ve learned recently and it’s been such an eye opener for me. The label of being narcissistic, along with the info on it, is everywhere nowadays, and it needs to be because we need to educate people, especially the GenX group, on narcissism as they can be dangerous, especially if you thwart any agenda they may have.

I follow a few psychotherapists on TikTok and they only speak of narcissism, it’s mainly based on narcissistic romantic relationships and there is some stuff about narc parents but I’m grateful it’s all out there, there isn’t nearly enough info on empaths though and there should be seen as narcs like us to make them look good, after all it’s all about the narc and nobody else!

The only issue I have with all the narc info out there these days is that everybody’s exes are now being told “you’re a narcissist”, and I thought narcissism was rare but according to every TT female I follow, then they have an ex that is one!

Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder the same thing as being a narc ?

@Luredbyapomegranate

I’d never heard this till today when someone used it to describe themselves.

Is it.. an actual thing? Presumably not??

Nor me ! first time I realised it could actually be a real thing that people described themselves is, woah, all of ten minutes ago when I started reading this. Good to be enlightened though, some good responses.

I find it strange that some of you don’t believe in being an empath, it’s not just about having empathy, there’s so much more to it.

Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder the same thing as being a narc ?

No. Generally, saying your ex is a narc means you fell out with them when you broke up. It’s as close to a clinical diagnosis as somebody saying “oh I’m really OCD about locking the back door”.

I'm afraid you lost me when you stated your source as psychotherapists from Tik Tok.

@DontTellThemYourNamePike

How do these 'empaths' know they're 'empaths'? How do they KNOW they feel any different from anyone else? Do people say 'Wow, you're so empathetic' as said empath wails into their cornflakes with the sheer weight of their emotions?

I was just going to ask basically this. How do you know other people don’t feel exactly the same but they just don’t feel the need to go on about how incredibly tuned in emotionally they are?

@Elodeastar

In response to the person who said 'empaths make it all about them', this is really not true at all! Some empaths struggle with the fact that they are so sensitive to others emotions, and might not know how to cope with that, so end up having to withdraw completely or speak up when it's not appropriate. Part of picking up others emotions is being sensitive to the fact that they are not your emotions, and dealing with them in a respectful and sensitive way, that isn't always easy though. Trust me, I'd rather not pick up on others emotions as much as I do, but I do, and I have learned to cope with it in a variety of ways. We are all different.

I suppose this is what I’d find a bit arrogant and would be quite cynical of. The presumption that somehow you are ‘picking up’ other people’s feelings/emotions and that it’s exhausting/something you have to cope with.

Firstly you have no way to really know how someone else is feeling - everyone feels differently about things, secondly it isn’t really about you? If you’re genuinely ‘exhausted’ because you think you’re tuning into someone else’s emotions then you need to step back.

@100problems

I'm afraid you lost me when you stated your source as psychotherapists from Tik Tok.

Just because someone is on TikTok doesn’t make them fake or not professional! So many professionals are on that, it’s a brilliant source of information about anything you want, and it’s not just for kids incase you are going to say this!

There’s even “the dickdoc on TikTok” speaking about all things dick!!

Empaths get very drained when around certain types of people and their energies, moods, vibes, etc, etc, and some people aren’t affected by this, the ones that are are empaths.

@Circe32

There is a lot of BS around this. I am clairsentient, which can also be confused with empathy. All it means that I am particularly sensitive to other people's moods and situations. For example, I once worked with one person who was negative ALL THE TIME, an energy vampire, if you will. I found myself feeling completely drained working with her, no matter how positively I tried to interact with her. From the lack of 'good morning' to her team, through the bitching about senior management and to the constant sniping about the workplace and her team and other colleagues, it was a completely depressing and demoralising experience. I attempted to mitigate some of it by deliberately being over-cheerful, but it didn't always help. I have never self-proclaimed super-sensitivity or empathy, but this post has moved me to respond. As a postscript, I have long suffered depression and have been on medication for that for some time. I am generally a positive person, unless I come into prolonged contact with someone who is extremely negative. I hope that not everyone who is reading this post is judgemental. On the plus side, being in the company of someone who is genuinely happy can be an absolute joy!

Is this a joke? I genuinely can’t tell.

If not, do you really think you’re ‘clairsentient’ because being around bitchy moaning people gets you down and being round jolly happy people cheers you up? That’s just being a person. Even dogs can sense the mood and will be happy when they see happy excited people and sad if people are grumpy or moody.

Some people think they’re the main character of the planet earth.

The only person I’ve met who openly talks about being an empath is someone who is very nice and kind but is also very egocentric and full of self importance and I actually think she is not an empath particularly, because she is so wrapped up in what she thinks and feels. I think she projects her feelings rather than genuinely identifying the feelings of others. She once told me she found I difficult even walking down the street sometimes and had to close her mind off because other peoples pain was too much for her.

Forgive me, but that sounds actually like someone who is very self involved and giving a reason why she simply CANNOT bear the delicacies of other peoples lives because it’s all actually about her.

So yeah. I think I’m an emotionally intelligent person and I hope I’m sensitive to other peoples feelings. But declaring yourself an empath is kind of wanky behavior.