There are no such things as Empaths

[Seafog]

Ffs.
Empathy ....some of us have more empathy than others, but it doesn't make you a fucking empath!
If you have sympathy for people, would you go around saying you are a sympath?

Just say , "I have so much empathy" or "I am really sensitive to people's emotional state."

Making up a word to try and make yourself sound more special makes me think you're attention seeking twat.

AIBU?

@Kanaloa lol at the “main character” words! Are you a TikTok fan?! Do you understand the assignment?

@ScottishAngryBird

Empaths get very drained when around certain types of people and their energies, moods, vibes, etc, etc, and some people aren’t affected by this, the ones that are are empaths.

So if you have ever felt drained by somebody, you’re an empath?

That seems like the bar is set so low as to be meaningless

@ScottishAngryBird

I know about these things I am very cool and young. No matter what my kids say.

I don’t understand the assignment of being an empath though! Presumably it’s just all screaming at the Sistine chapel. Or the national gallery. You know, because you feel the art so much more than normal people.

@Aderyn21

Forgive my ignorance but isn't it normal to feel a great deal of empathy for people? Such that you wouldn't necessarily declare it because most people are the same? The unusual ones are the people who don't experience it?

As an aside, people who constantly tell others how sensitive they are towards other people, probably aren't.

I think the label ‘empath’ - outside science fiction 😀 - is an excessive and distressing ‘condition’

eggshelltherapy.com/empath/

@Changechangychange when you constantly get drained by people’s energies and moods then yes, you’re an empath.

That's everyone then .

[quote Kanaloa]@ScottishAngryBird

I know about these things I am very cool and young. No matter what my kids say.

I don’t understand the assignment of being an empath though! Presumably it’s just all screaming at the Sistine chapel. Or the national gallery. You know, because you feel the art so much more than normal people.[/quote]
I keep quoting TikTok lines and people without the app look at me as if I’m mental!! God ive never loved social media so much until this year when I downloaded.

All the kids are embarrassed but there are some amazing people on there doing great things and educating us about lots of things! It’s amazing...well it’s good!

I have a colleague who’s an empath, except she’s not, she’s an over invested, pain in the arse drama llama who should focus more on her work that on how special she is.

@logsonlogsoff

I have a colleague who’s an empath, except she’s not, she’s an over invested, pain in the arse drama llama who should focus more on her work that on how special she is.

Real empaths hate drama so it sounds like this colleague of yours just ‘diagnosed’ herself with it! Lol

People who go round announcing to everyone at every opportunity just how amazing they are are just twats.

There's something rather narcissistic about taking every opportunity to broadcast how you're just so very much more caring than everyone else and how you really feel other people's pain.

It's normally followed by how hard other people's situations are for you and imo is about using other people's tragedies to get attention for yourself. Oh I'm just so upset everyone come focus on how I'm feeling. Making yourself the centre of someone else's story has sod all to do with empathy.

I think that everyone has the capacity for empathy the same as everyone has the capacity for narcissism. It is how much attention or care that we give to others' emotional states that is key here. I think that the term empath has been constructed to explain someone who becomes overly preoccupied with the emotional states of others. They are not more empathetic, they are more dysregulated by the emotions of others. The emotional message is the emotional message - it is the recipient that determines how much attention focus and reciprocal emotional response they give to it.
Some early experiences such as trauma can make people more hypervigilent to the emotional states of others (as a survival response due to having been subjected to the chaotic emotional states of others at a time of relative dependency and needing to stay ahead of those emotional states to know how to protect oneself). Early trauma can also diminish the capacity for developing skills such as distress tolerance and knowing how to regulate one’s own emotions due to the lack of an effective co-regulatory experience from a responsible caregiver in childhood.

The term narcissist also plays into this paradigm. “Toxic” behaviour (although inappropriate and unpleasant and causes suffering), is often the extreme expression of the survival behaviours we all have the capacity for – most of us just tend to have more adaptive ways of managing our feelings rather than manipulating the actions of others, belittling others to elevate our sense of self and extracting hurtful revenge to soothe ourselves after a perceived wrong.

Labelling or categorising human behaviour as either empath or narcissist or whatever else does little to address the underlying issue – that is – most people ore fucked up, most of us have managed to learn fairly pro-social or adaptive ways to manage our fuckedupedness but some of us still haven’t and it’s easier to diagnose and identify with a label, than look inwards grow and heal. We need to move towards a more collective understanding of the factors that humans need to thrive and build a society around that, rather than label ourselves as the expression of the survival responses we have developed in order to cope in a world that is not fit for human flourishing.

So no, I don't think you are being unreasonable - I don't think there is such thing as an empath per se, as in are some people empathic beacons, are more in tune with others and that this is a special type of gift. I think largely being overwhelmed by the emotions of others signals that someone struggles to know how much attention or focus to give to the emotions of others and how to regulate their own emotions in response to the emotions of others. We are all wired to feel others' emotions, that is what mirror neurons are for, it is what we do with that data that helps inform our next action or response. We can act in a connected, loving, and humane manner without becoming overly preoccupied with others' emotions - in fact, I would argue we are better at it if we don't.

I always thought it was a made up term for people to feel unique.

The ones I met seemed to be either co dependant, people pleasing problem from some childhood trauma that made them always on edge anticipating the moods of others to avoid punishment.

The other types were self-absorbed twats to like to tell others what they are thinking or pretend to know what others are thinking.

YANBU

My ex refers to himself this way. I actually think he lacks empathy and can't easily put himself in other peoples shoes.

My ex used to, too.
It meant he could be an arse to me, because he was so concerned with Bob up the roads issues.

I went on a date with a guy who declared himself to be an empath. This was pointed out to me several times during the date. He also lectured me on several reasons why 9/11 was an inside job, I shouldn’t have clapped for the NHS during the first lockdown and he referred to people as “sheeple” 🙄. I could not get out of there quick enough.

Same bloke, I reckon.

@CoedenNadolig

Empath = over involved, over invested, busy body drama queen/king in my experience.

Twat works also.

Exactly this !

@Builtthiscityonsausagerolls

A few years ago I remember coming in late to work and thinking the atmosphere was very tense. I said asked what I'd missed, 5 of my 7 colleagues looked at me blankly. It turned out another collegue had cornered the boss early and handed in her notice that hadn't been well received. No-one else had picked up on it.

There's been a few situations like that. But it's not some kind of special mental ability, like I said earlier it's being hyper sensitive to non verbal cues that you get if you grown up in an unstable environment.

I don't know why this example is the one that's got under my skin, but it has as I pace the floors with a teething baby...

First of all, surely a true empath would've realised that 5 people were just going about their day as normal and pondering when to stop for a coffee or whatever. That leaves two people, Jane, say, and the boss. At which point surely you realise it's likely something personal to Jane and not any of your business.

Lastly, the point at which it's most obvious that there's something going on with Jane is when she leaves with the boss and then they come back, together or separately, clearly unhappy. I worked in an open plan office for years and still remember that sinking feeling in my stomach of "oh shit, drama afoot". So at least some of the 5 people looking at you blankly were likely playing dumb, because answering out loud to the room "Well, Jane went off with Boss and now they're both in a mood and the rest of us are awkwardly pretending not to notice" isn't exactly appropriate.

This example just doesn't strike me as someone overly aware of the feelings of others, at all.

I think that a lot of you have described anything but an empath, real empaths are nice people and don’t go about telling everyone they are an empath because then when you tell someone, they then ask you ‘what makes someone an empath’ and you tell them and they next thing they declare they are an empath!!

psychologia.co/empathy-test/

This is the link to test if you’re an empath, just incase anyone wants to try for a laugh

Never understood empathy in general so I'll never grasp how someone can feel greater empathy than someone else, does it just mean they're more easily upset than others? Or are better at recognising others emotions? I genuinely have no idea. I have noticed that the word "empath" is used a lot, some people even put it in their social media bio.

I know people who say they are empaths and they certainly feel that they soak up other people's feelings and find it very draining. However, I have found that they are often inaccurate in what they perceive another's feelings to actually be. I'm guessing it may be a combination of hypervigilance and projection when someone is suffering from anxiety for some people.
Like anything else, there will be others who are attracted to the label and will attach it to themselves because they are searching for an identity that makes them feel good in some way.

Many posters here are missing the point. Being an empath (and yes I am one) means having an abnormal response to other's feelings. I can walk into a room and feel an atmosphere instantly. I sense latent anger in people and unresolved issues within a group of people. It's not making things about me, me, me (if anything, it's the opposite) and it's exhausting and it's horrible. Even a stranger crying provokes a visceral reaction in me.
Mumsnetters, be kind. Just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean it's not a real thing.

That is the same for everyone, surely?
You are talking, in my opinion, about 99.9 percent of people.
We all pick up on atmospheres, unspoken issues, conflict.
How many times are the "spidey" senses referred to on here?