There are no such things as Empaths

[Seafog]

Ffs.
Empathy ....some of us have more empathy than others, but it doesn't make you a fucking empath!
If you have sympathy for people, would you go around saying you are a sympath?

Just say , "I have so much empathy" or "I am really sensitive to people's emotional state."

Making up a word to try and make yourself sound more special makes me think you're attention seeking twat.

AIBU?

Have you ever been in a group on a bad day, putting on a brave face, but just 1 person picks up on it, no on else?

Everyone else has noticed but has the decency to keep it to themselves but one person keeps yakking on at you about how they can tell you are pissed off.

@PriamFarrl

I have found that the majority of people I meet don't have the deeper feelings I do

How do you know that?

Because they tell me they don't feel the things that I do 🤷‍♀️ it doesn't mean they aren't empathetic as I'm sure they notice the basic emotions in others but they don't feel the way I do around the emotions of others. They can move on easily. I can't.

@ReeseWitherfork

Interesting that being an empath exists in a sci-fi world and not one of psychology.

Happy to believe people who say they are empaths as long as they will believe I am a sith lord.

Strange as my trauma therapist totally believes that some people, particularly those who have suffered trauma, are more sensitive to the emotions of others.

Because they tell me they don't feel the things that I do 🤷‍♀️ it doesn't mean they aren't empathetic as I'm sure they notice the basic emotions in others but they don't feel the way I do around the emotions of others. They can move on easily. I can't.

As PP said, doesn't this just come down to resilience? I'd say this probably means you have an undiagnosed mental health problem, not magic powers.

Because they tell me they don't feel the things that I do

What? They might just be saying that to appease you.

I hate being like this. I cry at everything slightly sad on tv, not sob, but tears come. 24 hours in a and E, call the midwife, any kind of sob story. Pride of Britain leaves me completely in tears! I feel emotional if I see a child cry. It's really annoying to be like it, tbh.

@treesandweeds

I hate being like this. I cry at everything slightly sad on tv, not sob, but tears come. 24 hours in a and E, call the midwife, any kind of sob story. Pride of Britain leaves me completely in tears! I feel emotional if I see a child cry. It's really annoying to be like it, tbh.

Ffs. All of those shows make most people cry. They’re designed to. I have cried just recounting a bit of “Ambulance” in the BBC.

It’s not unusual, it’s literally how many people feel.

[quote CantStartaFireWithoutaSpark]@FriedTomatoe no, it’s not that an empath knows exactly how someone feels, it’s more they are very aware of it, and can feel sad too, or happy, or angry. But it’s comparable at all to the real feelings of the person. Have you ever been in a group on a bad day, putting on a brave face, but just 1 person picks up on it, no on else? You almost can’t believe they did notice.[/quote]
I'm pretty sure 99% of the public can pick up on others feeling sad , happy or angry.

Also you proclaim when your in a group on a bad day putting on a brave face and only one person pickup on it, how do you know? Do you go ask everyone one in the room to see or are they just minding their own dam business or just being polite as possible and not making the situation worse or keeping their heads down. Your not special you just think you are, because your basing your facts on the presumption you know what everyone else is feeling and thinking. Again what is the baseline , how are you measureing your feelings and senses compared to ever other person you meet? Do you interogate them or do you just know. Please I'd love to know.

Strange as my trauma therapist totally believes that some people, particularly those who have suffered trauma, are more sensitive to the emotions of others.

S/he doesn't say you're an empath, then?

@ReeseWitherfork

Because they tell me they don't feel the things that I do 🤷‍♀️ it doesn't mean they aren't empathetic as I'm sure they notice the basic emotions in others but they don't feel the way I do around the emotions of others. They can move on easily. I can't.

As PP said, doesn't this just come down to resilience? I'd say this probably means you have an undiagnosed mental health problem, not magic powers.

I don't have any undiagnosed mental health issue. I have diagnosed mental health issues lol. I have cptsd. Yes, from my experience, some people with trauma based mental health issues can have a deeper level of empathy than the average person. This is why I stated in my first comment on this thread that perhaps me being an empath could be down to cptsd, autism or adhd. I feel I'm very resilient as I tolerate much more than many people do. People tell me to walk away all the time but I can't. This is why I became introverted to stop me from not being able to walk away because it does become consuming what other people feel. And yes, my experience with trauma definitely helps with spotting mental health issues and helps explain to others why they behave in certain manners. For me the not being able to walk away is maybe down to because I know exactly how it feels to be walked away from. So if anything that would tell me there is a deeper level of empathy through experience than the person who can walk away feels.

@CatJumperTwat

Strange as my trauma therapist totally believes that some people, particularly those who have suffered trauma, are more sensitive to the emotions of others.

S/he doesn't say you're an empath, then?

She does lol. Empath is just a word for being more sensitive to the feelings of others to the point it affects someone more than another. It's not a mystical Sci fi being.

When you think about it, con artists are very good at reading people. So are successful poker players. As are "mediums" and "clairvoyants". It is not some great elevating spiritual gift.

As for crying at sad/moving things on TV, I have no words. We. All. Do. I've never got through the Christmas Call the Midwife sobfest in under 4 paper hankies, standing joke in our house.

Sorry, looks like I found some words

@Dottybackorcid ahhhh I have my ways of getting people to open up to me of their own accord 😉 I guess I'm just someone people feel they can open up to about things that they wouldn't to others. A few people have said to me that they don't know why they blurted out the things they did to me. I have had people I have met once telling me their life story and then apologising because they never do that. Must be a strange concept to some people. I wonder why people feel this way around me 🤔 I only go into things when people ask about them so yes, I do mind my own dammed business until someone invites me in.

@treesandweeds

I hate being like this. I cry at everything slightly sad on tv, not sob, but tears come. 24 hours in a and E, call the midwife, any kind of sob story. Pride of Britain leaves me completely in tears! I feel emotional if I see a child cry. It's really annoying to be like it, tbh.

But surely that's half of Mumsnet?

'I'm sobbing here'
'I'm in floods'
'I'm shaking and crying'

All because someone starts a sad or even very happy thread 🤷‍♀️

It doesn't make them 'empaths', it makes them over emotional. Some may also be particularly hormonal.

People tell me to walk away all the time but I can't. This is why I became introverted to stop me from not being able to walk away because it does become consuming what other people feel. And yes, my experience with trauma definitely helps with spotting mental health issues and helps explain to others why they behave in certain manners.
For me the not being able to walk away is maybe down to because I know exactly how it feels to be walked away from. So if anything that would tell me there is a deeper level of empathy through experience than the person who can walk away feels.

I’m going to try and go east here as you’ve said you’re not NT. however, this all plainly shows how unattuned you are. People are literally you to stop. Armchair dioagnosing people with mental health issues and explaining how they feel isn’t generally a welcome thing either.

People probably tolerate it, as you’re probably a nice person. But honestly - knock it off.

YANBU at all.

I think most human beings are very good at picking up on the moods and emotions of others. It's a pretty normal human thing to be able to do. We spend a lot of time around other people from an early age, so we get good at it. Most of us don't bang on about it as though it's a special gift/curse that needs a special Star Trek name though.

@Apiddleawiddle Serious polite question. If you find it all so difficult, why ahhhh I have my ways of getting people to open up to me of their own accord ? Perhaps they would rather you didn't.

ahhhh I have my ways of getting people to open up to me of their own accord

Ahhhh this is so manipulative sounding!

@Allmadeoflego

Oh lord no! You’re not spotting mental health issues. You’re being incredibly fucking crass.

Ofcourse I can. I have mental health issues myself, and in the beginning of my recovery and can spot the signs of it quite easily in some people. Once you have masked your own severe mental trauma for almost 30 years, you know some of the quirks, the language choice, the body language. I don't grasp how that's so hard to understand. Does that mean a therapist couldn't spot the signs either? Be pretty shit at their job if they can't.

She does lol. Empath is just a word for being more sensitive to the feelings of others to the point it affects someone more than another. It's not a mystical Sci fi being.
But "empath" literally isn't a diagnosis of anything. It doesn't exist in the medical world. It exists on star trek and in the marvel universe. Hence my sci fi reference.

Also as for "becoming an introvert"... Not something you chose.

I’m an Empath. I have been told so by two different therapists whom I was seeing while I was trying to process my very dysfunctional, abusive childhood and some very traumatic incidents as an adult. I’d never heard of one before.

I didn’t believe it at first but then it started to make sense. It’s not only being able to put myself in someone else’s shoes and feel it too. I have a 99,9% correct ‘cunt radar’ and I can feel the warmth off good hearted people without even saying a word to them. I can generally also sense when something is going on for people too, even without seeing them for a while and have a very good gut instinct.

I see it as a heightened awareness from my traumatic experiences. I don’t think it’s anything special. I’d much rather that I hadn’t experienced what I’ve had to and didn’t give a flying fuck about anybody but myself like much of society these days ,

I’ve never told anybody that I’ve been called one apart from DH.

Very few are and those who feel they need to explain or justify usually aren't.

@Apiddleawiddle you’re not getting it. Most people can spot someone with anxiety, OCD, etc. However most people also have the decency not to start telling people what mental health issue you think they have. You’re not a therapist, you’re not trained in dealing with this.
Stop doing it.

[quote CPL593H]**@Apiddleawiddle* Serious polite question. If you find it all so difficult, why ahhhh I have my ways of getting people to open up to me of their own accord* ? Perhaps they would rather you didn't.[/quote]
Lol, my ways aren't intrusive as far as I'm aware. They used to be, but not now. I'm just very friendly with people, I show I care even if they are a stranger. I show sympathy and empathy and relate to people and people open up on their own. I don't do it to be intrusive, it's just how I make friends, by being kind, showing I care. Some people think I'm fucking weird 😂 I have been a watcher of people my whole life, not understanding human nature, feeling like an alien my whole life and causing serious mental health issues for me in life. My own family hated me asking why all the time as that's meant to be a phase in childhood. It lasted till in my 30s with me 😄 Now, thanks to the help of a therapist, I see more clearly and don't need to ask the questions, I just need to watch and listen and be kind to people. If people tell me things, I will give them something in return to help them feel at ease and it ends up a game of tennis with experiences and before you know it you have a whole life story lol.

I can spot a cunt a mile off. Doesn’t make me special.