There are no such things as Empaths

[Seafog]

Ffs.
Empathy ....some of us have more empathy than others, but it doesn't make you a fucking empath!
If you have sympathy for people, would you go around saying you are a sympath?

Just say , "I have so much empathy" or "I am really sensitive to people's emotional state."

Making up a word to try and make yourself sound more special makes me think you're attention seeking twat.

AIBU?

[quote Allmadeoflego]@Apiddleawiddle you’re not getting it. Most people can spot someone with anxiety, OCD, etc. However most people also have the decency not to start telling people what mental health issue you think they have. You’re not a therapist, you’re not trained in dealing with this.
Stop doing it.[/quote]
You would be surprised what someone with almost 30 years of experience in mental health is able to do. I don't diagnose anything. I relate to people, having been there myself, having felt what they did, done the things they did, said what they did. Big difference.

I don't call myself one. I don't consider myself one. Some people referred to me as one.

Am I a dick or not?

Why would you want someone's life story, when you are unable to put it in its rightful place, which is outside your own emotional response?
If you feel others' trauma, why would you court it?

@Allmadeoflego

*People tell me to walk away all the time but I can't. This is why I became introverted to stop me from not being able to walk away because it does become consuming what other people feel. And yes, my experience with trauma definitely helps with spotting mental health issues and helps explain to others why they behave in certain manners. For me the not being able to walk away is maybe down to because I know exactly how it feels to be walked away from. So if anything that would tell me there is a deeper level of empathy through experience than the person who can walk away feels.*

I’m going to try and go east here as you’ve said you’re not NT. however, this all plainly shows how unattuned you are. People are literally you to stop. Armchair dioagnosing people with mental health issues and explaining how they feel isn’t generally a welcome thing either.

People probably tolerate it, as you’re probably a nice person. But honestly - knock it off.

Oh I'm attuned. I'm not on a forum for the popularity contest though. Here to answer the questions. I'm not diagnosing anything. I say I can spot these issues in people. Doesn't mean I go up to someone and say, BTW, you have ptsd, or you are bi polar. Far from it.

@RamblingOldWoman

I’m an Empath. I have been told so by two different therapists whom I was seeing while I was trying to process my very dysfunctional, abusive childhood and some very traumatic incidents as an adult. I’d never heard of one before.

I didn’t believe it at first but then it started to make sense. It’s not only being able to put myself in someone else’s shoes and feel it too. I have a 99,9% correct ‘cunt radar’ and I can feel the warmth off good hearted people without even saying a word to them. I can generally also sense when something is going on for people too, even without seeing them for a while and have a very good gut instinct.

I see it as a heightened awareness from my traumatic experiences. I don’t think it’s anything special. I’d much rather that I hadn’t experienced what I’ve had to and didn’t give a flying fuck about anybody but myself like much of society these days ,

I’ve never told anybody that I’ve been called one apart from DH.

A professional told you this? What do you mean by ‘therapist?’ Presumably not a paid and educated mental health worker.

As for ‘feeling warmth’ from good people and sensing ‘cunts’ that can be explained easily. You meet someone, think ‘what a cunt’ and treat them coolly. They then dislike you. Or, you meet someone and think ‘what a beautiful wonderful person’ and treat them really nicely. They then respond nicely and you build a good relationship.

As for crying at Pride of Britain - what do you think the rest of us are sat watching stony faced? It’s one step away from the bbc dancing into your home and wafting an onion under your eyes.

You should have been in our house when 'Lassie' was on!!

It's funny. I see 'empaths' on here describe themselves, and I can relate to most of it.

I'm still not an empath, because it's just a term stolen from star trek by people that want to make themselves out to be different to most - it's used in two ways. One is so they can make themselves out to be something special. The other is to be able to tell people just how hard it is to be like them.

Someone that thinks they are more creative than others or more musical or stronger or wiser and feels the need to keep telling themselves or others that, are twats. (the people that genuinely are these things have no need to keep telling themselves or others that this makes them different). Imo the same goes for people that decide they are an empath.

I would love for an 'empath' to tell me why it's not the same.

So what I've learnt from this thread:
--there are well-adjusted people who feel empathy, read rooms and do normal human behaviour
--there are people with trauma who need help processing their emotions so they can deal with interactions without getting overwhelmed
--there are narcissist woo woo obsessives with below average levels of empathy who genuinely believe they have more emotional capacity than others, and don't notice that others think they are a twat

@RobertSmithsLipstick

Why would you want someone's life story, when you are unable to put it in its rightful place, which is outside your own emotional response? If you feel others' trauma, why would you court it?

Because for some people it's an (unhealthy) coping mechanism for their own trauma and issues. But that doesn't sound as good plus the whole acceptance thing.

I had a bit of a google and found an article stating there is 7 types of empath.
It had a quiz to find out which one you are.

@RobertSmithsLipstick it's not unhealthy at all and it's infact opening up and relating to others in similar situations to me in life that has helped me on the path to recovery, my trauma therapist has seen firsthand how much it has changed me just to be more comfortable in my own experiences and how helping others helps me too and has encouraged it. So you can call it what you want, but to me your view shows ignorance to the suffering among trauma victims and the importance of not being alone in their experiences and reaching out to others with similar experiences. There is a reason group therapy is used with some trauma victims. Sadly I can't participate in them as I find it difficult being in a room with too many people aswell as there being males in the groups available here but find more one to one better for me.

Yea, I'm totally ignorant.
That's why I belong to a bereaved parents group.
Because I have no idea about trauma.

@RobertSmithsLipstick

Yea, I'm totally ignorant. That's why I belong to a bereaved parents group. Because I have no idea about trauma.

So you DO understand the need to relate and talk to others and share experiences and that it is a healthy way to help process the trauma. The hypocrisy is fascinating when comparing to your previous comment claiming its unhealthy. Your original comment still remains ignorant wether you experience trauma or not. Not everyone processes trauma the same and we all have different coping mechanisms and sharing experiences with other trauma sufferers is generally not considered an unhealthy coping mechanism.

[quote Apiddleawiddle]@RobertSmithsLipstick it's not unhealthy at all and it's infact opening up and relating to others in similar situations to me in life that has helped me on the path to recovery, my trauma therapist has seen firsthand how much it has changed me just to be more comfortable in my own experiences and how helping others helps me too and has encouraged it. So you can call it what you want, but to me your view shows ignorance to the suffering among trauma victims and the importance of not being alone in their experiences and reaching out to others with similar experiences. There is a reason group therapy is used with some trauma victims. Sadly I can't participate in them as I find it difficult being in a room with too many people aswell as there being males in the groups available here but find more one to one better for me.[/quote]
I think those group sessions (at least in my experience) are normally guided by a counsellor rather than an empath who thinks she can sense how other people are feeling.

Do you know even counsellors and psychiatrists would never say ‘you feel x.’ They will ask ‘how did you feel about that/what did you think?’ They won’t presume they know how you felt.

@RobertSmithsLipstick

Yea, I'm totally ignorant. That's why I belong to a bereaved parents group. Because I have no idea about trauma.

Also I am very sorry for your loss in life. I hope being part of the group helps you in some way so you don't feel so alone in your suffering xx

There is such a thing as hyper-empathy. Hyper-empathic people are so in tune with others' emotions that it can affect their own emotions excessively. So hearing of someone else's negative emotions might cause them real emotional pain and tears even when it wouldn't usually have the same effect on someone with typical levels of empathy.

However it's important to note that there are two types of empathy. There's the empathy you feel within yourself for others. And there's affective empathy, which is how to behave to others in response to it, e.g giving someone a hug or knowing the right words to say to them.

Hyper-empathic people may or may not also have high levels of affective empathy. Indeed, many autistic people are hyper-empathic but struggle with affective empathy which causes the misconception that autistic people are uncaring. They may feel great pain at another person's sadness, but they don't know how to express their empathy.

Some people who describe themselves as "empaths" may be genuinely hyper-empathic or hyper-sensitive. And others are just people who like to think of themselves as really nice people.

@Apiddleawiddle I called it an unhealthy coping mechanism not Lipstick. And I stand by it.

Thank you.

Jesus and there is the complete display of a lack of empathy. @RobertSmithsLipstick am so sorry for your loss

Yes I didn't say it was unhealthy.
I questioned how it works for people who are hyper sensitive to others' suffering.
And got called ignorant and told that I don't understand trauma for my trouble!
By an empath!

@Kanaloa I do ask things like that. I actually use most things that I am told myself in therapy including how the brain works with trauma. I don't go in saying 'oh I know what's wrong with you, you must feel like x when you happens just like me'. I will say things like, I can relate to this particular experience with this experience and it caused me to feel this, is that perhaps what happens with you or do you respond differently, when relating to someone with personal experiences.

Thank you.
I do appreciate it.
It's a difficult time of year.

@RobertSmithsLipstick I'm so sorry for your loss

[quote ldontWanna]**@Apiddleawiddle* I called it an unhealthy coping mechanism not Lipstick*. And I stand by it.[/quote]
Ah, dammit, sorry @RobertSmithsLipstick. I have not read that one properly. I deeply apologise.

Thats ok.

It is what it is, sadly.