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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really disappointed with this present

366 replies

ToMeetOrNotToMeet · 18/12/2021 14:47

I might sound like an ungrateful twat...

The gift is from my boyfriend (on/off - "on a break" at the moment, but he wants to get back together... and I wish we could as well... which is why I'm upset about this. We're just not the same.

We're at his mother's to celebrate my and her birthday. She puts on a big show, champagne, cake etc. There are six of us. We do gifts at the end. We're in a rented holiday cottage.
We swapped gifts. All very nice: ornaments, plants, choccies, jewelry, wine...

Then boyfriend pulls out a bag of apples and another bag of tomatoes and a piece of bamboo. He tells us to close our eyes and imagine being somewhere where these things are grown and being in a hotel and looking out of the window and it's raining.

Then there are three wrapped boxes. One for me. One for his mother. One for my daughter (aged 4) or his brother (aged 30). He still hasn't clarified. He says it doesn't matter who opens what, but if we get the wrong box, we won't like it.

It's three external hard drives.

We don't know whose is whose. We have no way of checking here.

He collects DVDs and Bluerays. He's obviously put a load of films on these hard drives.

I've told him in the past that I don't care about DVDs (his entire house is full of them - I mean so FULL that I can't visit. Hoarder full.). I have about 30 minutes a night to watch TV and I'm happy with Prime and Netflix).

So now, I've got to go home with a hard drive full of films that might be for his mother. She'll go home with one that could be meant for me or my kid.

I know he's probably spent time doing it (a lot of time) but I've already told him many many times that I have enough with what I have. I'm just not interested in all these fucking films.

And what the fuck are the fruit and vegetables all about?

Everything always has to be weird and cryptic and about him. If he'd asked me I'd have liked an Etsy voucher or a sodding candle.

Now he's really upset that nobody cares about his hard drives. But he hasn't even said what's on any of them.

It's mad. He's not talking to me for being so ungrateful and I just feel upset that he's given me something so weird.

AIBU?

OP posts:
HippoRaine · 18/12/2021 15:28

This is all so weird, I would love a cat and a melon though

Greatdomestic · 18/12/2021 15:29

Sorry about the typos

Moltenpink · 18/12/2021 15:30

@ToMeetOrNotToMeet

He won't be taking us anywhere. He's too tight. There's just no way it's that. I've had three glasses of wine, so I can't drive home. Plus it's miles away. We're staying over. I don't want to upset his mum or my DD. She's excited to be here. He's not a bad person, but he needn't bother getting in a mood because he's chosen to spend the last six months pissing about with DVDs. He's off sick from work, so that's all he does. He's always copying DVDs. We'll, I just don't give a shit. I rescue cats. I run a cat sanctuary. Should I give everyone a cat for their birthday... with a bag of rocket and a fucking melon and then go in a strop when they don't look happy about it?
Actually laughed out loud at this, sorry Grin
Mydogisagentleman · 18/12/2021 15:30

Can I swerve the cats and rocket, but I’m happy to have a melon and a couple of puppies pleaseandthankyou

Dishwashersaurous · 18/12/2021 15:30

Why are you on holiday with the parents of someone you are not in relationship with?

Bagamoyo1 · 18/12/2021 15:31

That’s crap OP.
But at least you’ve got his Christmas present sorted - tomatoes, apples, bamboo and a hard drive!

MonkeyPuddle · 18/12/2021 15:31

Whaaaaaaat??!!

Justheretoaskaquestion91 · 18/12/2021 15:31

I have to say I sort of like this. It’s mental but at least he’s gone to some effort, albeit his own idea of what effort people want.

Tbh we just really need to know what’s on the hard drives…

Lsquiggles · 18/12/2021 15:32

He clearly isn't the one for you (understandably), no idea why you'd want to officially get back with him when you have so much bad to say about him (again understandably). I say, suck it up for today, enjoy yourself however you can to get through the day, then make a decision to end this on/off relationship for good and start the new year on a high without this weirdo Confused

HazelBite · 18/12/2021 15:34

You don't suppose on the hard drive there is an invitation to a wedding and its his wierd way of proposing and letting the family know as well and the venue of the wedding is hinted at by the fruit etc??????

Original poster
ToMeetOrNotToMeet · 18/12/2021 15:34

He's not taking me to India. I know that much. I had to pay for him at the Indian restaurant on my own birthday.

It'll be full of films. Films I won't ever have time to watch.

How hard is it to get me a silver bangle or something?

I think the veg thing is because he wanted us to close our eyes and imagine we were on holiday and it was raining... so we had to stay in... and watch films. He said that one hard drive would be the other person's nightmare.

No, it still makes no sense.

Jesus. I feel sorry for him. That's my problem. He always tries... but it's just too weird.

I once had tickets to a gig for me and my sister (he knew this) and for my birthday he bought me two tickets to the same gig.

The last present I got was a necklace with my zodiac sign. He's into astrology. He knows I hate it. HATE hate it.

OP posts:
Saucery · 18/12/2021 15:35

He sounds immensely hard work.

SimonedeBeauvoirscat · 18/12/2021 15:40

I’m counting the number of reasons why you should dump him and I think I’m into double figures now.

LividLaVidaLoca · 18/12/2021 15:41

Why are you with him? He’s bonkers.

QuinceTamarillo · 18/12/2021 15:41

Confusing. If it's a joint birthday party for you and his mother, why also have a gift for his brother and your daughter (and why leave out the sixth person)? And how could it not matter who opens which gift if it's possible to get the wrong one and not like it? Why risk giving a gift you know someone won't like - unless it's some weird game of figuring out which drive is for which person and swapping?

I'd assume that the tomatos and stuff are supposed to set the scene for watching what's on the drives more of an "experience" than a material gift but that only makes sense if you were able to hook them up to a device and view the contents together. Have you been able to look at what's on yours - not, obviously, to watch the whole thing but the filenames might give you a clue? There could be some kind of introduction or index or "watch me first" that explains the "mystery"?

I't's kind of an annoying delivery, unless the giver was prepared to load up the DVDs then and there and let you see what the big deal was. Why didn't he do that, instead of huffing that people weren't excited about some mystery pieces of plastic?

The unicorn clock thing would put me right off. Your family and girlfriend (and her small child!) aren't subjects for some kind of weird psychological experiment. It sounds manipulative and mean-spirited.

StrapOnSallyChasedMeDownTheAli · 18/12/2021 15:41

Yeah, my gast would have been flabbered too. I mean, I can't even begin to figure out the connection between apples, tomatoes, bamboo and a hard drive. But, I'm intrigued to find out. I do hope it's something totally amazing and he can pull it off...

Ellmau · 18/12/2021 15:42

Surely this is a massive breach of copyright?

Budapestdreams · 18/12/2021 15:43

He doesn't know you or he doesn't care (or both).

He only thinks about himself.

It's your choice but I wouldn't be getting back together with him.

MamanSparkles · 18/12/2021 15:50

A place where tomatoes, bamboo and apples grow?
So that would be... Kent?

Jconnais1chansonquivavsenerver · 18/12/2021 15:51

Why would you want to get back with him? Break this relationship permanently off, for your own sake.

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 18/12/2021 15:52

There are quite a a few episodes of 3-2-1, the 80s quiz show where they had the baffling rhyming clues for contestants to guess what the prizes were, on YouTube. Watch some and copy out one the 'clues' then tell him that's his present and he has to guess what it is to receive it.

Eventually you tell him the present is, of course, a cat. And then that you're breaking up with him for good. That's the real present (to you, of course)

All of this makes as much sense as anything he's done.

Dotell · 18/12/2021 15:54

It's not him that's trying, he does not give a fuck, its you. You know it bullshit, let go.

CouldIhaveaword · 18/12/2021 15:56

Give him a brick for christmas and tell him to close his eyes and imagine the house he's going to be living in...alone...for the rest of his life.

Luredbyapomegranate · 18/12/2021 15:58

@UserBot314

Yes that's weird. He knnows who HE is, but does he know who you are?

Is he so busy being himself in quite an intense way that the other people around him are all interchangeable, literally, to the point where he colludes in them possibly taking home a present that was for somebody else?

First poster nails it!

Drop him.

ArblemarzipanTFruitcake · 18/12/2021 16:01

Should I give everyone a cat for their birthday.

Sounds like my ideal present Grin

My existing pair wouldn't agree though.