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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really disappointed with this present

366 replies

ToMeetOrNotToMeet · 18/12/2021 14:47

I might sound like an ungrateful twat...

The gift is from my boyfriend (on/off - "on a break" at the moment, but he wants to get back together... and I wish we could as well... which is why I'm upset about this. We're just not the same.

We're at his mother's to celebrate my and her birthday. She puts on a big show, champagne, cake etc. There are six of us. We do gifts at the end. We're in a rented holiday cottage.
We swapped gifts. All very nice: ornaments, plants, choccies, jewelry, wine...

Then boyfriend pulls out a bag of apples and another bag of tomatoes and a piece of bamboo. He tells us to close our eyes and imagine being somewhere where these things are grown and being in a hotel and looking out of the window and it's raining.

Then there are three wrapped boxes. One for me. One for his mother. One for my daughter (aged 4) or his brother (aged 30). He still hasn't clarified. He says it doesn't matter who opens what, but if we get the wrong box, we won't like it.

It's three external hard drives.

We don't know whose is whose. We have no way of checking here.

He collects DVDs and Bluerays. He's obviously put a load of films on these hard drives.

I've told him in the past that I don't care about DVDs (his entire house is full of them - I mean so FULL that I can't visit. Hoarder full.). I have about 30 minutes a night to watch TV and I'm happy with Prime and Netflix).

So now, I've got to go home with a hard drive full of films that might be for his mother. She'll go home with one that could be meant for me or my kid.

I know he's probably spent time doing it (a lot of time) but I've already told him many many times that I have enough with what I have. I'm just not interested in all these fucking films.

And what the fuck are the fruit and vegetables all about?

Everything always has to be weird and cryptic and about him. If he'd asked me I'd have liked an Etsy voucher or a sodding candle.

Now he's really upset that nobody cares about his hard drives. But he hasn't even said what's on any of them.

It's mad. He's not talking to me for being so ungrateful and I just feel upset that he's given me something so weird.

AIBU?

OP posts:
OneFootintheRave · 18/12/2021 16:04

@CouldIhaveaword

Give him a brick for christmas and tell him to close his eyes and imagine the house he's going to be living in...alone...for the rest of his life.
Ha ha. This! But honestly OP, you broke up before for a reason, he does this weird stuff and above all, he's tight with money. End it once and for all.
user36738281 · 18/12/2021 16:06

Sorry I find this incredibly odd and creepy, is he alright?

It’s giving me a silence of the lambs vibe

jassixa · 18/12/2021 16:06
Shock

I thought it was going to be holiday tickets.

DontBlameMe79 · 18/12/2021 16:06

He may be a bit weird but to be honest you sound a bit grasping and ungrateful regarding presents. Would you rather have something that he had thought about and put effort into, even if a total miss, or something he just spent money on? Sounds like the latter…so I’m in the YABU camp

hotmeatymilk · 18/12/2021 16:08

I’m absolutely desperate to know what’s on the hard drives, whose is whose, whether they’re tomato- and apple-themed, if he’s going to come back from the walk with more clues. Please marry him and periodically start enraged threads about his behaviour.

Corbally · 18/12/2021 16:08

@BronwenFrideswide

Then boyfriend pulls out a bag of apples and another bag of tomatoes and a piece of bamboo. He tells us to close our eyes and imagine being somewhere where these things are grown and being in a hotel and looking out of the window and it's raining.

I thought this was going to lead to a surprise holiday in said place not a hard drive of films. Are the films all related to this?

It's just all too weird performance art attention seeking.

Bin him and the hard drive, life's too short for this kind of crap.

I thought that too! Then I started to try to think of where was known for its tomatoes, apples, bamboo and rain…? But maybe these are separate clues for the three different hard drives?
Coffeeneedednow · 18/12/2021 16:13

OP Grin at the cat, bag of rocket and melon comment!

I really thought the hard drive would be a film for a destination or announcement or photos of a hotel. Tenuous link to the bamboo and tomatoes maybe...Confused

Chikapu · 18/12/2021 16:13

Why do you want to get back together with him? You don't like him in the slightest so throw away the whole man, the hard drive and the bamfuckingboo. Life is too short for this kind of crap.

Mummyoflittledragon · 18/12/2021 16:16

@CouldIhaveaword

Give him a brick for christmas and tell him to close his eyes and imagine the house he's going to be living in...alone...for the rest of his life.
😂😂😂

But in seriousness, please, take a few minutes to watch the hard drive and tell us what is on there.

CovidPassQuestion · 18/12/2021 16:16

Just joining the queue for my cat and melon...

Cocomarine · 18/12/2021 16:17

This total loser doesn’t give a shit about your feelings and likes to headfuck people for fun.

Yeah, I’d have brought my 4yo into that.

FFS be a better parent.

friendlycat · 18/12/2021 16:18

@CovidPassQuestion

Just joining the queue for my cat and melon...
Me too. I love both and rocket.

Sorry but this is funny.

But he sounds plain weird.

Holothane · 18/12/2021 16:18

Get rid and stay rid, I love blu rays but there hidden away in cases so not taking over the house I’ll be clearing a lot out soon anyway my Dr who stuff I’ll stream and keep on a bigger iPad later in the the future.

Hankunamatata · 18/12/2021 16:19

My cousin is autistic. He sounds exactly like him. Spends hours with DVDs

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 18/12/2021 16:20

What I would be doing is dumping him tbh. It doesn't sound as if you are at all compatible and you do know all this nonsense will get worse not better over the years.
Men who behave weirdly like this just get more weird not better, I can tell you from experience.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 18/12/2021 16:21

However....all of us on mumsnet now need to know what is on the hardrive.

Summerfun54321 · 18/12/2021 16:21

You’ll ruin each other’s self esteem if you stay together. He won’t feel understood and you won’t feel appreciated.

DontBlameMe79 · 18/12/2021 16:22

Does the tone of the responses on this thread make anyone other than me uncomfortable? Implication of Autistic = Weird loser being the most recent.

DukkaTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly · 18/12/2021 16:23

How long have you been trying to make this work for? Isn’t it time to call it a day and move on?

lizkt · 18/12/2021 16:26

Sorry, I find this thread funny. It's like one of those tales you'll look back on and regale people with.

But fair enough, it's probably not very funny to you right now and you don't sound remotely compatible. He does sound a bit odd.

TempName01 · 18/12/2021 16:26

After you get home say ‘thanks for the blank hard drive, it is perfect for backing up my photos!’

PeonyRose80 · 18/12/2021 16:28

ooooo me me me, love a cat and love rocket- my daughter would very much love a cat like all her christmases had come at once!!!!!!

Guess tomatoes might be useful ish? 😂

He does sound quite strange… could be all the movies are holiday themed???

5128gap · 18/12/2021 16:28

This is either pretentious, frustrating, attention seeking BS, or sweet, funny, eccentric and unique. Depending entirely on how into him you are.

HermioneWeasley · 18/12/2021 16:28

Why would you even consider getting back together with this guy? He sounds like a complete weirdo loser

Wafflehouse · 18/12/2021 16:30

He sounds like my BIL, pretentious and exhausting.

Stropping because he didn’t get the reaction he wanted for what is basically a shit present? And then the gig tickets and zodiac stuff when it’s something you don’t just dislike but actually hate?

You’re not the person he wants you to be, that’s neither your fault, nor your problem, dump him and if you want a partner find someone who puts more thought into you and who you are than the reaction he might get for what he wants for you.