... to not want non-family to give my kid presents?

[MamaKatja]

A bit of a reality check, please.

We are trying not to spoil our 4yo DD (ahem, at least not too much), including at Christmas. I just don't like kids on a ripping-open-presents frenzy, without really being able to enjoy even one because of the sheer abundance. Our DD has also become increasingly picky, throwing little surprises from her advent calendar (lovingly, or so I thought, compiled by me) at me whenever she didn't like them.

Now, we have a rule that family are allowed to give her one Christmas present each, as are my DH and I together. Plus one from Santa, and that's supposed to be it. I negotiated a truce with her godfather, but now non-family members are piling in, including the neighbours, our nanny, a new schoolfriend's mum, and others. The result? Nine presents already!

AIBU to think that non-family should butt out?

My kid gets fuck all because all my family is either dead or doesn't speak to us.

Get a grip.

My two do get spoilt but they are super grateful for the tiniest things! I am always so proud of how gracious both are!

We always encourage them to thankful, if ever they were so rude to throw a gift they've received they would have all other gifts removed and a talking to!

They are 3 and 5 (almost 4 and 6).

Suggest a price limit and or gift ideas (too late for this year).

YaBU. People like to give gifts. Rather than tell people they shouldn’t buy presents. May be you should turn it into a positive learning experience for your DD. You could show her she needs to be grateful and explain to her how lucky she has received so many presents as others may not be as fortunate

I bet you are DYING to tell her Santa isn't real too?

@00100001

Unless it encroached on their Christmas Eve box or whatever?

Similar to the OP. They said that they didn't want their 3 year old to think that Christmas was about 'things'. Apparently they had even asked family not to send anything. We didn't know this, and just thought given COVID Christmas and none of us being able to be with our families, we would spread a little Christmas cheer and leave a surprise.

If I am honest, their reaction did upset me. We choose the gifts carefully to make sure it wasn't plastic tat. I wouldn't have minded if they rehomed or regifted as the pleasure for us as a family was in the preparation and the giving. (They probably have).

But their reaction did hurt. And so... we learnt a lesson. We don't do any surprises.

I think this is utterly weird, controlling and puritanical tbh.

As others have said, you have no right to impose that kind of thing on others. Generosity and affection should be freely given and your child's behavioural issues are no reason to restrict other people's right to give them presents.

[quote MarieChristmas]@00100001 sorry, not clear. We did a surprise for the family, packaged in a stocking and left it by their front door. It contained a board game, a book for the child, a couple of camping bits and some sweets. We thought it was a fun thing to do from our family to theirs (our kids were also involved) but it was not appreciated.

Lesson learnt. [/quote]
This seems such a thoughtful and kind gesture and I'm struggling to imagine being anything other than touched and grateful. I'm sorry it was thrown back in your face like that.

It's so much more important to teach her to receive gifts graciously rather than control the gifts she is given. My daughter was once given a present that was meant for the rabbit, it was a banana and she said thank you very much and acted really pleased until we realised what had happened (yes it's weird to wrap the rabbits presents I know)

YABU.

You can't spoil a child in one day. Let the people who love your DD buy her a present and teach your DD how to be grateful.

@stupiduser that's lovely!

Buy her a boring chocolate advent calendar next year.

What an absolute fun sponge and lousy attitude.

" butt out" ?? Are you for real or just wanted a goady thread.

The look of joy and wonder on my kids faces waking up to a huge pile of presents once a year is a memory I always treasure.

Why blame the gift givers for your DD tantrums about the advent? That's your parenting to blame, not their generosity.

Oh FFS. Let her enjoy her gifts!