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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Rude school Dad. AIBU to say something?

600 replies

NadjaofAntipaxos · 15/12/2021 17:52

When I'm picking DS up from reception, parents queue up down a narrow space between the school building and a fence and the teacher stands in the doorway calling each child out in order of parents in the queue. It's a long queue, 30 kids to be collected. You have to wait a while if you're at the back. I'm usually one of the last in the queue as I collect older DD first from another playground, so I've never noticed this before but today she had a playdate so I was maybe number six in the queue waiting before the classroom door opened.

Shortly before the door opened, one Dad just strolled past everyone and stood at the front of the queue. Right past about 20 other people and collected his kid third or fourth. Proceeded to also have lengthy "bants" with the teacher, delaying everyone else's child getting called and signalling he is in no hurry.

I was quite astonished and said to the mum behind me "I'm assuming he has a good reason for pushing past everyone else who's waiting". She just rolled her eyes and shook her head and said "every night".

Now I have encountered this man before on a couple of occasions and I took against him then. Spidey senses signalled the twat-horn. When a few parents took our children to the park across from school and I was part of a group standing chatting which included his wife who seems lovely, he barged in and took over the conversation. I learned they have older kids, so it's not like he has to dash off and collect other kids. He announced he is now retired (would guess he is late 40s early 50s) and his wife works part time and apparently he's a self-made business man who likes to boast about his money . So not rushing back after school to start work again (like me and lots of other parents). There was also a streak of sexism too, man barges into group of women and takes over.

So clearly I am being petty to let this piss me off enough to write a Mumsnet thread about it. But what would you do? I should just get over it I know. But ... So. Annoying. (His self proclaimed cheeky chappy persona gives me rage.) And our kids are likely to have another 14 years of school together.

Or shall I make sure I start getting to school early so I can address it with him if he does his entitled push-in job again? What do I say? He is an arrogant fucker clearly so would need to be well considered. Hence asking you wise people.
Do I even email school in a PA fashion to ask that they send out an email to all re queueing etiquette? I feel lovely teachers have enough to deal with, especially as I noticed CF dad being told by teacher at parents evening he was "cheeky". Didn't hear the comment he made but know the teacher and her tone suggested "back the fuck off".
Yes yabu - move on, get a life
No yanbu - take him down, or try to and get egg on face

OP posts:
snowmansballs33 · 15/12/2021 17:54

He sounds like a twat but the world is full of them. I wouldn't let it wind you up but I would maybe say something like 'oi you get to the back' in a half jokey half serious tone.

LittleMG · 15/12/2021 17:55

Take. Him. Down.

GrazingSheep · 15/12/2021 17:56

Does nobody point out the queue to him?

NadjaofAntipaxos · 15/12/2021 17:59

@GrazingSheep

Does nobody point out the queue to him?
Seeming not. Lots of lovely younger mum's with toddlers and the occasional grandparent. Hardly any dad's funnily enough.
OP posts:
Joolsin · 15/12/2021 17:59

I would have to make a special pet project of this, OP. Can't understand why anyone hasn't pulled him up on it before now. He's banking on this continuing, the chancer. Go for it, and update frequently!!!

Purplependant222 · 15/12/2021 17:59

Point out the queue as very matter of fact to him.

Chocolatewheatos · 15/12/2021 18:00

I'd get there early and maybe test the waters with the other parents see if anyone else is willing to stand up to him. Then I'd just stand in the way so he can't get past. If he asks you to get past just say "oh no we're actually all queuing for the kids" and just smile and turn around. What he gonna say "yeah but I'm more important and need to push in front"?

Seeingadistance · 15/12/2021 18:00

Get organised.

You all need to come forward, one by one, and stand in front of him till he’s at the back.

You may have to form a human pyramid at the front.

PuntasticUsername · 15/12/2021 18:00

Fuck the cunt up. Stale lemon drizzle cake to the back of the head should do it.

NadjaofAntipaxos · 15/12/2021 18:00

As in I can't see him pushing past a load of men somehow, but women with buggies should just concede he deserves to be first and special.

OP posts:
FOJN · 15/12/2021 18:01

He pushes to the front of the queue everyday and the other parents say nothing? He is a dick but he's been getting away with it so why would he change. I'm pretty amazed that no one has said anything, he wouldn't try it twice if I was in that queue.

Smile very nicely (the kind that says don't argue) and tell him where the back of the queue is next time.

rwalker · 15/12/2021 18:01

There always one at ever school

NadjaofAntipaxos · 15/12/2021 18:03

It's kind of a dead end, so everyone waits on one side and then walks past the whole queue once they've collected their kid. It's so rude!

OP posts:
tootiredtobother · 15/12/2021 18:03

so he jumped the queue, what did the person he stood in front of say ??
next time shout as he goes past he wont know who shouted at him

onemouseplace · 15/12/2021 18:04

Sounds like a twat. I have massively taken against one particular similarly entitled parent in our year who would always turn up at the last moment for pick up when we were doing the socially distanced shuffling in a long line thing, spot a 'friend' near the front and join them, thus completely jumping the massive queue.

BlackAndPinkNose · 15/12/2021 18:06

OMG please call him out on it and report back

ineedsun · 15/12/2021 18:06

Surely you just deal with it if it happens again don’t you?
If he pushes in front of you, you say ‘excuse me, there’s a queue here’

RosiePosieDozy · 15/12/2021 18:07

Don't let him get away with it. Selfish behaviour. No doubt raising a selfish child.

Tell him there is a queue.

I am surprised that no one, including the teacher, hasn't said anything to him. The teacher must see him do this every day? Tell him there is a queue. If he still behaves like this, raise it with the teacher. It's unacceptable.

NadjaofAntipaxos · 15/12/2021 18:07

I've always hated the kind of gossip where you talk about other parents (whole other thread for mum's in older DD class). So I don't want to kind of grumble under my breath to people around me. I've got to be the one who steps in. I imagine him to be the sort to try and joke his way out if it or ignore me.

But sometimes you just have to take a stand man.

OP posts:
adoreyou · 15/12/2021 18:08

We had pushing in from some parents at our school.
Just send an email to the office.
The parents at ours were spoken to and no longer do it.

KnickerlessNicholby · 15/12/2021 18:08

Seems to me like you're massively overcomplicating this with irrelevant detail! Queue-jumper: tell them politely there's a queue, wait your turn please.

Steelesauce · 15/12/2021 18:09

Just say something next time it happens. 'There's a queue ya know?'. Whats the worst that could happen?

SlipperySlope99 · 15/12/2021 18:09

Agree- take him down and take him down hard!!!!!! And let us know what happens, rubs thighs waiting for the bollocking he’s about to get

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 15/12/2021 18:10

I probably wouldn't have said anything when I was a younger mum but I'm more pissed off at the world these days and would 100% tell him to get to the back of the queue and wait like everyone else. Absolute bellend

FrankGrillosWrist · 15/12/2021 18:11

Block him so he can’t get past, if he attempts it kick his legs from under him.

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