Rude school Dad. AIBU to say something?

[NadjaofAntipaxos]

When I'm picking DS up from reception, parents queue up down a narrow space between the school building and a fence and the teacher stands in the doorway calling each child out in order of parents in the queue. It's a long queue, 30 kids to be collected. You have to wait a while if you're at the back. I'm usually one of the last in the queue as I collect older DD first from another playground, so I've never noticed this before but today she had a playdate so I was maybe number six in the queue waiting before the classroom door opened.

Shortly before the door opened, one Dad just strolled past everyone and stood at the front of the queue. Right past about 20 other people and collected his kid third or fourth. Proceeded to also have lengthy "bants" with the teacher, delaying everyone else's child getting called and signalling he is in no hurry.

I was quite astonished and said to the mum behind me "I'm assuming he has a good reason for pushing past everyone else who's waiting". She just rolled her eyes and shook her head and said "every night".

Now I have encountered this man before on a couple of occasions and I took against him then. Spidey senses signalled the twat-horn. When a few parents took our children to the park across from school and I was part of a group standing chatting which included his wife who seems lovely, he barged in and took over the conversation. I learned they have older kids, so it's not like he has to dash off and collect other kids. He announced he is now retired (would guess he is late 40s early 50s) and his wife works part time and apparently he's a self-made business man who likes to boast about his money . So not rushing back after school to start work again (like me and lots of other parents). There was also a streak of sexism too, man barges into group of women and takes over.

So clearly I am being petty to let this piss me off enough to write a Mumsnet thread about it. But what would you do? I should just get over it I know. But ... So. Annoying. (His self proclaimed cheeky chappy persona gives me rage.) And our kids are likely to have another 14 years of school together.

Or shall I make sure I start getting to school early so I can address it with him if he does his entitled push-in job again? What do I say? He is an arrogant fucker clearly so would need to be well considered. Hence asking you wise people.
Do I even email school in a PA fashion to ask that they send out an email to all re queueing etiquette? I feel lovely teachers have enough to deal with, especially as I noticed CF dad being told by teacher at parents evening he was "cheeky". Didn't hear the comment he made but know the teacher and her tone suggested "back the fuck off".
Yes yabu - move on, get a life
No yanbu - take him down, or try to and get egg on face

Karate chop him on the windpipe as he strolls past.

Or make like Offred and the handmaids and rip him apart with your bare hands?

DS has a friend who's nana lives opposite me and she takes no prisoners, serious stickler for manners, quite posh. She occasionally collects her DGS so I may enlist support there.

I will report back.

Yep. Just call him out. ... "Sorry ..... whateverhisnameis ..... did you not notice there's a queue?" (pointing to the back of it)

@FrankGrillosWrist

Block him so he can’t get past, if he attempts it kick his legs from under him.

Hell yes

I say, isn't it terribly unBritish to see a queue and not join it? Downright unpatriotic, surely?!

@LittleMG

Take. Him. Down.

Yes.

This is the kind of behaviour that would give me the full rage, if you are ballsy enough to say something (me and my social anxiety, people pleasing ways would not) then please do it

Another excellent suggestion.

Look for any mothers who are 40 and over.

By that age they are confident enough and pissed off enough to deal with this.

Set up your supporters in advance.

You should be the one to tell him to get to the back of the queue and they should back you up.

I HATE queue jumpers. It's something that burns me up inside and I'm usually pretty laid back . But I call queue jumpers out every time .
'Umm excuse me, there's a queue here !' Is my go to.

He sounds an arrogant bastard , he thinks no one will have the audacity to call him out .

@oviraptor21

Yep. Just call him out. ... "Sorry ..... whateverhisnameis ..... did you not notice there's a queue?" (pointing to the back of it)

That's way too polite. I'd go with more of a "is there a reason you don't feel the need to queue like the rest of us? I'm assuming you think your time is more important than anyone elses you twat monkey"

The teacher needs to get a backbone as well as the rest of the people in the queue and tell him that other parents are waiting ahead of him.

Eye-rolling is useless

@LittleMG

Take. Him. Down.

This.

x 1000

I think a super soaker is what you want here. Let him walk past then shout in a Clint Eastwood voice (while maintaining eye contact) "Hey mister, this here queue ain't big enough for you to cut in front!" Then squirting until he goes back to his allotted place. At least this is how I imagine queue fights taking place in England.

Well maybe .... but I'm trying to reduce the confrontational aspect! (Though agreed that karate chops, taking out his legs and ripping apart with bare hands do all seem quite appropriate

Next time he does it maybe call out to the teacher something like 'Miss X, is the queue no longer being enforced? I don't want waste my time stood at the back for no reason?'

Or something similar?

Any other situation I take no prisoners. I have a job which needs me to thrive on conflict . Hence this request if iabu. It's just the whole school thing, getting a bitch-rep. I don't want DS getting left out coz of my gob.

Absolutely take him down. This very post has given me the rage.

When you ask him if he has never noticed the queue before, if he says no, you could point out that a bottle of bubbly/chocs/flowers for everyone who had waited patiently while he pushed in should go some way to redeeming his rudeness.

I’m not placemarking for tomorrow night. That would be so gauche

If I was the teacher I'd ignore him and go to the parent who was at the front before he pushed in. If I was in the queue this would really piss me off entitled git who does he think he is

I really want to hear about how you take him down BUT just to double check his child doesn't have some additional needs that mean they need to leave earlier?? I can't think of a scenario where that would be true but just before you go all guns blazing

I would say something. "Oi, there's a queue!" should do it.

Seeming not. Lots of lovely younger mum's with toddlers and the occasional grandparent. Hardly any dad's funnily enough.

Shouldn't need another man to do it. I would have no hesitation, but I'm older now and don't worry too much about public confrontation.

@NadjaofAntipaxos

Any other situation I take no prisoners. I have a job which needs me to thrive on conflict . Hence this request if iabu. It's just the whole school thing, getting a bitch-rep. I don't want DS getting left out coz of my gob.

You're not going to get a bitch-rep. It's more likely they'll worship you as a god.

I’m surprised the teacher hasn’t said anything. Or not said anything but called the other pupils first.
I can’t blame him - he walks up and gets his child straight away.

The queue definitely need to say something. But I think it’s easier for the teacher to as I’d have thought he was joining someone in the front.

I’d send the email that you’ve put in your OP to remind people about the rules.

@Corbally

Karate chop him on the windpipe as he strolls past.

Or make like Offred and the handmaids and rip him apart with your bare hands?

😂😂