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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Rude school Dad. AIBU to say something?

600 replies

NadjaofAntipaxos · 15/12/2021 17:52

When I'm picking DS up from reception, parents queue up down a narrow space between the school building and a fence and the teacher stands in the doorway calling each child out in order of parents in the queue. It's a long queue, 30 kids to be collected. You have to wait a while if you're at the back. I'm usually one of the last in the queue as I collect older DD first from another playground, so I've never noticed this before but today she had a playdate so I was maybe number six in the queue waiting before the classroom door opened.

Shortly before the door opened, one Dad just strolled past everyone and stood at the front of the queue. Right past about 20 other people and collected his kid third or fourth. Proceeded to also have lengthy "bants" with the teacher, delaying everyone else's child getting called and signalling he is in no hurry.

I was quite astonished and said to the mum behind me "I'm assuming he has a good reason for pushing past everyone else who's waiting". She just rolled her eyes and shook her head and said "every night".

Now I have encountered this man before on a couple of occasions and I took against him then. Spidey senses signalled the twat-horn. When a few parents took our children to the park across from school and I was part of a group standing chatting which included his wife who seems lovely, he barged in and took over the conversation. I learned they have older kids, so it's not like he has to dash off and collect other kids. He announced he is now retired (would guess he is late 40s early 50s) and his wife works part time and apparently he's a self-made business man who likes to boast about his money . So not rushing back after school to start work again (like me and lots of other parents). There was also a streak of sexism too, man barges into group of women and takes over.

So clearly I am being petty to let this piss me off enough to write a Mumsnet thread about it. But what would you do? I should just get over it I know. But ... So. Annoying. (His self proclaimed cheeky chappy persona gives me rage.) And our kids are likely to have another 14 years of school together.

Or shall I make sure I start getting to school early so I can address it with him if he does his entitled push-in job again? What do I say? He is an arrogant fucker clearly so would need to be well considered. Hence asking you wise people.
Do I even email school in a PA fashion to ask that they send out an email to all re queueing etiquette? I feel lovely teachers have enough to deal with, especially as I noticed CF dad being told by teacher at parents evening he was "cheeky". Didn't hear the comment he made but know the teacher and her tone suggested "back the fuck off".
Yes yabu - move on, get a life
No yanbu - take him down, or try to and get egg on face

OP posts:
babymidgetgem · 10/01/2022 21:29

Has he learned how to queue yet OP?

Lennon80 · 10/01/2022 22:25

All of you should agree to block him - literally like a wall! Entitled prick!

Dindundundundeeer · 10/01/2022 22:25

Prize wanker. Glad you stood up
OP, I’d do it again and clap his appearance.

Shout whoop whoop VIP, make way, make way. Shame the cunt.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 10/01/2022 22:27

Good luck with that,

Autismandadhdproblems · 10/01/2022 22:35

I always walk to the front of the queue but my son has SEN and is usually screaming and we need to just get him out asap

Russelhobskettle · 10/01/2022 22:45

Aaargh! Op hasn't posted on this since page 17!

MadeForThis · 10/01/2022 22:47

We need to know!!!

lborgia · 10/01/2022 22:49

I hope he hasn't take @NadjaofAntipaxos hostage or taken her out with his narcissistic cunning!

I have to say, I did get a slight shiver when reading this, and agree that he may prove, um, tricky in the future.

I also had to stop drinking my coffee to read the thread so as to avoid snortage Grin

bananabuddy3 · 10/01/2022 22:55

If its a narrow path, block it next time. Position yourself and any others who have realised in a formation that stops him. Obvieously once kids come out, move accordingly.
If he tries to get past, just casually say “they aren’t out yet and this is the queue” and don’t move.

bananabuddy3 · 10/01/2022 22:59

Ha just read the thread and realised you had sorted it - well done OP! Has he learnt from this this term or does he still queue jumpA.

expat101 · 10/01/2022 23:10

I hope the others had your back and were supportive in front of him! All very well saying at the pub well done and the like, but situations like this, you need numbers.

At DD's former school, we had a similar thing but with cars. Those that got there early got the closest positions. Every day this twit would turn up at the last minute and park next to whoever was at that spot, so the passenger door of the waiting vehicle could not be opened, and the child would have to get in the car on the road side.

He would often turn up his radio too, so it was blaringly loud in the adjoining car.

In the end the principal came out and had words with him, and then everybody was banned from parking in that immediate area.

Askingforfriend · 10/01/2022 23:27

We queued for over an hour for a shuttle bus at an event one time with our kids and these two twenty somethings tried to push in near our family. Dirty looks from many people weren't doing a damn thing and they just whispered to each other and laughed.

Finally I had had enough and loudly said "who here is angry at these two pushing in when even young kids are managing to wait" which resulted in about fifty people sticking their hands up. They still stayed put so I then said "who thinks they should go to the back of the line?!" even more people stuck their hands up. They looked really uncomfortable but still didn't move. "Who has something to say to them?" at which point a number of people volunteered that they were obviously entitled and selfish and that they were going to tell event organisers and they'd get sent to the back of the line and then they'd be even further back. They slunk off.

As the line zig zagged back and forth we ended up near where they tried to push in further back. I told the people that they had tried that crap where we were and everyone told them to get to the back. They looked pissed at me and I said that if I saw it happen again I'd definitely go find staff to tell them.

So yeah, maybe I was a tad over assertive, but it is a wonder how peer pressure can sometimes work wonders. In your shoes, I would be sorely tempted to loudly ask "does it make anyone else really angry when Mr X shoves in?"

Brandnewbrighttomorrow · 10/01/2022 23:47

Just had to scroll to page 17 to find out the outcome! How is it going now OP? Hope he’s learned the error of his ways?! Well done for speaking out, hope you’ve got the school to back you up, he sounds hideous.

Ionlydomassiveones · 11/01/2022 18:10

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

SarWar85 · 13/01/2022 11:08

There is a family like this at the school my DS is at. Everyone has to park wherever they can on the nearby streets but most days I see them coming out the staff car park (neither the mum or dad work at the school). I always wonder why they’ve been given special permission to park there but they probably haven’t, and do it because they get away with it and nobody says anything! Try and get there early and hold him accountable - see what happens

Mybumlooksbig · 13/01/2022 11:30

Get your kid to ram into his ankles with their scooter.

ShinyHappyPoster · 13/01/2022 11:33

I often pull people up for queue jumping. I've never had a ticker tape parade for it or people buying me drinks in the pub. Maybe I need to ensure a bigger audience next time Grin

AintNobodyHereButUsChickens · 13/01/2022 11:39

Placemarking in hope of an update!

Ffariee · 13/01/2022 11:43

Absolute misogynistic twatty behaviour from him. If I were you, I wouldn’t initially approach him about the blatant queue jumping though, have a quiet word with the teacher and ask why they allow it. Ask if they can tell this prat to go to the back of the queue and wait for his child.
Unless the actual issue is with the child- perhaps they have additional needs and have anxiety if not picked up first? Even if this is the case, if he wants to be first in the queue, he should arrive before everyone else!
I am also a bit concerned about the way your school is releasing the children during covid times - this queue seems a bit too close for comfort

BowiesJumper · 13/01/2022 12:05

Yes also need to know if he’s behaving 😂

Change123today · 13/01/2022 12:12

Our school do it the opposite way - the kids queue and are sent to their parents - so SEN children who need to be out first are.
My daughter was more interested in chatting and taking forever to put her coat on so we always last leaving Hmm
But I do agree with confronting someone who thinks they should be first. Our school have sent our numerous emails - please do not speak to the teacher at the beginning of the day email any concerns as it’s important to get the children in and settled rather than hanging around and please wait to all the children released at end of the day before approaching teacher - 2 parents from her class obviously thought these rules didn’t apply to them….many a time I’ve been ‘rude’ interrupted the conversation to say please can you release my daughter so we can go home ….the teacher was lovely and the parent just took advantage of that! The parent once did say to me she was in a rush as she was parked over someone’s drive grhhh

over50andfab · 13/01/2022 12:19

As this thread is trending again perhaps if we tag the OP @NadjaofAntipaxos she might give us an update?

AnonyMum21 · 13/01/2022 12:36

Just wanted to say well done to OP on confronting him… and thank you for keeping us updated with your progress at the time

Joining the others who are wondering how it has gone since then, and hope neither you or your kids have felt any bad consequences

MotherOfDragons27 · 13/01/2022 12:41

I need to know if he's still being an obnoxious twat bag! OP come back!

ArcheryAnnie · 13/01/2022 13:19

Well done, OP!