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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Rude school Dad. AIBU to say something?

600 replies

NadjaofAntipaxos · 15/12/2021 17:52

When I'm picking DS up from reception, parents queue up down a narrow space between the school building and a fence and the teacher stands in the doorway calling each child out in order of parents in the queue. It's a long queue, 30 kids to be collected. You have to wait a while if you're at the back. I'm usually one of the last in the queue as I collect older DD first from another playground, so I've never noticed this before but today she had a playdate so I was maybe number six in the queue waiting before the classroom door opened.

Shortly before the door opened, one Dad just strolled past everyone and stood at the front of the queue. Right past about 20 other people and collected his kid third or fourth. Proceeded to also have lengthy "bants" with the teacher, delaying everyone else's child getting called and signalling he is in no hurry.

I was quite astonished and said to the mum behind me "I'm assuming he has a good reason for pushing past everyone else who's waiting". She just rolled her eyes and shook her head and said "every night".

Now I have encountered this man before on a couple of occasions and I took against him then. Spidey senses signalled the twat-horn. When a few parents took our children to the park across from school and I was part of a group standing chatting which included his wife who seems lovely, he barged in and took over the conversation. I learned they have older kids, so it's not like he has to dash off and collect other kids. He announced he is now retired (would guess he is late 40s early 50s) and his wife works part time and apparently he's a self-made business man who likes to boast about his money . So not rushing back after school to start work again (like me and lots of other parents). There was also a streak of sexism too, man barges into group of women and takes over.

So clearly I am being petty to let this piss me off enough to write a Mumsnet thread about it. But what would you do? I should just get over it I know. But ... So. Annoying. (His self proclaimed cheeky chappy persona gives me rage.) And our kids are likely to have another 14 years of school together.

Or shall I make sure I start getting to school early so I can address it with him if he does his entitled push-in job again? What do I say? He is an arrogant fucker clearly so would need to be well considered. Hence asking you wise people.
Do I even email school in a PA fashion to ask that they send out an email to all re queueing etiquette? I feel lovely teachers have enough to deal with, especially as I noticed CF dad being told by teacher at parents evening he was "cheeky". Didn't hear the comment he made but know the teacher and her tone suggested "back the fuck off".
Yes yabu - move on, get a life
No yanbu - take him down, or try to and get egg on face

OP posts:
LovelyJubblyBubbly · 15/12/2021 18:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DartmoorDoughnut · 15/12/2021 18:41

100% take the fucker down.

Treacletreacle · 15/12/2021 18:41

I had this last year with a mum at my daughters nursery but it was always drop off rather than pick up. The children had to have their temperature taken and have hand sanitizer used, so obviously abit of a queue would form. She would let her son almost run you over with his scooter then would make an announcement out loud enough for everyone to hear that her darling boy liked to be first....well leave home earlier then!... Then she would announce she had to go to work, like the rest of us didn't. I never said anything to her because I'm a master at saying all I think with my bitch face and also I would make sure my elbows were sticking out so she never dared jump in front of me. But it would still wind me up watching how rude and self entitled she thought she was.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 15/12/2021 18:42

I’m raging on the queue’s behalf.

Enko · 15/12/2021 18:42

would work better if you are at the bottom of the queue when he walks past you speak up " the queue starts here" big huge smile add a head tilt and asks "didn't you see?"

StopGo · 15/12/2021 18:44

@PuntasticUsername

Fuck the cunt up. Stale lemon drizzle cake to the back of the head should do it.
Perfect answer I'm in tears laughing, thank you.
LovelyJubblyBubbly · 15/12/2021 18:44

I’ve asked for my first post to be deleted, I miswrote a word 🙈

This fucker has really annoyed me.

My first thought was to get hold of one of those ticket machine things you get at the deli counter. (Not sure how easy this would be BTW!……so maybe a diy effort is required here!)
Everyone in the queue is in on it and has already got their numbered tickets. Old numnuts strides along and you as the newly anointed leader step out in his path and fire a ticket at him. I’m thinking he might not quite get it initially so the rest of your supporter’s might need to start waving their tickets aloft until he gets the picture.
If you do decide to go with this, please please film it OP but at the very least do keep us updated🤞

BobbieT1999 · 15/12/2021 18:45

@LittleMG

Take. Him. Down.
This!

The sexism in his behaviour infuriates me far more than the queue jumping.

🍿

Senmumm2021 · 15/12/2021 18:46

The first-timers in my son's reception class have decided to queue every pick up and drop off. It isnt necessary or standard as those of us with older children have said more than once.

Likewise, my son is released as soon as I get there regardless of where I'm stood because he needs to be.

donquixotedelamancha · 15/12/2021 18:46

As in I can't see him pushing past a load of men somehow

That's for a very simple reason: in a queue of men at least one person would tell him off.

Somersetlady · 15/12/2021 18:46

Neither am I

FredtheCatsMum · 15/12/2021 18:47

When he barges into the queue 'Excuse me, there's a queue here'.

When he pushes into your conversation. 'Sorry, what? ' and then go back to whatever you were talking about

Don't put up with a*s

Eddielzzard · 15/12/2021 18:47

Did you not notice the queue?

Or trip him as he walks past.

Or talk about him loudly and passive aggressively to the person next to you

Organise a revolt

Pelt him with rotten eggs

Tar and feather

WhatyoutalkingaboutWillis · 15/12/2021 18:49

Say, Excuse me Miss is there a separate queue for men and women?

WobblyLondoner · 15/12/2021 18:49

@sparepantsandtoothbrush

I probably wouldn't have said anything when I was a younger mum but I'm more pissed off at the world these days and would 100% tell him to get to the back of the queue and wait like everyone else. Absolute bellend
Couldn't agree more.

Completely off topic but does everyone but me know what bellend means? I had NO idea until my DS told me (and then I needed to check). Blush He is a bellend though.

RamblingOldWoman · 15/12/2021 18:49

YWBU not to say something OP. DC have to learn to take their turn so I’d point that out to him as well.

I wouldn’t involve the teacher as they have enough to deal with.

Just shout out if you see him walk to the front of the queue tomorrow. ‘TwatDad, we’re all waiting our turn as this is a queue. The end of it is back there. Do you need me to direct you?’

It’s not as if anyone is going to look badly at you for doing that, except him and if he’s not embarrassed, then it doesn’t matter what he thinks.

PuntasticUsername · 15/12/2021 18:51

@StopGo Grin

Sexnotgender · 15/12/2021 18:52

As long as there’s not an actual reason the kid needs picked up first then do your worst. I can picture the arrogant shithead strolling passed all the mums. Twat.

Mojoj · 15/12/2021 18:52

I have said this before - is this an English thing....this inability to tell someone to fuck off? This would never, and I mean never, happen in any queue in Glasgow. Not unless you wanted your head to play with....🤣🤣🤣

cherrypie66 · 15/12/2021 18:53

Get someone with a buggy to block the way through

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/12/2021 18:53

I’d email the office tbh

It might be a cowards way out but if he turned nasty in front of my child, I wouldn’t enjoy that

Sexnotgender · 15/12/2021 18:54

@WobblyLondoner afraid it’s just you😂

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/12/2021 18:55

Well I might say something to be honest

But as long as I was absolutely sure his child doesn’t have some sort of learning difficulty that somehow means he “has to”’do this (although why couldn’t he get there early if so?)

BobbieT1999 · 15/12/2021 18:56

Just shout out if you see him walk to the front of the queue tomorrow. ‘TwatDad, we’re all waiting our turn as this is a queue. The end of it is back there. Do you need me to direct you?’

Please actually call him TwatDad when you do this Grin Grin

fuckoffjournalists · 15/12/2021 18:56

Tell us what happens!!!

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