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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it normal for your partner to just use your car whenever he feels like it even if he has a car of his own.

243 replies

Nomoreminecraftplease · 12/12/2021 16:05

Just that really. He will use it whenever he feels like it and doesn't feel the need to even tell me he'll just do it and I either notice its not outside our house or I'll see him pull up in it. When I ask why he says you weren't using it or I thought I'd save petrol or I thought it could do with a run out as I'm working from home now. I used to have just one key and no spare. Then he got a spare key cut which I was grateful for at the time however hes recently cut himself a third key which I didn't know about which he's put on his own key ringing with his own car keys. Ive told him that taking my car without even asking or mentioning it is taking without consent. He told me Dont be so ridiculous.
He also took its upon himself to get my car mot ready this weekend. Secretly and again without asking.

OP posts:
Fomofo · 12/12/2021 16:06

Nah wouldn't bother me

Kbyodjs · 12/12/2021 16:07

I expect DH to ask; in the same way I expect him to ask to use things like my iPad if it involves taking it out of the house . Pretty rude to say he wants to save the petrol by using yours instead.

Anythingbutsnow · 12/12/2021 16:07

Yes mine does this. But I think it's a fair exchange for him sorting out the mot, tax, insurance,cleaning, valeting , changing bulbs all that sort of stuff that I hate doing.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 12/12/2021 16:07

Wouldn’t bother me. Happens all the time.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 12/12/2021 16:07

Start taking his car out randomly and see how he likes it! I also hope he's filling it up while he is out...

ToastCrumbsOnAPlate · 12/12/2021 16:08

It's taking the piss. What if you need to pop out and do something , or there's an emergency?

Frazzled50yrold · 12/12/2021 16:09

Can you take his car, if so I don't see a problem.Saving his own fuel would certainly be a problem.

Underbox · 12/12/2021 16:09

It wouldn't bother me too much as long I could drive his car if I needed to go out.

escapingthecity · 12/12/2021 16:09

Would he be OK if you did the same with his? Do you have a key to his car?

user1471442488 · 12/12/2021 16:09

Well yeah he’s taking the piss isn’t he? The cheek of him to take anything of yours without asking.

Also, by save petrol does he mean using yours instead of his own? Tight bastard if so.

This would do my head in and I’d put a stop to it.

FeckTheMagicDragon · 12/12/2021 16:09

Start taking his car? My husband uses my car more than me, my boot is bigger and it’s more comfy. But he always asks/tells me and leaves his keys for me just in case I need a one. He did suggest that he sell his car and just use mine and I said ‘no’ as I need to have a ‘my car’, not an ‘our car’.

NynaeveSedai · 12/12/2021 16:09

It's weird to take it without asking

Shedmistress · 12/12/2021 16:11

I mean, we tell each other if we are going out and when we had two cars I'd assume he'd gone in mine if his was outside. We aren't precious about it. But we didn't get secret keys cut or do it without telling each other. And we would fill the cars up for each other esp if the other had planned on doing alot of driving the next week.

MintyGreenDream · 12/12/2021 16:11

Is yours the better car
Or is he tight with fuel?

Clymene · 12/12/2021 16:11

Well do you take his car? I can understand if your cars are interchangeable but if it's what's mine is mine but what's yours is also mine then no, I wouldn't be happy

Fashio · 12/12/2021 16:12

ho0w rude

SpacePotato · 12/12/2021 16:12

This would piss me off tbh. Using your petrol and adding miles. Why the fuck does he need to when his own is right there?

Getting a key cut for himself so he has constant access to it is weird.

Fashio · 12/12/2021 16:12

it is taking withoutconsent

Hide the keys

Nomoreminecraftplease · 12/12/2021 16:13

I can't take his car as I only have an automatic license due to my disability. Some times he mentions it sometimes he doesn't

OP posts:
ProudThrilledHappy · 12/12/2021 16:13

Is he insured on it? Making his own key without asking would annoy me

Nomoreminecraftplease · 12/12/2021 16:15

Yes he is insured and I never used to mind but it's the attitude and the keys issues that annoys me

OP posts:
thenewduchessofhastings · 12/12/2021 16:16

Actually it would annoy me as he'd be clocking up extra miles and wear and tear on my car instead of his own.

He basically thinks his car is more important than yours.

Imdreamingofapeacefulxmas · 12/12/2021 16:17

Well it wouldn't bother me if he was open and not trying to use my petrol etc?

Nomoreminecraftplease · 12/12/2021 16:17

His car is the main family car and nicer. Mines just a runaround really

OP posts:
ponkydonkey · 12/12/2021 16:18

That would really Piss me off especially as you've asked him not to

I wouldn't let anyone drive either of my cars with out permission