Is it normal for your partner to just use your car whenever he feels like it even if he has a car of his own.

[Nomoreminecraftplease]

Just that really. He will use it whenever he feels like it and doesn't feel the need to even tell me he'll just do it and I either notice its not outside our house or I'll see him pull up in it. When I ask why he says you weren't using it or I thought I'd save petrol or I thought it could do with a run out as I'm working from home now. I used to have just one key and no spare. Then he got a spare key cut which I was grateful for at the time however hes recently cut himself a third key which I didn't know about which he's put on his own key ringing with his own car keys. Ive told him that taking my car without even asking or mentioning it is taking without consent. He told me Dont be so ridiculous.
He also took its upon himself to get my car mot ready this weekend. Secretly and again without asking.

@LouH1981

Absolutely wouldn’t bother. I’d also be really grateful that he got it mot ready for me!

Read the thread, OP is disabled and can’t drive his car.

Will there be times where you do need him to drive your car? If not, I’d take him off your policy. If he’s covered to drive your car on his own policy, I’d buy a steering wheel lock. And when he feigns shock and hurt that you would do such a thing, tell him it was because you were sick of him taking sodding liberties and telling you that your annoyance was ridiculous.

It sounds like he's doing it with the best of intentions, eg saving petrol generally for you both rather than you subsidising him, looking after the car. As you can't drive his I do think it's a bit off that he doesn't check you were going to use it before he takes it though.

He’s totally unreasonable to leave you without, not “a” car……YOUR car.

He’s got a key cut in secret… weird thing to do without checking.
I’d go and get a decent steering lock
Something like this ……
www.halfords.com/motoring/car-security/stoplock-pulsar-with-flashing-light-steering-wheel-lock-370320.html……

There are usually 2 keys…Keep the both keys yourself!!!

Your ability to remain mobile is non-negotiable.

Just to add though prepping for an MOT is quite a nice thing for him to do, but doesn’t negate the other unreasonable actions.

I used one of these steering locks for years…. Not as much of a faff to get on and off as you might think.
It’ll certainly drive your point home as it seems to be falling on deaf ears at the moment.
Good Luck 💐

[quote ToastCrumbsOnAPlate]@Youaremypenguin it does because she cannot drive his car due to her disability.[/quote]
Not because of her disability; it’s because she only has an automatic licence (obtained due to her disability).

I only have an automatic licence and can’t drive DH’s car because of this. I do not have a disability.

Both your cars need to be automatic, I’m surprised that wasn’t thought of when you/he purchased his. That would solve the problem?!
23 years married is a long time to be married not to just get on and share cars - the selfish bit is having a car you can’t drive!!
Wouldn’t annoy me he got yours mot ready though. That’s good stuff.

This strikes me as a bit of a control thing. You can't use his car and if he has yours you cannot get about . Is he controlling in other ways OP?

My DH does this but I could drive his car in an emergency. He should at least check with you first.

We share our cars... Whoever is driving the most that day takes the newer car. We have joint finances though so petrol money isn't an issue.

@Sosigsandwich

We share our cars... Whoever is driving the most that day takes the newer car. We have joint finances though so petrol money isn't an issue.

Astonishing!!

2 days later and STILL some are not reading the OPs posts fully!

@Sosigsandwich

We share our cars... Whoever is driving the most that day takes the newer car. We have joint finances though so petrol money isn't an issue.

Where's @Animood when you need them? 😆

If you're disabled, does your car have a blue badge? He could be using it for convenience then because he can park anywhere more or less - just like my father in law does with the mother in law's car. Its easy now because ' not all disabilities are visible ' so he can park without being challenged.

@Ilovegardens

If you're disabled, does your car have a blue badge? He could be using it for convenience then because he can park anywhere more or less - just like my father in law does with the mother in law's car. Its easy now because ' not all disabilities are visible ' so he can park without being challenged.

That’s not how blue badges work, the badge is given to the disabled person, not the car. OP’s DH wouldn’t be entitled to use the blue badge just because the badge is in the glove compartment of the car.

If a parking warden asked DH to see the badge and saw that it has OP’s name and picture on it, the badge would be confiscated.

My cousin’s extremely tight, CF ExH used to do this. I think just to save his petrol. Have you told him straight that it annoys you and you’d prefer he used his own car?

Sorry I know you say you have told him straight but you’re within your rights to put your foot down IMO (no pun intended)

DP and I have been together for 26+ years and have 2 adult kids... we still ask if we can borrow the other's car. You never know when it could inconvenience them.

Sorry I haven't read the whole thread. You say you can't drive his car due to your disability. Do you have a Blue Badge? If so, is he using this as well? I think that could get him into trouble as I understand that it is for the person, not the car - you'd have to be in the car as well for it to be above board iyswim.

Quite apart from that, it's downright inconsiderate - I'd be really peeved if it was me.