Is it normal for your partner to just use your car whenever he feels like it even if he has a car of his own.

[Nomoreminecraftplease]

Just that really. He will use it whenever he feels like it and doesn't feel the need to even tell me he'll just do it and I either notice its not outside our house or I'll see him pull up in it. When I ask why he says you weren't using it or I thought I'd save petrol or I thought it could do with a run out as I'm working from home now. I used to have just one key and no spare. Then he got a spare key cut which I was grateful for at the time however hes recently cut himself a third key which I didn't know about which he's put on his own key ringing with his own car keys. Ive told him that taking my car without even asking or mentioning it is taking without consent. He told me Dont be so ridiculous.
He also took its upon himself to get my car mot ready this weekend. Secretly and again without asking.

Do you share finances? How long have you been together?

My oh sold his car during Lockdown 1, as we both now wfh, and bought yet another motorcycle to go with the rest. Ifvits cold or wet he always uses my car, comes back low on fuel, coffee cups in it, rubbish .... drives me nuts

I’d hate it! Apart from anything else when I get back in it would have to adjust seat mirrors heating music etc
DS or DP always ask first if they need a car swap

It wouldn’t bother me - we use our cars interchangeably. BUT. We have a joint account that all petrol / car costs comes out of, he takes care of all the car stuff so he usually returns it cleaner, and lastly - and most importantly - him taking my car doesn’t leave me stranded as I would just use his instead. Can you use his if he takes yours?

We've been married 23 years but I only passed my test 8 years ago. We ahare finances and also have our own accounts so both really

So you can't drive his due to a disability? He wants you housebound then doesn't he. Cheeky bastard.

I can't use his because its a manual car and I only have an automatic license

@thenewduchessofhastings

Actually it would annoy me as he'd be clocking up extra miles and wear and tear on my car instead of his own.

He basically thinks his car is more important than yours.

Yes I agree this is probably the case.

Wouldnt bother me. Our drive way is long and narrow so one car parked in front of the other. We tend to just take whichever car is at the front, which is usually mine as I drive it more.

I was going to say you're being a bit precious, until I saw you cant drive his car. Its unfair for him to leave you without a drive able car.

Your disability makes a difference. All our cars are insured for everyone and interchangeable but you can't drive his so YANBU!

Does he respect your belongings in general op?

We both use each others car. Does it matter?

It would piss me off on the basis you can’t take his car so he’s leaving you without transport if you need it.

I’d take the spare key off him, he’s leaving you stranded by just taking it without asking, I’d be really annoyed.

If you’re married and share finances I can’t see the issue. We have two cars between us and just use whichever one is more suitable for the task or nearer the door.

@Youaremypenguin

We both use each others car. Does it matter?

The OP has said she can’t drive his car.

Ah just seen you can’t use his. In that case he should check with you.

@Youaremypenguin it does because she cannot drive his car due to her disability.

@Youaremypenguin

We both use each others car. Does it matter?

Didn't you read the part where the op has a disability so can only drive automatics? Her husband's car is a manual

My ex used to do this and it annoyed me because we kept our money separate and he did it to use my fuel and not his own - and in part cause I had a nicer car (that I’d paid for). Also he drove it like a t*at and the disrespect for it really annoyed me.

Me and my husband share cars, we share money and treat each other’s possessions with respect. That’s the difference for me.

In that case, he is being an absolute dick. Well out of order.
You need to put a stop to that nonsense.

He is being controlling. I would not stand for this. It will get worse and worse.

Mrs. Hr used mine all the time, I'm not arsed.
She doesn't ask.
Although her boss has suggested they may have to go into the office all week next. That'll put 600-700 miles on the clock.
That's a bit annoying tbh.

He is using your petrol rather than his by the sounds of it .. or is your car better ?

If you can't physically drive his car, he needs to be more thoughtful.

DH mix and match with our cars. (I generally have the modern, safer car as I drive the kids around). This week I have 'his' car as his needs to go to the garage which did slightly annoy me as he didn't ask which day would be convenient for me to take it there and he's booked it in for when I need it, so I'll need to take taxis. He apologised though.

I can't take his car as I only have an automatic license due to my disability.

If you shared two cars I wouldn't see a problem but he's effectively leaving you without a car which I would not find acceptable and I would be doubly pissed off by being told I was being ridiculous. I would take all keys back from him and tell him he can't use it at all. That may seem extreme but he is showing no respect or consideration for the fact you are stranded without transport if he takes your car.