To be worried my sister is doing the Alpha course?

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Just for a bit of context. My family is and always has been agnostic and left wing. My sister (early thirties) recently met a new partner who comes from a very religious evangelical Christian family. Their relationship surprised us all thinking there was be such a gulf that they wouldn’t stay together long but recently my brother told me my sister is doing the Alpha course and he was concerned she might have some pressure on her to convert to their religion. I’d this right? I’ve never had any experience of this course or religion. I’m worried. Thanks for any info or experiences x

No one should be pressured to convert, but if she chose it freely would that still worry you? Can you articulate why?

Plenty of religious people are also left wing politically, by the way

What on earth are you worried about? She's allowed to change her mind about christianity and its pretty mainstream as religions go.

Rearranging your beliefs to better mirror your partner doesn't scream healthy relationship though.

The Alpha course is very much discussion based - it’s not about converting people, it’s about giving people a chance to ask questions and explore what Christianity is and what it could be to them. Obviously some people to become Christians afterwards but plenty don’t, they just keep exploring. So I wouldn’t worry about her doing Alpha.

My friend did it and didn’t seem to suffer any ill effects; on the contrary she seemed happy. I’m not the biggest fan of religion but it does seem to work for some people

No, I don’t think there would be any pressure from the course itself. It’s billed as more of an investigation about beliefs but very much open to all denominations so reckon it wouldn’t be super full on. Of course there could be pressure coming from the partner themselves…

Alpha is very large and not generally considered cultish.

That said a friend who is a priest has expressed strong concerns to me about their methodologies and psychological manipulation applied.

I wouldn't be too concerned. She isn't going to be exploited for money or asked to adopt much in the way of new customs. Shell be a Christian at the end of that, and that isn't going to leave her some social pariah.

You could keep an eye on other beliefs and practices of her boyfriend she suddenly wants to take up, and talk to her about the methods of the course to help with her awareness.

I'm as atheist as they come but the CofE is hardly a dangerous cult. She'll be fine.

The idea of the alpha course is to explore Christianity- it's not a brainwashing course! However, some people do go on to convert after doing the course. Is that a problem? I would encourage to support your sister in her choice.

If she is being pressured or forced, then yes, is is worrying. If she has chosen to do the course of her own free will, then I don't see the issue. Maybe she has decided or is considering becoming a Christian. Or, if church is an important part of her new partner's life then she may be doing the course to learn a bit about it?

You could... talk to her about it?

To be honest she probably will get a bit of a hard sell on the Alpha course - even though it's often billed as simply a way to 'find out more' of course the churches that run it want converts. But she's an adult woman, I assume of normal intellectual capability and not vulnerable in any way, so she can make her own mind up.

I was baptised in my 30s and my family didn't love it - I think it is understandably quite challenging for people sometimes. They were supportive, though, and I'd have been so disappointed if they hadn't been.

Have you considered that she might be more interested in religion than you realised. Her seeking a partner who has faith might be an active decision she has taken in order to explore her own spirituality.

Alpha is not a cult and nor is Christianity.

Over 24 million people worldwide have done an Alpha Course. It is pretty mainstream. If worried, why not ask if you can go with her and see how it is presented.
The one I went to we had a nice meal and chat and then watched a video and talked about it. There was no pressure on anyone. Some people already believed but wanted to attend to see what it was like. Some people were very sceptical and remained so.Some people who had been questioning became convinced that Jesus was real and became Christians. There was much healthy and respectful discussion and everyone enjoyed it. She is a grown up and surely allowed to decide what she believes even if different to rest of family?

Is it free exploration, or is it a path to conversion? That's the question. The answer lies with her BF and their relationship, not with the course itself.

Oh, and I converted to Christianity but I kept my labour party membership - they don't make you give it up! Your sister can be a left-wing christian just as easily as she can be a left-wing agnostic if that's what she wants to be.

It's not so much the Alpha (which I think is fairly respectable?). It's more about whether she is happy and OK in her life - I always wonder about this when adults start turning to God.

However in this case hopefully she is just doing it to snare a guy she likes. I have friends who have turned Mormon, turned vegetarian, developed an interest in vintage cars, been baptised Catholic and planted allotments in pursuit of love. In most cases it has worked out well and the special interest has been quietly dropped once the deal is sealed.

So keep an eye on it but she probably knows what she's doing.

I’m worried that she has had pressure to do the course and convert to something I know previously she would never have considered. I suppose I’m thinking it’s sort of coercive in this instance (within the context of their relationship which has a few other red flags).

Yes re the left wing thing, I suppose I was highlighting the fact that my family is very liberal and not conservative with a little c, whereas his family, via their religion I believe, have very different views on LGBTQ+ rights, Women’s rights etc. They (the family) are fundamentalist Christians and interpret the bible in that way. I’m not sure denying evolution would be considered mainstream nowadays @knittingaddict or maybe I’m wrong 🤷‍♀️

No I wouldn't be concerned.. it's literally a video and discussion once a week. C of e is hardly Scientology...

Exactly what I’m worried about @FourTeaFallOut

There won’t be any pressure to convert on the course. Friends have done it. Some have become Christians after, others haven’t. Maybe she sees it as a way of understanding her partner’s faith better.

I think it's fair to say that some religious people have beliefs and attitudes that are very conservative and if you felt that your loved one was changing their whole personality and outlook - whether religion was involved or not - it would be perfectly understandable to be concerned. But the essential definition of what it means to be a Christian is that Jesus was the son of God and died for our sins - other than that, Christians come from all walks of life, social and political backgrounds etc.

I don't have a lot of skin in the game by the way - my friends and family are a completely mixed bag of agnostics, atheists and various religions, I grew up going to church but I've never done the Alpha course and consider myself agnostic. So I'm not banging a drum for Christianity, just gently suggesting that you approach your sister's interest with an open mind.

Thank you @CoffeeWithMyOxygen that is really helpful to know

The one I went to we had a nice meal and chat and then watched a video and talked about it. There was no pressure on anyone.

Sounds like one of those time share meetings.

The Alpha course is just a very VERY basic introduction to what Christianity is about. It's basically video based, you can find all the videos on YouTube (if you're that worried), you watch it as a group then chat about it and share any stories of your own. There's a no test, no verses to swear by etc just a basic harmless 'this is what we believe and why' couple of videos.

I'm not sure why you are worried. Have you actually looked at what the Alpha course is and what evangelical churches are like? Alpha is offered at nearly every church where I live. Its not some obscure, secretive cult.
Most evangelical churches are pretty mainstream Christian churches, they are just a lot more lively from what I can see.
I have no religious faith myself but my family do. My mother turned to an evangelical church in her 40s when the church she had attended for over 10 years turfed her out for having the audacity to get divorced.
She and my step dad did the Alpha course over lockdown - they are both 78.
My son has always gone to church with them when we visited. He has now found a church where we live. He is 17 and if he came home and said he wanted to do Alpha I wouldnt have a problem with it.
Your sister is in her 30s so more than old enough to explore issues of faith if thats what she wants.