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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be worried my sister is doing the Alpha course?

510 replies

Southtrainer · 11/12/2021 11:30

Just for a bit of context. My family is and always has been agnostic and left wing. My sister (early thirties) recently met a new partner who comes from a very religious evangelical Christian family. Their relationship surprised us all thinking there was be such a gulf that they wouldn’t stay together long but recently my brother told me my sister is doing the Alpha course and he was concerned she might have some pressure on her to convert to their religion. I’d this right? I’ve never had any experience of this course or religion. I’m worried. Thanks for any info or experiences x

OP posts:

Stath · 11/12/2021 12:51

amp.theguardian.com/theguardian/2000/oct/21/weekend7.weekend

It’s quite old but Jon Ronson’s piece about the Alpha Course is interesting.

Wafflesnsniffles · 11/12/2021 12:53

@LadyMary50

The other thing to note,if anyone goes on to convert and be baptised they have to agree to subscribe a third of their salary a month to the church…

Its a voluntary (but encouraged) contribution - a tithe. ie a tenth as mentioned in the bible. Most definitely not a third.

Tricked2003 · 11/12/2021 12:53

@LadyMary50

The other thing to note,if anyone goes on to convert and be baptised they have to agree to subscribe a third of their salary a month to the church…

This is absolute rubbish!!! Some churches do practise and encourage tithing (giving 10% to the church) but I've never heard of anywhere following 1/3

TheViewFromTheCheapSeats · 11/12/2021 12:53

I also find it narrow, it rather over-emphasis’s the Holy Spirit. Mary isn’t explored really. Sin isn’t discussed much. It’s a certain interpretation of Christianity, rather than a wide open discussion of the faith on a broader level, or really much discussion of the tricky bits around the reasons for salvation. Sort of a gentle lure

stingofthebutterfly · 11/12/2021 12:53

I suggest you do more research into the Alpha course before deciding that it brainwashes people.

EnidSpyton · 11/12/2021 12:54

Good for you @Smileyduck.

Unfortunately most evangelical churches are not like yours.

If people really knew what went on behind the doors of most evangelical churches, they would be shocked and appalled at the homophobia and misogyny, and the lack of care for people who are clearly very vulnerable and looking for any port in a storm.

dworky · 11/12/2021 12:55

People saying not to worry as it's not a cult.

All religions are a cult in reality, some are simply less extreme & more subtlety misogynist.

hivemindneeded · 11/12/2021 12:58

All religions are a cult in reality, some are simply less extreme & more subtlety misogynist.
@dworky - have you studied them and practised within them all in depth for you to know this?

Alltheblue · 11/12/2021 12:58

The other thing to note,if anyone goes on to convert and be baptised they have to agree to subscribe a third of their salary a month to the church…

That is bollocks. Where are you getting it from?

bizboz · 11/12/2021 12:58

Alpha is a basic introduction to Christianity not a cult. I've never done the course but I'm a regular churchgoer (CofE) and member of the Labour Party. I don't get this idea that churchgoers are right wing. In .y experience it's the opposite. I live in a true blue town but the vast majority of people I've met at my church are left wing and liberal. My church has had both female and gay vicars. My town has houses refugees and has an asylum seeker holding centre in it. The church has done far more to support local refugees than the local (Tory) council.

EnidSpyton · 11/12/2021 12:59

@Stath

amp.theguardian.com/theguardian/2000/oct/21/weekend7.weekend

It’s quite old but Jon Ronson’s piece about the Alpha Course is interesting.

This article is spot on.

And for those of you thinking the whole thing is harmless - please read it. And this quote, from Nicky Gumble, who designed the Alpha course:

"I was talking to a homosexual friend," says Tony, "and he said that ever since he was a child he found himself attracted to other boys. So why does the church think he's committing a sin? Are you going to Hell if you commit a sexual act that is completely normal to you? That seems a bit unfair, doesn't it?" There is a murmur of agreement from the group.

"First of all," says Nicky, "I have many wonderful homosexual friends. There's even an Alpha for gays running in Beverly Hills! Really! I think it's marvellous! But if a paedophile said, 'Ever since I was a child I found myself attracted to children', we wouldn't say that that was normal, would we?" A small gasp. "Now, I am not for a moment comparing homosexuals with paedophiles, but the Bible makes it very clear that sex outside marriage, including homosexual sex, is, unfortunately, a sin." He says he wishes it wasn't so, but the Bible makes it clear that gay people need to be healed.

hivemindneeded · 11/12/2021 12:59

@stingofthebutterfly

I suggest you do more research into the Alpha course before deciding that it brainwashes people.

Quite. I have a friend who's practically banned form the local Alpha as she keeps going and asks so many questions. She's still agnostic.

And I went on Alpha and just thought 'meh!' Didn't begin to answer my questions. Barely scratched the surface. As far from brainwashing as it could be. It's a few bible chats and dinners. No big deal.

Alltheblue · 11/12/2021 13:00

The C of E is actually - contrary to popular belief- far more open, accepting and progressive than evangelical churches, who believe they're holding on to the 'true' faith while the C of E capitulates to what 'society' wants

This is accurate.

HangingDitch · 11/12/2021 13:03

I’m an atheist. DP and family are Roman Catholics. It’s never been an issue, they do their thing, I do mine. As for left wing, the whole family are very active members of the Labour Party.

NannyR · 11/12/2021 13:03

@ofwarren

Wow, I never knew. I would certainly not want to attend a church like that. Mine is just the straight forward CofE parish church in town. Like a previous poster said, it's flower arranging, knitting group, mothers union etc. I've never been asked to donate a penny.

Surely there's an offertory box (or contactless card payment facilities). In our (mainstream CofE, evangelical, as in wanting to share the gospel) church we are encouraged to think towards tithing, but no one is asked to or forced to. The church doesn't run on fresh air, our church is very transparent about where every single penny goes and depends on the congregation donating what they can.

Clymene · 11/12/2021 13:04

I was going to post a link to that Ronson expose. I'm glad someone else has. All this 'oh it's just harmless' stuff misses the very point of what evangelism is.

Wisenotboring · 11/12/2021 13:05

@LadyMary50

The other thing to note,if anyone goes on to convert and be baptised they have to agree to subscribe a third of their salary a month to the church…

This is absolutely ridiculous and not at all true..

ErrolTheDragon · 11/12/2021 13:05

@Alltheblue

This is accurate.

No it's not - a large wing of the CofE (and broader Anglican communion ) is Evangelical.

In part, attending a very popular 'lively' CofE church while a student, instead of the more staid, non-fundamentalist nonconformist church I was raised in contributed to me now being an atheist.
With any luck the OPs sister will find it too extreme and the anti gay etc stance too much at odds with her ethical compass.

Campfirewood · 11/12/2021 13:06

The other thing to note,if anyone goes on to convert and be baptised they have to agree to subscribe a third of their salary a month to the church…

That's just not true in most churches (I've moved around a lot, as ex armed forces) and I've attended 7-8 different churches, of various persuasions (CofE, Baptist, evangelical, to the very liberal).
I have donated money when I've wanted to, no one ever asked or told me how much! And many times I didn't.

Echobelly · 11/12/2021 13:07

I wouldn't worry about Alpha, it's not extreme or culty, it's just a course about Christianity, yes there will probably be encouragement to fully embrace Christianity but I think pretty much the whole idea of it is not to be 'pushy'. I'm Jewish, BTW, but it's always sounded like a fairly reasonable thing to me.

Onceuponatimethen · 11/12/2021 13:08

My dp did this and joined the church after. He then gave a three figure sum to the church. In hindsight he feels he was vulnerable. He’s back to being an atheist again now.

gogohm · 11/12/2021 13:12

The alpha course is about questions and varies depending upon who is delivering it too. But as far as left wing, every clergy I know (work for c of e) are politically left of centre, I think the guardian is required reading for writing sermons . Honestly we are aren't crazy American style Christian's in the U.K. mostly, we work with the poorest and most disenfranchised people in society, and live among them rather than dictating how they should live.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 11/12/2021 13:12

The other thing to note,if anyone goes on to convert and be baptised they have to agree to subscribe a third of their salary a month to the church…

Eh?!

This is not true at all! Anyone who has told you this is lying.

TatianaBis · 11/12/2021 13:13

I don’t have good impression of evangelicalism in general.

I’m friends with a couple who are both happy clappy, both doctors, very happy, a bit dappy about god, but completely fine, as long as they don’t bore me with Leviticus etc. They do believe I’m damned as I am not of the right convictions, but as they’re otherwise clever and interesting people, I see it as an amusing foible.

But another friend, now sadly dead, was very much sucked into evangelicalism when vulnerable - for her I think it was very damaging.

Not least when she was diagnosed with a terminal illness, her group all believed she would be healed by a miracle. She wasn’t.

In short, evangalicialsm has to be handled very carefully for it not to become cultish, and anyone who thinks there’s nothing to worry about is exceptionally naive imo.

Coffeeneedednow · 11/12/2021 13:14

I did the Alpha course (as an already Christian). You are in discussion groups and have a chat. You're not obliged to contribute to the discussion. My group was lovely, I just had a problem with one member who told me things that made me very uncomfortable. I spoke to a leader who sorted it.
If anything, I'd say it doesn't discuss Christianity deeply enough.
And you definitely do not have to give a third of what you have. You give whatever is in your heart to give.

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