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To wonder why this has come through the post for DH..?
258

namechangedaily · 07/12/2021 14:43

Saw an opened perfumed shaped parcel on the side and curiosity got the better of me so thought I'd sneak and see if it was the Chanel perfume I'd be hinting about. Found this..
Would you assume it's a secret Santa?
Or I've just had a baby and he clearly isn't getting enough...

To wonder why this has come through the post for DH..?
OP's posts:
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Chasingaftermidnight · 07/12/2021 15:55

Buying a sex toy is fine. What’s less fine is leaving the parcel open on the side. He’s either lazy as fuck or he wanted you to find it. I think the latter option is more likely. And in either event he didn’t care if your kid found it.

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DrSbaitso · 07/12/2021 15:57

In which circles would this be a secret santa gift?

Downing Street?

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PussyCatEatingPigsInBlankets · 07/12/2021 15:58

@DrSbaitso

In which circles would this be a secret santa gift?

Downing Street?

😂😂
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Cheeseplantboots · 07/12/2021 16:02

@RicherThanYew

Only on Mumsnet can your partner buy creepy as fuck sex "toys" and the OP is in the wrong. You lot are something else.

Agree, or shame them for not wanting sex after just having a baby. If a man can’t do without sex for a few months he’s not worth having! MN is like a different planet!
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fdgdfgdfgdfg · 07/12/2021 16:02

I actually know someone who got one of these as a secret santa present. It ended up getting lobbed around the pub all night and (I'm hoping) never used.

I also used to own something similar for myself. Cleaning it involves chucking a load of water and sex toy cleaner down it, it's open on both ends so everything comes out the other end. Drying it afterwards is the more difficult problem, its not like you can just leave it sat on top of the radiator and towel fluff tends to stick to it. It ended up getting binned as it was a pain in the arse to clean.

As far as I know my wife never knew I had it. I bought it as we weren't having much sex and I didn't want to risk the dreaded death grip. If she had had a problem with it it would have been fairly hypocritical, she's got at least 5 phallus shaped things, and at least 2 of them are veiny and anatomically correct ( well, if you ignore the purpleness).

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Shehasadiamondinthesky · 07/12/2021 16:02

It could be worse, at least it isn't live webcams.

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Pazuzu · 07/12/2021 16:05

It's a scale model of a sandworm from Dune...what's the issue?

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mewkins · 07/12/2021 16:07

@BarkminsterBlue

Of all the things that I would think on finding this, “that must be a secret Santa gift” is pretty far down the list…

See that would be at the top of my list Grin
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Alonelonelyloner · 07/12/2021 16:09

I just take mine into the shower to clean them when I wash myself - usually post-sex as we use them together.
My DP bought me an enormous dildo once that was quite eye watering, but pretty awesome when I had stopped looking at it and gave it a try.

He is clearly quite open about it. I wouldn't take it as a criticism of my sexual abilities or availability!

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Moonmelodies · 07/12/2021 16:18

Perhaps he wants it to practice cunnilingus, for when you're ready.

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FestiveFruitloop · 07/12/2021 16:19

Says 'low stock' on Lovehoney's site. And there I was thinking the Velvetiser was this year's gift of choice...

Seriously though OP, I can imagine what a shock this would have been. Do you think you'll talk to him about it?

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MilduraS · 07/12/2021 16:21

I bought something like that for my DH. If it helps, he said it was really loud and off putting so it hasn't seen the light of day since.

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PinotPony · 07/12/2021 16:22

The moral outrage from some posters on here is utterly bizarre. There's absolutely nothing wrong with a man buying himself a flesh light.

It is no different than a woman buying a vibrator. Plenty of vibrators are designed to look like real cocks. Would you be "disgusted" at a woman cleaning her dildo after she'd cum over it..?

He's not pressuring OP for sex or being a sex pest. If she doesn't want to have sex (quite understandable if she's just had a baby), that doesn't mean the poor man can't have a solo wank. It's not disrespectful to her. Everyone knows that MASTURBATING IS GOOD FOR YOU! 😁

In answer to your question OP... just ask him!

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EmeraldShamrock · 07/12/2021 16:22

I'd be very annoyed if my partner opened any package with my name on it.

I don't see any issues with anyone using a sex toy.

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shouldistop · 07/12/2021 16:24

Did you seriously open a parcel addressed to your husband to see if he'd bought you perfume for Christmas?

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westofnormal · 07/12/2021 16:24

Seems pretty obvious to me. You obviously have issues since you illegally opened his mail and are also not going to talk to him about it, but are instead asking strangers to mind read.

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CounsellorTroi · 07/12/2021 16:26

@shouldistop

Did you seriously open a parcel addressed to your husband to see if he'd bought you perfume for Christmas?

No she didn’t it was already opened.
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Lalliella · 07/12/2021 16:27

You shouldn’t have opened his post.

Nothing wrong with him having this is there? Better than an OW!

I like your worktop btw.

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blameless · 07/12/2021 16:28

@BobMortimersPetOwl

Don't see the big deal. Nobody needs to seek permission to buy or use a sex toy.

You sound like the person who got escorted from Ann Summers - apparently you should use them only AFTER you've bought them.
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gannett · 07/12/2021 16:29

@TheVanguardSix

Ah OP, I do feel for you.
You JUST had a baby and seeing this makes you feel pressured to meet the needs of your man-baby at a time when you are so tired and in recovery mode (and new mum mode!).
It'd be like if your DH was about to go through chemo, rads, and surgery and your first thought is, "I'm gonna need a big, sparkly purple, gyrating plastic cock to see me through! That's my priority!"
I don't know... I'm getting old. What happened to men just slamming their dicks between two dried logs?

Isn't the point is that he's NOT pressuring her, because he's off sorting himself out with this thing? Which is surely what one would want?
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WhenSepEnds · 07/12/2021 16:32

@namechangedaily it's not secret Santa sent to his home address. Just tell him you had other parcels delivered and opened his parcel by mistake?

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Franklyfrost · 07/12/2021 16:32

I’d be tempted to leave something inside it. A peeled boiled egg if you want to give him nightmares. Or a sprig of holly to make it festive. Seriously though, that is low grade harmless snooping on your part and a fairly harmless hobby on your husbands.

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shouldistop · 07/12/2021 16:32

@CounsellorTroi but back in the packaging. Op knew she was snooping. I'd be really annoyed if dh was looking through parcels for his Christmas present.

Op I don't see the problem with him masturbating, especially if it's instead of pressuring you for sex when you've just had a baby

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me4real · 07/12/2021 16:33

In theory there's nothing wrong with him having a toy.

But that particular one is a bit gross.

I don't think I would say anything though OP, if you can resist. Smile Whatever floats his boat.

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LampLighter414 · 07/12/2021 16:35

At least he is sorting himself out rather than being a sex pest. Plenty of threads moaning about those sorts on here.

Let him off

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