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To wonder why this has come through the post for DH..?
258

namechangedaily · 07/12/2021 14:43

Saw an opened perfumed shaped parcel on the side and curiosity got the better of me so thought I'd sneak and see if it was the Chanel perfume I'd be hinting about. Found this..
Would you assume it's a secret Santa?
Or I've just had a baby and he clearly isn't getting enough...

To wonder why this has come through the post for DH..?
OP's posts:
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DirtyDancing · 07/12/2021 16:37

Sorry but can you imagining opening that at the work Xmas do?! Fuck me!

Anyway, it's clearly his. Best to have a chat with him about it

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Rtmhwales · 07/12/2021 16:38

Did you open post that was addressed solely to him? That's illegal where I live. I'd be livid if DP opened my post, especially if the cause was to snoop for a gift.

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Poisinedmummy · 07/12/2021 16:39

Ask him… At least his shagging a toy and not someone else I suppose 😂

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oakleaffy · 07/12/2021 16:42

@namechangedaily
Just ask him that you found a funny torch that hasn't got a bulb, and why is it called ''Ella?''

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itspartytime · 07/12/2021 16:43

I'd set up the table for two,wine and candles and then when he asks why you won't sit with him, say his date is already seated ( leave the box on the chair ) even a faux pissy would like to be wined and dined I'm sure!

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Anaximedes · 07/12/2021 16:43

creepy as fuck sex "toys"

How is a vibrator okay (assuming you think it is? sorry if not, that's a different conversation entirely) but the anatomical opposite for the opposite sex to use isn't?

I think now you have opened it OP, you need to pick the right time to apologise for opening his post and seeing it, and have a conversation with him saying of course that's fine and you hope he enjoys using it, but please do feel okay to talk to you about our romantic life/sex life if you would like to. After all, maybe he doesn't want to 'pester' you for sex when you've recently had the baby and has bought this as a stop gap? That would make him one of the good ones. Or you could just put a post-it on it saying "sorry, opened your post, say no more, enjoy!" or something like that. Depends on how your relationship functions.

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DinoDinner · 07/12/2021 16:43

@RicherThanYew

Only on Mumsnet can your partner buy creepy as fuck sex "toys" and the OP is in the wrong. You lot are something else.


I know! All these so cool wives/partners 🙄
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Ellen888 · 07/12/2021 16:43

@Fetchthevet

Urgh

You think that's bad?

Deep-water fishermen away from home on long trips used to nail a cod's head to the mast......
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Offmyfence · 07/12/2021 16:43

@Rtmhwales

Did you open post that was addressed solely to him? That's illegal where I live. I'd be livid if DP opened my post, especially if the cause was to snoop for a gift.

She didn't it was already opened.

Another one for just ask him!
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Offmyfence · 07/12/2021 16:44

Deep-water fishermen away from home on long trips used to nail a cod's head to the mast......

GrinGrinGrin

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oakleaffy · 07/12/2021 16:44

Just ask him why he bought a novelty torch called 'Ella'..
and does he need any batteries for it../oh, and where is the bulb?

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Rewis · 07/12/2021 16:44

I would assume he had bought himself a toy to help him masturbate. I'm not sure this is a massive mystery.

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Rewis · 07/12/2021 16:47

Only on Mumsnet can your partner buy creepy as fuck sex "toys" and the OP is in the wrong. You lot are something else

Wait...do I need to throw away my vibrator cause its a creepy as fuck sex toy?

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SoupDragon · 07/12/2021 16:47

I know! All these so cool wives/partners

Nothing to do with being "cool" and everything to do with not being a huge sexist hypocrite.

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CovidMakesThingsHard · 07/12/2021 16:50

@Chasingaftermidnight

Buying a sex toy is fine. What’s less fine is leaving the parcel open on the side. He’s either lazy as fuck or he wanted you to find it. I think the latter option is more likely. And in either event he didn’t care if your kid found it.

This
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Offmyfence · 07/12/2021 16:55

@westofnormal

Seems pretty obvious to me. You obviously have issues since you illegally opened his mail and are also not going to talk to him about it, but are instead asking strangers to mind read.

Except she didn't!
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Snoozer11 · 07/12/2021 17:00

It really is pathetic how so many women have a problem with men having totally natural sexual urges.

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Offmyfence · 07/12/2021 17:02

@Snoozer11

It really is pathetic how so many women have a problem with men having totally natural sexual urges.

💯 %
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samyeagar · 07/12/2021 17:03

@Snoozer11

It really is pathetic how so many women have a problem with men having totally natural sexual urges.

I don't think it is so much that some women have a problem with mens sexual urges in general so much as it is that they just want it on their terms.
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Bookworm20 · 07/12/2021 17:04

I don't know. My initial reaction is that I think its gross, but as others have pointed out, women have vibrators.

I guess the difference for me is my vibrator does not look anything like a penis. Its blue for a start. I also think having a vibrator that looks like a penis is grim. And my DP knew I was getting it as we'd discussed it (is that weird?) and i've only ever used it together. To enhance erm things, iyswim.

So I think thats why I find it a bit.......... grim.
I mean its obviously for use just him when alone? Otherwise what would you be doing while he's pumping into that? Just feels a bit seedy.

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EmeraldShamrock · 07/12/2021 17:06

Deep-water fishermen away from home on long trips used to nail a cod's head to the mast...... 🤣
I hope the un-cool wife's protesting don't have a sex toy.
It's a cheap toy It's probably a secret Santa gift.
There are much better versions for personal use. 🤪

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Starcup · 07/12/2021 17:07

At least he’s not having an affair

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Tee20x · 07/12/2021 17:07

Who gets secret Santa delivered to their home?

I think it's obvious that he's ordered it online - probably doesn't want to pester you for sex given that you've just had a baby and wants to take care of it himself.

Nothing wrong with that given that most people masturbate or have some form of sex toy or another.

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Offmyfence · 07/12/2021 17:07

@RicherThanYew

Only on Mumsnet can your partner buy creepy as fuck sex "toys" and the OP is in the wrong. You lot are something else.

Creepy as fuck? Why?

Is a vibratory as creepy as fuck?

Give over.
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mylovelydd · 07/12/2021 17:08

So many men on MN these days. Totally ruin it but I expect that's their goal.

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