To wonder why this has come through the post for DH..?

[namechangedaily]

Saw an opened perfumed shaped parcel on the side and curiosity got the better of me so thought I'd sneak and see if it was the Chanel perfume I'd be hinting about. Found this..
Would you assume it's a secret Santa?
Or I've just had a baby and he clearly isn't getting enough...

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@RicherThanYew

Only on Mumsnet can your partner buy creepy as fuck sex "toys" and the OP is in the wrong. You lot are something else.

So plastic shaped dicks are fine but a plastic vagina is creepy.

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

There are plenty of posters on MN who are female and also own sex toys. Are they not creepy too?!

I don’t personally own any sex toys but I have to say the thought of a grown man ejaculating into this vagina decorated cup and then cleaning his sperm out afterwards is particularly grim

Well don't think about it then. You never do anything in private that wouldn't look good during tea with the vicar?

LOL

I suppose I’d rather my husband using a flesh-tite than another woman.

Hilarious though

DH has just googled it...yes, I know🤦‍♀️ ...it was only £14.99.

He's checking the reviews now and can't stop laughing.

"Certainly does the job, although I feel an upgrade is due as I'm quite big and kept popping out of the other end..."

😂😂😂

@BrightonOrLancaster

I think the worst part about this is you opening a parcel addressed to him. If a friends DP did this to her I would be calling it a red flag.

The package was already open. He left it on the side.

So can’t be that secretive about it.

Hmmm…

I can’t get worked up about this - it’s a sex toy.

I think it's grim - reduces women to a body part. Not keen on penis shaped vibrators either, for the same reason, but it feels more loaded when it's a female body part given how women are treated in society.

You never do anything in private that wouldn't look good during tea with the vicar?

There are layers though, aren’t there? It’s bit like a woman owning a vibrator with testicles, hair and veins on it

I half assumed this post was joke/ windup to get posters discussing what vibrators they have

Oh dear - definitely bought it for himself. I would guess it depends on how you are with using sex toys without each other. Not a secret Santa gift or a prank, it is clearly for him. Time to talk about it.

Would make somewhere handy to keep a vibrator.

If people read the first line the OP says the parcel was opened already. If your DH is leaving it lying around then maybe it's been left there as a particularly unsubtle hint? Knowing you'd probably think it was a present and have a peek. Is this his way of telling you he wants more sex? If so it's a bit pathetic IMO......But if he wants to use it then it's certainly preferable to someone else's real one! They look awful IMO but so do some vibrators, I guess it's more about the feel at the end of the day.
I would ask him what the parcel on the side is and see what he says.

@Justheretoaskaquestion91

You never do anything in private that wouldn't look good during tea with the vicar?

There are layers though, aren’t there? It’s bit like a woman owning a vibrator with testicles, hair and veins on it

It's not like that at all though. That looks nothing like a real vagina.

I couldn't say one way or another, but we NEED TO KNOW please! And quickly 😂

How life experiences can change one's perception. My first thought was that I would have been delighted if my ex had bought this, rather than visit escorts.

Nice nail colour.

Give her a name: Sweet Ms Adams, perhaps.

This is a wind up isn’t it OP? Please keep us updated!
Also I don’t see any reason why it wouldn’t be a secret Santa. Why are PPs saying it definitely isn’t?! People love giving sex-themed secret Santa gifts in my experience

There are layers though, aren’t there? It’s bit like a woman owning a vibrator with testicles, hair and veins on it

Howling.

@Aderyn21

I think it's grim - reduces women to a body part. Not keen on penis shaped vibrators either, for the same reason, but it feels more loaded when it's a female body part given how women are treated in society.

So you’d rather he got an entire woman instead - by cheating on his wife?

The point is that it’s for sexual pleasure. It’s only a body part because it’s not a human, it’s an object and nothing more. Jeez….

DH has added he thought it was some sort of bottle opener

when questioned, he pointed out he went to an all boys school.

Bless him.

Tractor it's not the 1950s - a woman doesn't have to accept something that makes her feel uncomfortable, for fear of her husband cheating

what time is he home?

OMG, the reviews:

“One warning, I put this in the dishwasher to clean while my flat mate was out, but it destroyed the toy so will not do that again!”

What's something else is getting in a feminist frenzy like masturbation isn't by definition a crude simulation of sexual activity, which for men involves a vagina. Unless you think masturbation is creepy, in which case go eat your kelloggs cornflakes and leave normal people alone.

U wot m8? You, my friend, have just given us a masterclass in how to toss a word salad!

It was already opened he's just put it back in the packaging if that makes sense.. snooping definitely never ends well!!