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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so upset about Arthur is it normal

741 replies

Onthedowns · 03/12/2021 16:37

I just cannot stop crying. I know it's another thread but listening to those recordings of that poor boy i have been physically sick and so upset. I have cuddled my children so hard. I came from an abusive background but nothing like him.

I feel completely irrational

Coupled with covid what has happened to society 😔

OP posts:
pickingdaisies · 03/12/2021 16:40

It's a terrible thing. I haven't listened to it, just hearing the reports are upsetting enough. I think your reaction is what any feeling person would have. I have no idea how the people who had to sit through all those recordings will get over it.

discombob · 03/12/2021 16:42

Me too, I cried a bit earlier. It's a normal reaction to a sweet boy being treated so horribly. Bless him, it's the "nobody loved me" that gets me every time.

Lorriestakingppe · 03/12/2021 16:42

It is absolutely awful, not sure being sick is normal but to be horrified and upset definitely is.

Original poster
Onthedowns · 03/12/2021 16:43

@pickingdaisies

It's a terrible thing. I haven't listened to it, just hearing the reports are upsetting enough. I think your reaction is what any feeling person would have. I have no idea how the people who had to sit through all those recordings will get over it.
I don't think i could have sat through that trial. And the woman should have been forced to the Dock.

I just feel completely deflated coupled with covid. It's like an alternate universe from a couple of years ago.

OP posts:
royco · 03/12/2021 16:43

I don't know why anyone would listen to, or watch the video.

Just reading about it is horrifying enough.

PooWillyNameChange · 03/12/2021 16:44

I think YAB a bit U to listen to the recordings. I'm not sure why people do, so gory. I don't know all the details, I can't even bear to read the articles.

Original poster
Onthedowns · 03/12/2021 16:44

@Lorriestakingppe

It is absolutely awful, not sure being sick is normal but to be horrified and upset definitely is.
Probably not but it's made me feel so sick. I know this happens and it's not in the news all the time. The fact they recorded everything is just horrendous
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Chasingaftermidnight · 03/12/2021 16:44

I know what you mean, I haven’t listened to the recordings because I can’t but I’ve been haunted by the reports from the trial.

I think it’s a normal reaction because the case is so horrific in every way.

ChangeChingyChange · 03/12/2021 16:44

@discombob

Me too, I cried a bit earlier. It's a normal reaction to a sweet boy being treated so horribly. Bless him, it's the "nobody loved me" that gets me every time.
Just that quote in the articles choked me up. I absolutely could not watch the video because to hear him actually say it would break me. RIP.
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 03/12/2021 16:44

I can’t listen to it watch it.

Ds is a journalist. He had to listen to them yesterday. He said it was just terrible. The worst day of his career.

royco · 03/12/2021 16:46

In fact, I disagree with those recordings being in the public domain.

Can someone explain why they are? Surely Arthur's privacy should be respected?

It's like a gore-fest to some.

discombob · 03/12/2021 16:46

Just that quote in the articles choked me up. I absolutely could not watch the video because to hear him actually say it would break me. RIP.

Me neither, my heart jumped just hearing the quotes read out.

FourTeaFallOut · 03/12/2021 16:46

I've actively avoided any of the recordings from the case. I don't see any merit in having my nose up to his suffering. I think it's voyeuristic and unethical of the media to publish.

Original poster
Onthedowns · 03/12/2021 16:46

@royco

I don't know why anyone would listen to, or watch the video.

Just reading about it is horrifying enough.

It's on the BBC news page and didn't fully realise. I don't think reading it is enough sometimes it's really not appreciated how desperate that boy was
OP posts:
Akire · 03/12/2021 16:46

Me too it’s being played a lot on radio and news not something you can avoid. Heart breaking. I wish they hadn’t we can know details without having to hear the recordings. I mean it’s all agencies that could have/should been able step in but the world is a cruel place. Not sure how us all knowing details helps anyone

luinagreine · 03/12/2021 16:47

Personally I think it is rather ghoulish of you to sit and listen to recordings of the poor boy, what made you want to do that? I haven't listened to them so can't comment on whether or not the reaction is normal for someone who has chosen to sit down and listen to child abuse.

GetTheFlockOutOfHere · 03/12/2021 16:48

Of course YANBU. It is awful what has happened........ Sad

FourTeaFallOut · 03/12/2021 16:48

I don't think reading it is enough

Is enough to achieve what? What does it serve?

Soontobe60 · 03/12/2021 16:48

Why people have said YABU I dont understand. This is your brain / body reacting to something so visceral possibly linked to your childhood experiences. When Victoria Climbie was murdered I’d just had my daughter. My response to her death was very strong - I was actually surprised at how much it affected me although I obviously had no personal connection with her. I guess it’s the maternal instinct in us that causes such strong emotions sometimes.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that your response is perfectly valid, and just because others may have a different, less emotional response, it doesn’t mean you’re being unreasonable.

GetTheFlockOutOfHere · 03/12/2021 16:48

You do sound a BIT over invested though @Onthedowns

Original poster
Onthedowns · 03/12/2021 16:48

@royco

In fact, I disagree with those recordings being in the public domain.

Can someone explain why they are? Surely Arthur's privacy should be respected?

It's like a gore-fest to some.

I think the point is he didn't have any privacy his whole life of mistreatment was recorded. I don't intend to seek out anything esle like some would but maybe the impact of them stirs people more, it might be the catalyst someone needs to report something
OP posts:
royco · 03/12/2021 16:48

@FourTeaFallOut

I've actively avoided any of the recordings from the case. I don't see any merit in having my nose up to his suffering. I think it's voyeuristic and unethical of the media to publish.
Agree
Simonjt · 03/12/2021 16:50

Yes and no, it is awful, however a significant amount of people seem to be making it about them by competing for the biggest show of grief, others seem to be determined to watch/listen to a child being harmed.

luinagreine · 03/12/2021 16:50

@royco

In fact, I disagree with those recordings being in the public domain.

Can someone explain why they are? Surely Arthur's privacy should be respected?

It's like a gore-fest to some.

I agree so much with this. Give the Arthur some respect. It's all far too voyeuristic and there is something off about people listening to this and then competitively posting about how upset it has made them.
Original poster
Onthedowns · 03/12/2021 16:50

@luinagreine

Personally I think it is rather ghoulish of you to sit and listen to recordings of the poor boy, what made you want to do that? I haven't listened to them so can't comment on whether or not the reaction is normal for someone who has chosen to sit down and listen to child abuse.
I haven't sat and listened to child abuse recordings. I listened to the news on the radio this morning and a phone in then saw it flash up on BBC news who then played it.
OP posts: