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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be so upset about Arthur is it normal

741 replies

Onthedowns · 03/12/2021 16:37

I just cannot stop crying. I know it's another thread but listening to those recordings of that poor boy i have been physically sick and so upset. I have cuddled my children so hard. I came from an abusive background but nothing like him.

I feel completely irrational

Coupled with covid what has happened to society 😔

OP posts:
HumpreyDowny · 10/12/2021 10:19

"They even get ipad time to facetime family. I know someone who's friend is in prison and he has his own cell, own bedding, own clothes from outside, tv, PlayStation, a job, theres a shop for luxuries and snacks, 3 meals a day, games rooms etc..... it is not a myth it's a holiday for them!"

Is this for real?! Please god let it not be... They don't deserve to breathe or be given food let alone TV or PlayStation...

Opalfeet · 10/12/2021 12:36

@cantstopthinking21 this case makes me sad, a little more sad, because there's some similarities with how he looks between him and my little boy.

Our perception must be different, because I consider he has died and has not gone anywhere else and that just feels shit.

I think what gets me about this post is people feeling sad, yet watching the videos, recordings etc.

It's just not necessary.

Fatandfifty49 · 10/12/2021 14:01

I agree. Your example does sound very extreme

AnonPost0320 · 10/12/2021 14:25

Yes it is real unfortunately... with x amount of time of good behaviour they are allowed TV in their cell and games consoles etc.... there are pool tables and other things dotted around the prison for free use during the day.
I'm not 100% if facetime was only permitted during lockdown restrictions or what..... but i do know that they're allowed facetime.
The girl I know who's friend/boyfriend is inside takes screenshots of their facetimes and posts on facebook and there he is in his own cell, nice beddings, own designer clothes etc

Fatandfifty49 · 10/12/2021 15:06

Personally for me, no amount of technology would compensate for being locked up

hazelgrey · 10/12/2021 15:30

After having been a prison nurse for a long time - I can assure you this is no Pontins
Both will get exactly what is coming to them
Yes some but not all have TV and games console but they get stolen - traded - wrecked -
Jobs provide pay of often 50p a week
Food is rank
Cells are cold and damp
Showers are dirty
Almost good enough for these 2

AnonPost0320 · 10/12/2021 15:31

But it does make a distraction and makes time pass by easier.... They shouldn't be allowed any of it. It's not a punishment!

Meaadamson32 · 10/12/2021 18:36

Iv honestly cried so much, I heard a brief bit in the video when it came on the news but quickly grabbed the remote and turned it off. I'm absolutely heartbroken, I'm so glad I'm not the only one. But it's everywhere you look, it's so upsetting. That video needs to be taken down, it's not nice and extremely upsetting for alot of people

Meaadamson32 · 10/12/2021 18:40

I think you just made my day

bluebellYellow · 10/12/2021 20:27

@Meaadamson32 I agree the video should be taken down. It is much nicer to see pictures and videos of Arthur in happier times.

TheNamelessGirl · 10/12/2021 23:42

@Imdreamingofapeacefulxmas

Blue yellow, I do wonder if some element of someone punishment should include what they gave to their victim's.
If I was working in the prison canteen she'd only ever be served food with an entire jar of salt stirred into it.
Opalfeet · 11/12/2021 13:32

It's reported there's been lots of salt put in her meals, by the inmates I think not the workers tho

ilovebrie8 · 11/12/2021 17:50

Inmates or workers it doesn’t matter as long as she suffers...

Alittlebitfat25 · 11/12/2021 17:55

I remember doing a lot of research into an essay I was doing regarding Daniel Pelka, very similiar case except he was only 4 as I am a student social worker. It completely traumatised me to the point I was walking around the house crying most the time and I couldn't stop thinking about it, almost obsessing over it. It felt as though I went through a massive grieving process for this little boy I didn't know.

You are not being unreasonable at all, but you do need to be kind to yourself and slowly work on letting the pain go. For me, it was the fact that Daniel was now at peace and not suffering anymore.

sst1234 · 11/12/2021 18:20

@Alittlebitfat25

I remember doing a lot of research into an essay I was doing regarding Daniel Pelka, very similiar case except he was only 4 as I am a student social worker. It completely traumatised me to the point I was walking around the house crying most the time and I couldn't stop thinking about it, almost obsessing over it. It felt as though I went through a massive grieving process for this little boy I didn't know.

You are not being unreasonable at all, but you do need to be kind to yourself and slowly work on letting the pain go. For me, it was the fact that Daniel was now at peace and not suffering anymore.

You’re right. That was a particularly horrific case. That poor boy went through such prolonged pain. I am guessing his monster of a mother has been released since then. To live her life as normal after taking her sons life in the most horrific way.
Alittlebitfat25 · 11/12/2021 20:03

She ended up killing herself on Daniel's birthday a few years into her sentence. I think that also helped me weirdly as I convinced myself that she actually felt grief or remorse for the horror she inflicted even though we'll never know

TuesdayRuby · 11/12/2021 20:10

I also read that the boyfriend of Daniel Pelka’s mother died from a “heart attack” in prison. Aged 36 Confused
Let’s hope whoever gave him that heart attack gave him a bloody painful one!!

Alittlebitfat25 · 11/12/2021 20:24

I read that too and I had the exact same though. Sounds awful but the thought of them getting the payback they deserve in prison makes it a little easier.

Mufasa1118 · 11/12/2021 22:27

I wasn't upset by this case until I read what Emma texted about Arthur as he lay dying.

She texted *he won't get up for shit" about the dead boy to her partner.

That really made me angry. It shows the level of evil she is

MadeinSW3 · 12/12/2021 21:11

Still sad and disgusted by this. I still don’t understand how the grandmothers didn’t intervene a bit more though when they saw the bruises :(

TheNamelessGirl · 13/12/2021 01:49

@Opalfeet

It's reported there's been lots of salt put in her meals, by the inmates I think not the workers tho
Good.
Opalfeet · 14/12/2021 09:23

@MadeinSW3 a senior social worker has already blamed the grandmother, rather than taking some responsibility themselves. The grandmother reported it, social services did nothing even though Tustin already had two kids in care.

HumpreyDowny · 14/12/2021 10:10

Did they really? What was the blame for? Unbelievable incompetence...

Opalfeet · 14/12/2021 17:18

Here's a link to gmtv vid (if it works) @NeedsCharging decide for yourself.

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D2Q0_J89_l6g&ved=2ahUKEwjflffk5OP0AhURhlwKHf1nDHAQwqsBegQIBBAF&usg=AOvVaw2C7LPmnz7fKI4svRZrrv-7" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3D2Q0_J89_l6g&ved=2ahUKEwjflffk5OP0AhURhlwKHf1nDHAQwqsBegQIBBAF&usg=AOvVaw2C7LPmnz7fKI4svRZrrv-7

Opalfeet · 14/12/2021 17:19

Sorry @HumpreyDowny