To be so upset about Arthur is it normal

[Onthedowns]

I just cannot stop crying. I know it's another thread but listening to those recordings of that poor boy i have been physically sick and so upset. I have cuddled my children so hard. I came from an abusive background but nothing like him.

I feel completely irrational

Coupled with covid what has happened to society 😔

@luinagreine

Personally I think it is rather ghoulish of you to sit and listen to recordings of the poor boy, what made you want to do that? I haven't listened to them so can't comment on whether or not the reaction is normal for someone who has chosen to sit down and listen to child abuse.

One could argue that choosing not to listen to it is akin to turning a blind eye. Listening to it may well seem to be ghoulish to some, but not to others. Personally I wouldn’t listen to it, but I wouldn’t be so keen to condemn others who do.

It was on BBC news this morning and I wasn't paying attention to what they were talking about until they played that video. We turned it off pretty sharpish.

But YANBU OP. My OH was in tears at the bit he heard and he never cries.

Why would anyone listen to the recordings? It's more than enough to know what they contain.

@Simonjt

Yes and no, it is awful, however a significant amount of people seem to be making it about them by competing for the biggest show of grief, others seem to be determined to watch/listen to a child being harmed.

Yep. It's almost straying into virtue signalling territory.

Maybe I'm a cynical person, but I don't believe people when they say it's made them 'physically sick'. Such an overused saying that gets trotted out when something terrible like this happens.

@FourTeaFallOut

I don't think reading it is enough

Is enough to achieve what? What does it serve?

If it seeks more awareness and less ignorance and one child is saved that's enough to for me. Some people like to say there there and ignore what is actually going on. It's fair easier to ignore what you don't see

Yeah it’s weird how people are hugging their children right and posting messages to Arthur on MN. It’s appalling abuse but there has and always will be abuse. Do something useful rather than listening to his active suffering over and over - donate to nspcc, take an interest in safeguarding knowledge, volunteer to work somewhere with deprived kids - even just buy charity Christmas cards.

I cried on the way home from work listening to the Jeremy Vine show talking to some of the news reporters covering the case. I won’t listen to the recordings or watch any of the videos, it’s too upsetting.
That poor boy

*tight

The more I think about it, the more I believe it's utterly disrespectful of Arthur's privacy.

Those recordings shouldn't even existed, let alone be played on the news multiple times a day.

Perhaps coming from an abusive childhood myself it hit some home truths. I certainly havent posted for a competition. I couldn't find an appropriate thread.

Or perhaps its just business as usual

Yanbu. I think some news stayed with you. Arthur is near me and similar age to dd. I'd have taken him on and loved him if only I'd known. I've hugged DD tighter. The video of him asking for food saying no one loves me broke me I wish never seen it! Poor Arthur.

No one is saying it's business as usual.

There is a thread (full now) and a subsequent follow on thread about Arthur.

If it seeks more awareness and less ignorance and one child is saved that's enough to for me. Some people like to say there there and ignore what is actually going on. It's fair easier to ignore what you don't see

And what exactly has you spending your day crying and throwing up then posting on mumsnet to tell everyone that you were crying and throwing up achieved?

I don't think anyone has said they have ignored it have they? They just haven't chosen to listen to recordings of child abuse.

@Onthedowns

Perhaps coming from an abusive childhood myself it hit some home truths. I certainly havent posted for a competition. I couldn't find an appropriate thread.

Or perhaps its just business as usual

ArseInTheCoopWindow your poor DS. Having to cover this case must really be traumatising. I am grateful to the men and women reporting on this so that we learn about Arthur but I couldn't even read half of what has been read. My heart goes out to him

I read the jury have been exempted from further jury service for life.

@Noeuf

Yeah it’s weird how people are hugging their children right and posting messages to Arthur on MN. It’s appalling abuse but there has and always will be abuse. Do something useful rather than listening to his active suffering over and over - donate to nspcc, take an interest in safeguarding knowledge, volunteer to work somewhere with deprived kids - even just buy charity Christmas cards.

Why is it weird to appreciate your children more? I did the same when 9 11 hit.

I haven't listened over and over just sporadically on the news which i turned iff after lunch.

@royco

In fact, I disagree with those recordings being in the public domain.

Can someone explain why they are? Surely Arthur's privacy should be respected?

It's like a gore-fest to some.

I agree. I'm quite into true crime, so am probably a massive hypocrite, but most of the really distressing content is left out of the documentaries and podcasts I listen to. I really thing for Arthur's own privacy and dignity these recordings should never have been released, hearing and seeing him suffer benefits absolutely nobody.

Anyone who isn't moved to action from reading the facts of the case isn't going to be spurred into action from the recording.
And I don't mean hugging your own children tighter - something useful, like writing to your mp, making a charity donation, volunteering...proper action not conspicuous grief.

@royco

In fact, I disagree with those recordings being in the public domain.

Can someone explain why they are? Surely Arthur's privacy should be respected?

It's like a gore-fest to some.

I agree. They should not be all over the internet.

It's obv especially triggering for you op and I'd ask if you've ever had therapy for you abuse and if not to consider it.

Having said that being horrified and sad etc IS a healthy response, it's just that yours is extreme.

I don't think reading it is enough sometimes it's really not appreciated how desperate that boy was why do people i the general popn need to know though. The jury, yes. Legal teams etc. Social services who potentially failed him. But I don't think Mary and Bob need to listen to it over dinner so they can ooh and boo over the details. Can't someone finally give the kid some dignity

@luinagreine

If it seeks more awareness and less ignorance and one child is saved that's enough to for me. Some people like to say there there and ignore what is actually going on. It's fair easier to ignore what you don't see

And what exactly has you spending your day crying and throwing up then posting on mumsnet to tell everyone that you were crying and throwing up achieved?

I don't think anyone has said they have ignored it have they? They just haven't chosen to listen to recordings of child abuse.

But again as repeated in my title its obviously not so normal to be so physically affected by it. Perhaps i feel better talking about it rather than just brushing it under the carpet and carrying on.

I consider myself extremely hardened due to my background however this has very much made me feel ill.

They had video him struggling stand at home which so upsetting I had rush find remote to turn over. Surely they can report details without that. I mean if I get beaten to death not be very happy about videos of it being shared around the world. No need at all

@FourTeaFallOut

Anyone who isn't moved to action from reading the facts of the case isn't going to be spurred into action from the recording. And I don't mean hugging your own children tighter - something useful, like writing to your mp, making a charity donation, volunteering...proper action not conspicuous grief.

I have done that over the years and acted as a volunteer for children in social care for years.

Some people like to look through life I rise tinted glasses and it's really not like that

I understand OP,

Sometimes the awfulness of the world is just too much to bear.

I remember when I was pregnant with my last child, a lovely woman in my local shop was pregnant at the same time, and we would have a little chat when she was on and I was picking up a few bits during the last couple of months.

She had her little boy, Max, a week after mine and he died soon afterwards because of complications.

I remember sobbing every time I thought of it, for several days.

I was just devastated for her, this lovely woman whose name I didn't know.

Within two years she had died from breast cancer, and I cried again for her, her husband and her 3 children she left behind.

The world can be a very hard place for some people.

Arthur is safe now.

I hope they both live out their long lives in misery and torment.

I hope they both NEVER allowed escape what they have done to that sweet little child.

Mind yourself OP.