Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so upset about Arthur is it normal

741 replies

Onthedowns · 03/12/2021 16:37

I just cannot stop crying. I know it's another thread but listening to those recordings of that poor boy i have been physically sick and so upset. I have cuddled my children so hard. I came from an abusive background but nothing like him.

I feel completely irrational

Coupled with covid what has happened to society 😔

OP posts:
TheVolturi · 03/12/2021 17:02

If you're upset by things like this then sadly the best thing you can do is avoid reading the articles. I definitely don't know why anyone would listen to recordings of this nature. Just no.

luinagreine · 03/12/2021 17:03

But again as repeated in my title its obviously not so normal to be so physically affected by it. Perhaps i feel better talking about it rather than just brushing it under the carpet and carrying on.

So you admit this thread isn't about Arthur at all, this is a thread is about you, to make you feel better?
So since you asked I think you are very unreasonable to try and make his abuse and death about you.

SallyWD · 03/12/2021 17:03

I feel exactly the same. Luckily I've avoided the video and tried not to read any details but I've still absorbed a lot of information about it. It's made me feel physically sick, shakey, unable to sleep.

FourTeaFallOut · 03/12/2021 17:04

There's no rose tinted glasses about it. I just don't feeling entitled to oogle the recorded life of this poor abuse child to achieve some false notion that I have achieved something by watching.

Original poster
Onthedowns · 03/12/2021 17:04

@royco

No one is saying it's business as usual.

There is a thread (full now) and a subsequent follow on thread about Arthur.

I couldn't see it on the initial pages. I haven't done this for anything other than sincere reasons.

Perhaps there is an argument for these not to be shown but i have no doubt the media haven't published the worst ones. I am assuming the judge could have stopped this at the time

OP posts:
Seemslikeagoodidea · 03/12/2021 17:05

OP, everyone has a different idea of what is "normal", so don't give yourself a hard time for getting upset - lots of people are feeling that way. Try not to listen to any more news coverage or discussions on the case, you know the horrific details now and can't unknow them, but there's no point thinking about it constantly. Arthur's torment is at an end now, you can't help him by making yourself sick over this awful story.

TheCatWearsPrada · 03/12/2021 17:06

Threads like this are all the same it's competitive grieving and it's sick.

x2boys · 03/12/2021 17:06

The whole case is awful ,but I find these threads a bit distasteful ,some people seem to be competing about who can most upset .

Original poster
Onthedowns · 03/12/2021 17:07

@luinagreine

But again as repeated in my title its obviously not so normal to be so physically affected by it. Perhaps i feel better talking about it rather than just brushing it under the carpet and carrying on.

So you admit this thread isn't about Arthur at all, this is a thread is about you, to make you feel better?
So since you asked I think you are very unreasonable to try and make his abuse and death about you.

Oh my god. I stated it has touched a nerve. Why would it not make anyone feel better to talk about these events or be around like minded people. I think you are massively over thinking and making a really ill mannered comment

I find your comments extremely insulting actually and really unnecessary.

OP posts:
Mufasa1118 · 03/12/2021 17:07

I would also suggest that we need to look at English society as a whole.

I was born in England and then I moved as a child to another country.

As an adult I have just moved back to England. I am shocked at how cold and cruel people are here in England.

I just visited some English relatives. My uncle told me I was ugly and he told his dog to bite me. Other people I have talked to in England have also been cruel.
If you ask people all over the world, they will often call English people cold and cruel. So it is something we need to look at!

Why is it. There are big society failings in England. I think as a society we are taught to be cold and to not show any emotion

DrSbaitso · 03/12/2021 17:08

The question in the OP is about your reaction and whether it is normal. Is this what you want us to discuss?

endofthelinefinally · 03/12/2021 17:08

I am appalled that those videos were shown on the TV. That poor, poor little boy.

Original poster
Onthedowns · 03/12/2021 17:09

@TheCatWearsPrada

Threads like this are all the same it's competitive grieving and it's sick.
🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ It's not done for a competition. Why can no one start a thread these days without a shitty comment from someone.

It's so bloody unnecessary.

Out of respect for him i will ask the thread is removed as even with some topics some people just cannot wait for an argument

OP posts:
Original poster
Onthedowns · 03/12/2021 17:09

@DrSbaitso

The question in the OP is about your reaction and whether it is normal. Is this what you want us to discuss?
Thank you yes
OP posts:
Mufasa1118 · 03/12/2021 17:10

You dont have to remove the thread

MLMshouldbeillegal · 03/12/2021 17:10

I think you are being a bit unreasonable to be honest. I have not sought out more information than has been given on the main news bulletins about this case, shocking as it is. I know there are recordings out there but I don't want to listen to them. You don't just happen across them, you have to actively seek them out.

Just why? Why have you sought out audio of a child being abused, knowing it will upset you? What has it added to your life, knowledge, experience? It's like those awful books which were all the rage a few years ago which was an adult recounting horribly abusive childhoods.

Your reaction OP is extreme. Yes it's natural to feel sad, shed a tear. Especially if you have kids the same age. But being physically sick and not being able to stop crying? Bit much. Stop seeking out gory details if it upsets you so much.

FourTeaFallOut · 03/12/2021 17:11

Then yes. Before the thread is removed, it is entirely usual to feel distressed by watching recordings like this. It achieves nothing and is best avoided.

TeloMere · 03/12/2021 17:12

Why did you watch the video? Surely you knew it would be upsetting.

Original poster
Onthedowns · 03/12/2021 17:12

@MLMshouldbeillegal

I think you are being a bit unreasonable to be honest. I have not sought out more information than has been given on the main news bulletins about this case, shocking as it is. I know there are recordings out there but I don't want to listen to them. You don't just happen across them, you have to actively seek them out.

Just why? Why have you sought out audio of a child being abused, knowing it will upset you? What has it added to your life, knowledge, experience? It's like those awful books which were all the rage a few years ago which was an adult recounting horribly abusive childhoods.

Your reaction OP is extreme. Yes it's natural to feel sad, shed a tear. Especially if you have kids the same age. But being physically sick and not being able to stop crying? Bit much. Stop seeking out gory details if it upsets you so much.

Sorry its on the BBC news page and it's been played on the radio I haven't sought out anything
OP posts:
NoSauce · 03/12/2021 17:12

I can’t stop thinking about him too. Standing in the hall for 11+ hours hungry and distressed, honestly it makes me feel so, so sad and angry along with all the other atrocities he suffered.

It’s unbearable.

LizzieSiddal · 03/12/2021 17:12
Flowers I kept waking last night thinking about little Arthur and I only read reports and didn’t watch any videos.

I do agree with others that the widespread publication of those videos is just dreadful and unnecessary. In future OP try to not watch/read reports about something so awful, you don’t need to know the details.

Mufasa1118 · 03/12/2021 17:13

I have read a lot about child abuse.

But this is just disgusting

tttigress · 03/12/2021 17:13

I think lockdowns have made this sort of thing more likely. Very depressing.

EmotionalSupportBear · 03/12/2021 17:14

i haven't looked for anything, just heard it on the BBC news last night on TV.

it absolutely upset me, and made me want to go hug my kids and remind them that i love the bones off them.

I'm horrified anyone could treat a child like that, but i feel like that ANY time i hear about child abuse, and i don't think that's unusual.

I think if you've had such a strong reaction to it though, you ought to maybe look into why its affected you so strongly.

Akrotiri1 · 03/12/2021 17:14

Not at all.

I was weeping for him whilst cleaning the kitchen today - Jeremy Vine was discussing the case on Radio 2 and then came the announcement of her sentencing, so emotional.

I hope they both rot in hell......