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Fallen out with daughter’s ex-friend’s mother. Need a wider opinion.
283

Foodie321 · 03/12/2021 08:02

My 14 year old daughter was friends with a girl from primary school until they fell out earlier this year. I’m relieved as she was of the same age and getting drunk, engaging in risky sexual behaviour ruling her parents whilst trying to do the same with my daughter. The friend had given my daughter a coat last year that not longer fit her or even that she wanted so my daughter accepted. Now over 6 months later the family want the coat back. Personally I don’t have a problem with handing the coat back but we had paid £100 pounds for a concert ticket that they refused to hand over to us and instead took another friend. I have therefore asked for the £100 in return for the coat. The mother is refusing by saying that they took my daughter on holiday and that they will keep the £100 as a contribution. They had asked if my daughter could go on holiday to Wales for a week with them so we reluctantly accepted knowing that it wasn’t anywhere like Aya Napa! Friend’s mother mentioned they would do water sports so I placed £100 in an envelope as a contribution towards water sports, however they did not accept the money at the time and told my daughter to keep the money. No water sports were done and the week’s holiday was cut short by 3 days due to the friend’s demands to come home. I’m now a full-time student at university, they are not short of a bob or two but I appreciate that it isn’t the point. I’m just upset that they think they can rob me know months later and decide what money goes to whom as it suits them. It feels like they are taking revenge on us for ending the friendship. Should I forget about the money and just return the coat???

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 03/12/2021 10:00

Do you know anyone with bedbugs or clothes moths to whom you can lend the coat before you give it back?

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knobblykneesandturnedouttoes · 03/12/2021 10:01

Just send her a message

'The coat will be returned when you return our £100'

It's all very well saying just give it back and have them out your life, but this is how bullies get away with it. Teach your daughter to stand up for herself.

I do know it's hard though, when you're non confrontational and just want drama to go away. I'm the same, that's why I've been the victim of many injustices throughout my life. I'm trying to change that these days though. It feels good.

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BluebellsGreenbells · 03/12/2021 10:01

It’s not being a walk over, a secondhand coat is a good price to get rid of these awful people.

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RockinHorseShit · 03/12/2021 10:01

Put the coat on FB marketplace for £100, and send her a link to it.


Love this suggestion 😂😂😂, perfect if you really want to do a big 2 fingers up to her,I probably wouldn't due to DDs being in school together, but I like your style way more than the roll & give in over mob

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Pipsquiggle · 03/12/2021 10:02

Is the only thing tying yourself to this family a coat and £100?

If so just cut ties. See it as - £100 for the 3 days in Wales - fine - let it go.

Give the coat back and cut ALL ties.

Do you really want your 14yr old DD hanging out with another girl who is getting drunk and 'engaging in sexually risky behaviour?'
I would gladly be rid of this other girl for £100 and a coat

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Queenoftheashes · 03/12/2021 10:03

Go on judge rinder

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RockinHorseShit · 03/12/2021 10:04

It’s not being a walk over, a secondhand coat is a good price to get rid of these awful people.

I understand your reasoning, but sorry, this is definitely being a walk over however you justify it though

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ponkydonkey · 03/12/2021 10:04

£100 for a concert ticket and she wasn't allowed to go!!? That's awful what a cow

Personally I'd ignore and block and ignore

Court action 🤣🤣🤣 for a coat that was given
I'm sure the courts who have much better things to do would be very very interested in the £100 concert ticket you paid for a didn't get

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50ShadesOfCatholic · 03/12/2021 10:06

@Foodie321

Thank you all for your replies. Most are saying to return the coat. It is dysfunctional and toxic, I agree. That’s why I posted as it doesn’t sit well with me, but at the same time I hate to be a walkover!

Good decision. Break ties with these awful people. You will feel better right away.
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Santaischeckinglists · 03/12/2021 10:07

I fell out with dd's bff's df... He sent me ranting messages about all he had spent on my dd. I told him to send me a bill with receipts and I would square up with him.
Never heard another word.
Dd keeps in touch with bff via sm as we live a bit apart these days.

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Switch82 · 03/12/2021 10:08

Be glad you have done such an amazing job with your daughter. Leave them and their ‘messed up ness’ to it - karma has its ways of working wonders. Dump the coat on their doorstep (take a photo of it DHL style) and walk away from them and all this hassle

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TheRigatonini · 03/12/2021 10:10

Say you don’t have the cost anymore as you gave it to a friend.

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TheRigatonini · 03/12/2021 10:10

Then sell it.

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nauticant · 03/12/2021 10:10

Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

Don't get drawn into the dramas of people who live for that kind of thing.

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Ohmybod · 03/12/2021 10:11

Court action when the coat was gifted? Utter bollocks.

But for a quiet life I’d probably put the coat on, roll in fox poo and leave it on their doorstep.

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MuguetRose · 03/12/2021 10:12

I'd return the coat and count the concert money as a contribution to money for holiday food and petrol. You are well shot of them. I'd enjoy a holiday in Wales much more than aya napa but I'm not your dd

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Tabbydancer · 03/12/2021 10:15

Take moral high ground and Give it back and block all contact on all fronts
It’s a pointless battle and the mother sounds awful

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authenticforgery · 03/12/2021 10:15

You're not being a walkover. You're putting up a strong boundary. They have behaved badly. Forget the money if you can and then totally grey rock them.

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TheRigatonini · 03/12/2021 10:18

@Queenoftheashes

Go on judge rinder

Grin
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AppleJane · 03/12/2021 10:19

Ask a charity shop to put the coat in their window. Take a photo and send them the photo as proof.

If you let them treat you like this they'll carry on doing it to everyone.

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FuckingFucksicles · 03/12/2021 10:20

Id burn the fucking coat right infront of them! Cheeky fucking bastards! Stand your ground and tell them to go fuck themselves utter peasants!

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AppleJane · 03/12/2021 10:20

And then but it back and keep the receipt. It's now yours Grin

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Justilou1 · 03/12/2021 10:20

Pity about the giant grease stains spelling out “£100 = the price of friendship” on the coat, isn’t it?

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mrsbitaly · 03/12/2021 10:21

These things can get quite nasty and escalate quite quickly I would give the coat back and you never have to deal with them again

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AppleJane · 03/12/2021 10:21

I wouldn't damage the coat, you'll know where they'll go next with that. Stick with the charity story.

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